Sadly, it appears the 'creatives' are sticking with theirFear not… another load of crap ‘landing’ shortly. Fml
When they can be bothered.
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When they can be bothered.
Vlogmas #20 "Nadia Shares Update on Parents; Mark Goes on MAD XMAS DASH; The Snow Village is BORN!!! It's New Year''s Eve and I hope you all had a good Christmas. Our Christmas was GREEN. 
It was also rainy and foggy and has been like that all week. I managed to get a migraine with phantom smells and GI upset. It could be the weather, it could be from watching and recapping these Vlogmas episodes. 
I can't believe there are 22 of these lame brain vlogs. Gingerbread men.
It's Nadia, says she has been unwell. She says they are running behind, etc. and says "Oh tit! I've just realized there are no bloody decorations on the top and no faerie!" Nadia decides to just show the tree. She turns on the lights, shows the tree with its decoratiions and sings "Silent Night" incorrectly. Dancing Santas. Eww. It's Mark in a wonky hat. He has all the Christmas village boxes down. This village is going to spread over different heights with a spotlight "sprinkling over the town." He opens a package of snow and it is a tiny pad. Does he ever read the measurements on the packages? Much swearing about how tiny the snow blankets are. "I didn't look at the size!" No tit Sherlock! He mentions tearing open a duvet or shaving Chi Chi. He tells Nadia not to go around the corner. Mark asks her about a duvet and some help with the snow village, "Like you reached out for logs," He wants the inners of a duvet. "Do we have an old duvet that we sometimes get and think 'Oh I hate this.'" That has been one of my pet peeves with these two. They buy things willy nilly and then decide they hate it or they have forgotten about it, whilst it gathers dust in a corner. Must be nice having all that money to burn and be wasteful. How many times do they have a skip in front of their house? Does it ever leave?
Mark asks when she is going to get this duvet, that she will put it on her list and then forget about it. He gets a nice STFU from Nadia. He then accuses her of not doing much in the chalet and Nadia tells him that she was screamed at by Dina for hours on end. Mark then points to the tree top sans faerie and says her interests don't go beyond the chalet. She says she hasn't been well and he says "BOLLOCKS!" Bickering ensues. "Christmas finishes as soon as you walk into the kitchen!" He swears some more. witches that they have only sat in the chalet once talking about Glugewein and food. Nadia reminds him that Dina is off to France and bringing around the presents tonight. Mark give Nadia an ornament. It is a dog with a sweater on with ski goggles. He gives her something else and says it's for the chalet. Nadia says she has a feeling she isn't going to like this. It's an Elton John ornament with feathers on it. Nadia said she should have got one for Simone.
Nadia mentions getting abuse from Mark in the loft. Err, selective memory much? She was doling out the abuse. Mark accuses Dina of abusing them both. Now I know that there are some of us who are not the biggest fans of Dina, but lets be honest, at least she can start and finish something, unlike these two ne'er do wells. He's green jelly. Mark claims come January, when Dina isn't going to be there, they will be pulling out staples for years. Well that will give you something to do, in between the wee film and your EDITING. "Aww look. you're doing Christmas cards and there's a Christmas tree. You're looking festive Nads." Mark got some festive LEGO for the girls to do to add to the village. Nadia says knowing Mark, they are going to end up with an entire half side of the house covered in LEGO. It's a bit later and Mark says he doesn't want to do Xmas anymore. He asks Nadia if she wants him to put the angel on the top of the tree. She says not now as she wants him to "Get the duck out of the house." Classy. The way they speak to each other is gross. IT'S TIME TO GO F**K OFF! Dancing faerie time.
Doofus is in the car and talks about how Nadia is right about the LEGO, that it could get out of control. He is going into town to get his last bits and bobs. He wonders how many coffees he is going to need and fondles the hat bobble. Now it's Nadia and her wet head. Nadia laughs about Mark getting all hot and sweaty over the snow village and she admits to seeing it. Mark is back complaining about being kicked in the shins by a small child named Terry. Mark says the name Terry isn't very modern. It's a sensible name, unlike Jaxon, Zephr or Binx. "I nearly kicked Terry back and then I could see the shop assistant was incredibly kind and generous, also wanted to do something about Terry, because he started to throw the bath balls, shower balls all over the place." Mentions something about Terry having a mouthful of bubbles. Nadia is going to be putting on a pair of Xmas tree earrings for Mark and look through the naughty Advent calendar. Mark is back bitching about a boy named Cyril who stepped on his foot, tripped and puked. Yeah, nice story Mark. Now he is claiming his LUSH bag took out a girl name Felicity and she landed in the gutter. Nadia going about doing something Chrismassy, blah, blah. Mark is back with another tall tale about another boy who looked like Damian in "The Omen" and claiming the kid could skin him. If only. Nadia is back saying how sweet Mark is, how he is rushing around getting the girls presents. "I'm very blessed." 
Mark mentions the cards he is posting. Nadia waxing on about Mark again. Another stupid story about a kid named Bosh. 
This back and forth is annoying. Nadia is in the bog talking about her stoic mum. Betty has a pain in her foot and has had it for 5 days. Nadia asked her why she didn't say anything and Betty said it's not like she would have been able to do anything for her. Nadia says she would have offered her sympathy. Betty doesn't like sympathy. Mark says Nadia was watching Trina do a segment on belts. The girls told him to go to Rockit to get a belt, but Mark says he has never seen Nadia wear a belt. Nadia is popping her contacts in. Tells us how the doctor in Jordan has been looking after Betty, going around to see her and said when she is better, he will take her out to lunch. I remember the days when you could get a same day appointment. Now, you'd be lucky if you get an appointment in the same month. Bloody provincial gov't. We have a backlog of surgeries and surgeons have asked the gov't to allow them to do electives from 4-8 p.m. and they would be able to clear it. Bastards have said no.
Nadia says the caretaker of her parents' building is taking Teddy for walks and cooking for them as Betty cannot. Nadia is blown away by the kindness and can't believe the Islamaphobia out there. Mentions the Palestinian social media accounts that are focusing on the beauty of Palestine and positives of Arab life. Nadia met the caretaker on Zoom whilst chatting to her parents and she thanked him for taking care of her parents. "Though I am missing them terribly, they are happier where they are." Honestly, even though Jordan is a safe place now, I would be silently shitting bricks, because Israel wants to drag everyone into their shitstorm. There are American and British troops involved in surveillance. Nadia says Teddy was taking some medication after his heart surgery and asked if he still needs to take it. The doctors said yes and he was feeling miserable. He goes to Jordan the doctor took him off of the med and now he feels fine. She must be talking about an anticoagulant. They usually say you have to take it for 1 year and then get a follow-up. Nadia thanks everyone for their well wishes for them.
Xmas shopping hell again. Mark is rocket eyeing up a manequin wearing 70s snow pants. Belts, belts and more belts. Mark says he finds belts ick, as if he is some great arbiter of style. Nadia slathering on the moisturizer, trying to pump herself up to make some nibbles. She now has on her slap and the tree earrings. She notices her greying roots. "You can't say now I don't make an effort." She looks around the corner and says "Bless him." She mentions he seems to be doing that quite well. Mark is in Cucumber Hall and he is fading. Mentions another small boy named Toby and guess what? He looked like a Toby mug. "He even had a handle, so his mum could pick him up." Nadia has a delivery. "These are so sweet and Christmassy." They are placemarkers with their nicknames on them. One of the subs sent them a centrepiece of Xmas trees on a log. Mark is at the "Eternally disappointing Seven Dials." No Xmas lights apparently. A crying toddler in the background. Nadia has some antlers on. She is making a Christmas snack with Maddie filming. Mark mumbling about presents in the elevator. He is off for an avocado wrap at Pret.
Nadia at this point tell Mark to insert the footage for the tree thing. It is a Xmas tree on a cracker, but the film is someone else doing it. Oh, she is having a go at doing this. Pretzel stick in a Laughing Cow triangle of cheese, this then gets dipped into what looks like chopped chives to look like a tree and placed on a cracker. She gets her cheese triangles out but thinks they are bigger in the footage. Maddie tells her it doesn't matter. Some BRAND NEW INFORMATION for Nadia, as she has discovered that the little red tab on the cheese, you use it to open the wrapping. Doesn't everyone know that? Maddie is stunned Nadia doesn't. Nadia wants it Instagram perfect, but Maddie tells her she manages to do it worse. Mark walking around and hasn't run into a toddler in 15 minutes. Maddie has to instruct Nadia on how to open the cheese triangle. Maddie eats cheese triangles like a dip with Pringles. Mark takes the cheese and puts it between crisps like a sandwich. Nadia does not approve. On the 4th try she does it perfectly. Maungy Mark and the child is called Samson. Tries to remember the biblical tale of Samson and Delilah. Mentions having"creatives" in the family. He is off to the Photographer's Gallery.
Back in the kitchen, Nadia is trying to tell us where to find the pretzel sticks. She says if you are in Sainsbury's, don't look in the biscuit section, don't look in the Sainsbury's sex section. "Oh dear" says a congested Maddie.
She goes on to say it's not in the snacks section, you know where they were? "The Korean section! And they're Polish." Makes sense. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but staff in the grocery store don't know where anything is these days and don't give a flying fig either. You know Mark went to the Photographer's Gallery, right? Well, he got Kiki a book on photography, a book on motherhood and photography, because she studied it you see. Maddie got a disposible camera. Do you know who allegedly he ran into at said shop? Christopher Nolan. Meanwhile, Nadia seems to be eating her project. She tries to stick the pretzel in, but breaks it. Mark is in Chinatown to tell us that when Christopher Nolan opened the door for him, he told him that he really liked "Oppenheimer," which was a lie. He allegedly said thanks. What a dipshit, if this is true. I saw Atom Egoyan, I didn't say woo Atom, loved "The Sweet Hereafter." We exchanged smiles, no bullshit. Edible Xmas trees and Nadia manages to get the stick in "This could work Mads," but she rubs the cheese in the chives instead of pressing it into the chives. Maddie tells her she rubbed the cheese in and that was wrong, she goes ahead and does it a second time. 
Maddie tells her to dab and voila! Silly bint. She forgot to put it on the biscuit. Does she have cotton wool for a brain? She does her thrid one and breaks the pretzel stick twice.
Nadia and Maddie dish on Mark being a right twerp. Nadia says she made a Shepherd's pie last night and Mark said he doesn't like Shepherd's pie. Maddie says he says the same with spaghetti. Maddie says Nadia made two, so Patrick and she had one and Nadia said there is another one if you want it, but Maddie said she will leave that for dad, when he decides he likes Shepherd's pie again. "Ten minutes pass and he comes into my room and says 'Guys, I'm on my third portion of Shepherd's pie, it's really nice innit?'" Nadia says half an hour after that she could smell something. They were sitting on the sofa and she asked him what he has eaten. "The Christmas crisps." These were the Christmas Day bacon crisps.
"He is sooo annoying" says Maddie. Maddie goes on to say he is literally a child, even the stuff he bought them as kids he ate as well. He also doesn't put things where they belong. Nadia mentions to Maddie about her wanting Nutella and pancakes for Christmas breakfast, well she can't find the Nutella jar. "You're kidding !?!" says Maddie. Nadia says it's because Mark unpacked it. Maddi says that earlier this year, whilst they were watching TV, a Nutella advert came on and he said "I don't want Nutella for Xmas this year." Maddie said "Really? Do you now?" Nadia wants to catch him out on camera, with Maddie there "and watch the lies." Maddie asks if she thinks he has eaten it and Nadia shrugs her shoulders. "Either that, or he has hidden it." Maddie says that men can't hide things well, so it will be somewhere obvious. Nadia asks Maddie about the snow village and she says it's very sweet. Nadia thinks it's quite good. Getting back to the cheese trees, Nadia looked at the video and the chick had way more chives than Nadia has. Nadia starts singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas."
Nadia accidentally records the two of them talking about Mark and the missing Nutella and crisps. Maddie swears he has eaten the whole jar and Nadia has to interrogate him. Maddie puts her foot down and says if he has eaten it all, he needs to go out to the shops and buy a new jar for Xmas. Nadia is so proud of Maddie "That's my girl." They go on to talk about Mark and his crisp addiction. Maddie says before he comes into the house he has deffo eaten two packets before. "Every time we get into the car it smells of chicken crisps." Maddie says there is one for the trip, one for the drive and one at home. Nadia says she can see what he is up to in the living room in the reflection in the window. I always knew he was a secret eater. Gingerbread men.
It was also rainy and foggy and has been like that all week. I managed to get a migraine with phantom smells and GI upset. It could be the weather, it could be from watching and recapping these Vlogmas episodes. I can't believe there are 22 of these lame brain vlogs. Gingerbread men.It's Nadia, says she has been unwell. She says they are running behind, etc. and says "Oh tit! I've just realized there are no bloody decorations on the top and no faerie!" Nadia decides to just show the tree. She turns on the lights, shows the tree with its decoratiions and sings "Silent Night" incorrectly. Dancing Santas. Eww. It's Mark in a wonky hat. He has all the Christmas village boxes down. This village is going to spread over different heights with a spotlight "sprinkling over the town." He opens a package of snow and it is a tiny pad. Does he ever read the measurements on the packages? Much swearing about how tiny the snow blankets are. "I didn't look at the size!" No tit Sherlock! He mentions tearing open a duvet or shaving Chi Chi. He tells Nadia not to go around the corner. Mark asks her about a duvet and some help with the snow village, "Like you reached out for logs," He wants the inners of a duvet. "Do we have an old duvet that we sometimes get and think 'Oh I hate this.'" That has been one of my pet peeves with these two. They buy things willy nilly and then decide they hate it or they have forgotten about it, whilst it gathers dust in a corner. Must be nice having all that money to burn and be wasteful. How many times do they have a skip in front of their house? Does it ever leave?
Mark asks when she is going to get this duvet, that she will put it on her list and then forget about it. He gets a nice STFU from Nadia. He then accuses her of not doing much in the chalet and Nadia tells him that she was screamed at by Dina for hours on end. Mark then points to the tree top sans faerie and says her interests don't go beyond the chalet. She says she hasn't been well and he says "BOLLOCKS!" Bickering ensues. "Christmas finishes as soon as you walk into the kitchen!" He swears some more. witches that they have only sat in the chalet once talking about Glugewein and food. Nadia reminds him that Dina is off to France and bringing around the presents tonight. Mark give Nadia an ornament. It is a dog with a sweater on with ski goggles. He gives her something else and says it's for the chalet. Nadia says she has a feeling she isn't going to like this. It's an Elton John ornament with feathers on it. Nadia said she should have got one for Simone.
Nadia mentions getting abuse from Mark in the loft. Err, selective memory much? She was doling out the abuse. Mark accuses Dina of abusing them both. Now I know that there are some of us who are not the biggest fans of Dina, but lets be honest, at least she can start and finish something, unlike these two ne'er do wells. He's green jelly. Mark claims come January, when Dina isn't going to be there, they will be pulling out staples for years. Well that will give you something to do, in between the wee film and your EDITING. "Aww look. you're doing Christmas cards and there's a Christmas tree. You're looking festive Nads." Mark got some festive LEGO for the girls to do to add to the village. Nadia says knowing Mark, they are going to end up with an entire half side of the house covered in LEGO. It's a bit later and Mark says he doesn't want to do Xmas anymore. He asks Nadia if she wants him to put the angel on the top of the tree. She says not now as she wants him to "Get the duck out of the house." Classy. The way they speak to each other is gross. IT'S TIME TO GO F**K OFF! Dancing faerie time.
Doofus is in the car and talks about how Nadia is right about the LEGO, that it could get out of control. He is going into town to get his last bits and bobs. He wonders how many coffees he is going to need and fondles the hat bobble. Now it's Nadia and her wet head. Nadia laughs about Mark getting all hot and sweaty over the snow village and she admits to seeing it. Mark is back complaining about being kicked in the shins by a small child named Terry. Mark says the name Terry isn't very modern. It's a sensible name, unlike Jaxon, Zephr or Binx. "I nearly kicked Terry back and then I could see the shop assistant was incredibly kind and generous, also wanted to do something about Terry, because he started to throw the bath balls, shower balls all over the place." Mentions something about Terry having a mouthful of bubbles. Nadia is going to be putting on a pair of Xmas tree earrings for Mark and look through the naughty Advent calendar. Mark is back bitching about a boy named Cyril who stepped on his foot, tripped and puked. Yeah, nice story Mark.
Now he is claiming his LUSH bag took out a girl name Felicity and she landed in the gutter. Nadia going about doing something Chrismassy, blah, blah. Mark is back with another tall tale about another boy who looked like Damian in "The Omen" and claiming the kid could skin him. If only. Nadia is back saying how sweet Mark is, how he is rushing around getting the girls presents. "I'm very blessed." Mark mentions the cards he is posting. Nadia waxing on about Mark again. Another stupid story about a kid named Bosh. This back and forth is annoying. Nadia is in the bog talking about her stoic mum. Betty has a pain in her foot and has had it for 5 days. Nadia asked her why she didn't say anything and Betty said it's not like she would have been able to do anything for her. Nadia says she would have offered her sympathy. Betty doesn't like sympathy. Mark says Nadia was watching Trina do a segment on belts. The girls told him to go to Rockit to get a belt, but Mark says he has never seen Nadia wear a belt. Nadia is popping her contacts in. Tells us how the doctor in Jordan has been looking after Betty, going around to see her and said when she is better, he will take her out to lunch. I remember the days when you could get a same day appointment. Now, you'd be lucky if you get an appointment in the same month. Bloody provincial gov't. We have a backlog of surgeries and surgeons have asked the gov't to allow them to do electives from 4-8 p.m. and they would be able to clear it. Bastards have said no.
Nadia says the caretaker of her parents' building is taking Teddy for walks and cooking for them as Betty cannot. Nadia is blown away by the kindness and can't believe the Islamaphobia out there. Mentions the Palestinian social media accounts that are focusing on the beauty of Palestine and positives of Arab life. Nadia met the caretaker on Zoom whilst chatting to her parents and she thanked him for taking care of her parents. "Though I am missing them terribly, they are happier where they are." Honestly, even though Jordan is a safe place now, I would be silently shitting bricks, because Israel wants to drag everyone into their shitstorm. There are American and British troops involved in surveillance. Nadia says Teddy was taking some medication after his heart surgery and asked if he still needs to take it. The doctors said yes and he was feeling miserable. He goes to Jordan the doctor took him off of the med and now he feels fine. She must be talking about an anticoagulant. They usually say you have to take it for 1 year and then get a follow-up. Nadia thanks everyone for their well wishes for them.Xmas shopping hell again. Mark is rocket eyeing up a manequin wearing 70s snow pants. Belts, belts and more belts. Mark says he finds belts ick, as if he is some great arbiter of style. Nadia slathering on the moisturizer, trying to pump herself up to make some nibbles. She now has on her slap and the tree earrings. She notices her greying roots. "You can't say now I don't make an effort." She looks around the corner and says "Bless him." She mentions he seems to be doing that quite well. Mark is in Cucumber Hall and he is fading. Mentions another small boy named Toby and guess what? He looked like a Toby mug.
"He even had a handle, so his mum could pick him up." Nadia has a delivery. "These are so sweet and Christmassy." They are placemarkers with their nicknames on them. One of the subs sent them a centrepiece of Xmas trees on a log. Mark is at the "Eternally disappointing Seven Dials." No Xmas lights apparently. A crying toddler in the background. Nadia has some antlers on. She is making a Christmas snack with Maddie filming. Mark mumbling about presents in the elevator. He is off for an avocado wrap at Pret.Nadia at this point tell Mark to insert the footage for the tree thing. It is a Xmas tree on a cracker, but the film is someone else doing it. Oh, she is having a go at doing this. Pretzel stick in a Laughing Cow triangle of cheese, this then gets dipped into what looks like chopped chives to look like a tree and placed on a cracker. She gets her cheese triangles out but thinks they are bigger in the footage. Maddie tells her it doesn't matter. Some BRAND NEW INFORMATION for Nadia, as she has discovered that the little red tab on the cheese, you use it to open the wrapping. Doesn't everyone know that? Maddie is stunned Nadia doesn't. Nadia wants it Instagram perfect, but Maddie tells her she manages to do it worse.
Mark walking around and hasn't run into a toddler in 15 minutes. Maddie has to instruct Nadia on how to open the cheese triangle. Maddie eats cheese triangles like a dip with Pringles. Mark takes the cheese and puts it between crisps like a sandwich. Nadia does not approve. On the 4th try she does it perfectly. Maungy Mark and the child is called Samson. Tries to remember the biblical tale of Samson and Delilah. Mentions having"creatives" in the family. He is off to the Photographer's Gallery. Back in the kitchen, Nadia is trying to tell us where to find the pretzel sticks. She says if you are in Sainsbury's, don't look in the biscuit section, don't look in the Sainsbury's sex section. "Oh dear" says a congested Maddie.
She goes on to say it's not in the snacks section, you know where they were? "The Korean section! And they're Polish." Makes sense. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but staff in the grocery store don't know where anything is these days and don't give a flying fig either. You know Mark went to the Photographer's Gallery, right? Well, he got Kiki a book on photography, a book on motherhood and photography, because she studied it you see. Maddie got a disposible camera. Do you know who allegedly he ran into at said shop? Christopher Nolan. Meanwhile, Nadia seems to be eating her project. She tries to stick the pretzel in, but breaks it. Mark is in Chinatown to tell us that when Christopher Nolan opened the door for him, he told him that he really liked "Oppenheimer," which was a lie. He allegedly said thanks. What a dipshit, if this is true. I saw Atom Egoyan, I didn't say woo Atom, loved "The Sweet Hereafter." We exchanged smiles, no bullshit. Edible Xmas trees and Nadia manages to get the stick in "This could work Mads," but she rubs the cheese in the chives instead of pressing it into the chives. Maddie tells her she rubbed the cheese in and that was wrong, she goes ahead and does it a second time. Maddie tells her to dab and voila! Silly bint. She forgot to put it on the biscuit. Does she have cotton wool for a brain? She does her thrid one and breaks the pretzel stick twice. Nadia and Maddie dish on Mark being a right twerp. Nadia says she made a Shepherd's pie last night and Mark said he doesn't like Shepherd's pie. Maddie says he says the same with spaghetti. Maddie says Nadia made two, so Patrick and she had one and Nadia said there is another one if you want it, but Maddie said she will leave that for dad, when he decides he likes Shepherd's pie again. "Ten minutes pass and he comes into my room and says 'Guys, I'm on my third portion of Shepherd's pie, it's really nice innit?'" Nadia says half an hour after that she could smell something. They were sitting on the sofa and she asked him what he has eaten. "The Christmas crisps." These were the Christmas Day bacon crisps.
"He is sooo annoying" says Maddie. Maddie goes on to say he is literally a child, even the stuff he bought them as kids he ate as well. He also doesn't put things where they belong. Nadia mentions to Maddie about her wanting Nutella and pancakes for Christmas breakfast, well she can't find the Nutella jar. "You're kidding !?!" says Maddie. Nadia says it's because Mark unpacked it. Maddi says that earlier this year, whilst they were watching TV, a Nutella advert came on and he said "I don't want Nutella for Xmas this year." Maddie said "Really? Do you now?" Nadia wants to catch him out on camera, with Maddie there "and watch the lies." Maddie asks if she thinks he has eaten it and Nadia shrugs her shoulders. "Either that, or he has hidden it." Maddie says that men can't hide things well, so it will be somewhere obvious. Nadia asks Maddie about the snow village and she says it's very sweet. Nadia thinks it's quite good. Getting back to the cheese trees, Nadia looked at the video and the chick had way more chives than Nadia has. Nadia starts singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas." Nadia accidentally records the two of them talking about Mark and the missing Nutella and crisps. Maddie swears he has eaten the whole jar and Nadia has to interrogate him. Maddie puts her foot down and says if he has eaten it all, he needs to go out to the shops and buy a new jar for Xmas. Nadia is so proud of Maddie "That's my girl." They go on to talk about Mark and his crisp addiction. Maddie says before he comes into the house he has deffo eaten two packets before. "Every time we get into the car it smells of chicken crisps." Maddie says there is one for the trip, one for the drive and one at home. Nadia says she can see what he is up to in the living room in the reflection in the window. I always knew he was a secret eater. Gingerbread men.
Dina treats their house disrespectfully, but what do they expect, the place looks a tit hole most of the time. There is no way I’d have someone stapling my walls and furniture, the walls are going to be f**ked. I’ve noticed that Nadia and Mark don’t seem to be allowed to even step foot in her home. 
Seen a bit of her home once, just the kitchen area and it looked dirty, just like Nadias and Bettys....Dina treats their house disrespectfully, but what do they expect, the place looks a tit hole most of the time. There is no way I’d have someone stapling my walls and furniture, the walls are going to be f**ked. I’ve noticed that Nadia and Mark don’t seem to be allowed to even step foot in her home.
I wonder if Julia's homes dirty too? I wouldn't be surprised it probably is.
Vlogmas #21 "Mark Goes Full Viking in Chalet; Nadia's Parents Respond to the Snow Village & Nutella-Gate." Happy 2024! 
Mother Nature is again fed-up with our tit. Woke-up early to find out Japan had an earthquake and a Tsunami warning. Let's hope the tsunami doesn't make an appearance. 
In other news, we got a dusting of snow on New Year's Eve. 
Thanks El Nino. I see that these Vlogmases keep on coming. I'm girding me loins for this one people. Gingerbread men.
It's Nadia and she informs us that not only has the Nutella gone missing, but Mark has opened the box where she hid the mince pies and ate them! Does he have some kind of scavenger syndrome that orignates from childhood? They are well-off, can't he buy his own supply of mince pies? Maddie adds the crisps and says she is going to make him feel so bad, get him into the shops on Christmas Eve to replace what he ate. Maddie also says they need a safe that only they know the passcode for. "Well I'm not buying anymore mince pies" says Nadia. Dina has come back and seen Nadia's cheese trees and declares them as "grim." "You didn't chop the chives enough." Nadia has a Xmas tree hat on and starts singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," to which Maddie says "Oh God." Nadia is doing another Tik Tok recipe, it's squashed baby new potatoes, baked, topped with brie, finished with cranberry sauce, bacon and chives horses doofurs. Dina brought the potatoes and Nadia says they aren't really baby. You get what you get and you don't get upset. "I was a bit scared and I just said thank you." Boiled potatoes, olive oil, salt and pepper. Mark called and Nadia told him that Maddie has a bone to pick with him over the Nutella and crisps situation. Oh no! Golden child is pissed with daddy. "Whatcha mean? I've been looking for Nutella!" "Bull. tit" says Maddie. Nadia asks Maddie how she knows Mark is lying, she does an impression of his voice getting all high pitch, smile and then break. Nadia feels it is a great thing to be with someone who can't lie. Maddie says her boyfriend always sounds like he is lying. "No he doesn't" says Nadia.
Nadia attempts to squash the potatoes. I don't know what she is using to squash it, but Maddie blames the instrument. The guy in the video used the bottom of narrow jar. Nadia uses the salt container and it works. Nadia blames the potatoes and Dina. I can hear Dina respond by saying get yer own fackin potatoes then, ya lazy caaw. Nadia does an impression of Dina. "Yeah, well, you know what you can do don't ya? You can get your own potatoes." Nadia isn't convinced by this recipe and Maddie says they will be better. Nadia claims she is saying this only because she loves potatoes. And? Potatoes are great and versatile. Even if you mess them up, they are still good, as long as they aren't undercooked. Maddie says the more potato the better. Nadia wanted them dainty, but she figures if she cuts them in half, they will be dainty. More oil and into the oven, but Nadia realizes they don't have any "soddin' chives." A 25 minute wait for the potatoes, means a story about Toffee. Toffee barks and bows, as Nadia tells the story of getting Toffee 11 and a half years ago. They drove to Carlisle and hid her for 3 days as a present for Maddie. Toffee gets all excited and cuddles Maddie's leg.
Nadia has changed her hat and I am chuckling because she now has a Christmas pud on a plate on her head. She is singing "White Christmas." "Don't ever say I'm not Christmassy Mark." We get a nice close-up of her face, as she forgets the words and starts humming. You know that dog ornament Mark got Nadia? She is about to put it on the tree now. She tells us she asked the girls if they wanted to do the tree with her, not expecting a positive response and Kiki said yes. Nadia sings "When the Red, Red Robin..." to the tune of "Sleigh Ride." 
I should be such a critic, she seems to be enjoying herself. She has a wine glass with liquid red wine in it. "Isn't that nuts? I just love our tree! Love it, love it, love it!" She stills has to put the faerie up though. Dancing Santas.
New hat on "Don't say I'm not CHRISTMASSY!" and another round of "We Wish You..." She flips the potatoes, pops some in her mouth. Maddie asks if they were too hot and Nads says no. Maddie then says it has to be due to being a bum. Nadia asks if she has seen that video she sent her yet? No. It shows a guy trying to put something into hot oil alll gingerly and cautious. It goes to his mum who is just flinging stuff in, not afraid of hot splashes. Maddie says that is just like a mum, they're built different. LY. Differently! Lazy English. Maddie says they aren't dainty and that today is a lesson on not to do Instagram videos. Nadia is wiping the oven clean with the potatoes in there, then worries about its interior, when Maddie tells her "It is currently on so..." What a dizzy dame.
Nadia walks into the chalet where Mark has just come in and declares how Christmassy she is. Mark says he didn't say she wasn't Christmassy, but that she was only Christmassy about this (chalet). She goes to show him her earrings and he says he doesn't want to see more of her Christmas. Miserable sod. It is now the confrontation over the Nutella. Nadia says he is claiming he was looking for it as a ruse to cover up his eating all of it. "Noooo." Maddie tells him to just admit it. He has that stupid smile on his face and Nadia says "Don't try to counterintuitive us." Holy awkward English Batman! Mark admits he hasn't done it. "What will you admit?" asks Nadia. Maddie: "What have you done? That you've ate the Xmas crisps?" He admits to the crisps and 3 mince pies. Nadia goes full on angry mother and says she talked to him about those mince pies. "Why did I hide them? I bought 1 box of mince pies and why did I do that?" Mark has that stupid smile on and says "Because," but then just like that, he is chastened and the smile disappears as Nadia presses on. "Because I tell you, you will get to new year and 'Why did I eat all those mince pies?'" Mark claims he found them, whilst hunting for the Nutella. I remember my mum getting stuff for Xmas and telling us not to touch it until she opened it, or there would be holy hell to pay. He treats everything like a joke. He may not be able to lie Nadia, but you have 3 children under that roof. "I found 2 empty pots of bleeping Nutella!" Mark says. Nadia asks who would eat the Nutella and hide it. "THEY WERE EMPTY! IT WAS THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE!" Oh come on now. It's a bummer not finding a full jar of Nutella, but your biggest disappointment? witch please. Maddie mentions them using it for a Xmas recipe. He goes on about wanting the Nutella. Nadia said she ordered it from Waitrose and told him not to unpack the shopping. Nadia says she will let Maddie decide if Mark is lying or not. Maddie thinks he isn't lying, but Nadia says he is admitting to the mince pies to distract from the Nutella.
He admits to the mince pies, because he left the box out and the empty Nutella jars. Who leave empty Nutella jars in the cupboard? They go over the fact that the mince pies are hidden because of Mark inhaling them and complains that Nadia would witch about him eating them. She says if he had any common sense, he would select one and put it on a plate, offer others a mince pie and tea, it would be a lovely idea. He goes teen tantrum mode now. Maddie reminds Mark that 3 or 4 months ago, he said he didn't want Nutella for Xmas. He agrees. "What happened to that?" "I don't know." He sudden gets a look on his face as a light bulb goes off in that noggin of his. He says there is fake Nutella in the cupboard. He opens the upper cupboard and something falls out. He pulls out 2 empty Nutella jars and again, why are they still there? Nadia consults her phone to see when she ordered it. Mark says he looked in the tumble dryer. Maddie asks Nadia if she ordered Nutella. "Actually, I didn't." "Why not? I wanted to nick it!" Nadia says it's a good job she didn't. She says she will get the Nutella, the turkey and the duck, because she didn't get those either. Cutting it a bit fine, isn't she? Maddie says Christmas Eve, Eve shopping.
Nadia takes out the potatoes. Nadia pushes over Mark's bag and asks him what is all this rubbish. "It's my fun bag!" It has Rubicon and other juice concoctions. Maddie brings up him eating the whole Shepherd's pie after saying he didn't like it, the bacon Xmas crisps. "That Shepherd's pie was sooo good, both sets of Xmas crisps have been awful." He does admit to liking the Xmas pudding crisps. Maddie "Ugh." Nadia liked the Waitrose tortilla roast turkey. Back to the potatoes and talk about them not being dainty again. They look like man-size hors d'oeuvres. On goes the brie. Mark wanders in and says they look like crabs. "Why do you always have to, every time I make..." Mark takes a piece of brie off and says it's a scorpio. Scorpion. "It's your face when I mush it up." The pieces of brie she is cutting are huge and Maddie tells her so. Nadia blames Dina. "I'll be brutally honest with you. Dina has done a lot wrong this Xmas and no one has been brave enough to say anything!" 
As my mum would say, he's got more nerve than Dick Tracey that one. Maddie gasps and says he wouldn't say that to her face. "Her whole cabin is upside down!" Maddie says he is scared. Nadia says when Dina comes by in half an hour, she is going to ask him to repeat that, in exactly the same way. "You're going to have to do it on camera as proof" says Maddie. "Listen to his laugh, he's scared already." Mark mentions the footage of Dina coming up the loft. Maddie says yes and it is terrifying. They should to a live stream of Dina torturing Mark, all money to a charity to reform hobosexuals. Footage of Dina on the ladder with her wine. "How did none of that wine spill?" asks Maddie. Mark says she never replaced the tequila. Nadia replaced it. "That was going to be my Xmas tequila." Tequila doesn't affect Nadia much, but gin and tonic and baby Guinness apparently does. Nadia says way, way in the future she will tell us about it. Back in the oven the potatoes go.
CHEESE!! Dancing faerie time. Out come the busted potatoes. The cheese has melted much. Nadia says she could put them back in, but Maddie tells her they can't go through any more. Mark brings out Dina's gift; a Viking horn tankard and Viking cups for her chalet. Umm, it is a Swiss/Austrian chalet and not Scandi. They are made by British Viking lovers. Mark goes to get something he bought himself. Maddie asks why he bought something for himself, but honestly, this way you can never be disappointed. I usually get something for myself, nothing expensive, just something I expect to have at Xmas. I got myself a Terry's chocolate orange on sale for $2.99! Nadia puts the cranberry on the cheese. Mark says when Dina drinks her beer he will be drinking out of a horn. "Mark I think you've got this all wrong. This isn't...Vikings weren't in Switzerland. Vikings have nothing to do with Swiss lodge." CHALET!
"WHAT HAS A VIKING GOT TO DO WITH A SKI LODGE?!" Chalet. Mark says it is vaguely lodgey. I give up. Spat on whether it is Swiss or Austrian now.
Nadia cuts the bacon with scissors and says Maddie is the voice of reason and she needs her to film for her more often. "It looks cute." Nadia says it looks nothing like them. "This is not how I imagined it." Nadia watched the video again and his potatoes were very small. Maddie says this keeps going back to Dina. Mark asks if it is a bit too much wearing a Viking helmet, the ones that go over your eyes and nose. He bought the helmet for himself and the horn. Maddie is astonished by the chainmail on the back of the helmet. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE'VE GONE ON TO VIKINGS!' shouts Nadia. The helmet has a spike on it and Mark proceeds to come towards Nadia with it and she screams MAAARK, tells him to stop mucking about. "Look at my nose, look at my nose!" His nose is squished by this helmet. Nadia tells him to take the helmet off and get EDITING! Crash bang and Nadia stiffles a laugh. "Back to Christmas" says Maddie, as Nadia places her squashed potato thingies onto the sleigh. "Let's face it, these are bleeping terrible." Nadia takes her wilted chive plant, that looks suspiciously like my cat's knackered pot of cat grass, and starts cutting some off with the scissors. "It's a mess, but guys what you've seen here is how not to do it."
Maddie says to learn from mum's mistakes. Maddie tells her to look through her phone's camera, as it looks like she has put cut grass on the hors d'oeuvres. Nadia takes a bite and "SO YUMMY!" and shouts to Mark to come try. "Oh God, what is he going to be wearing this time?" asks Maddie. He shoves the whole thing in his gob and "That's nice." Nadia says they look like 
, but they are nice. Nadia says they are delicious, but do them better than her. Mark asks why she has been cutting grass. 
Dad dancing snowman. Later in the evening, he shows us his village de neige. They are all sitting on the snow with lights strewn about.
Dina is here. She brought Nadia a Xmas bookay, green and white and silver. Dina picked it all out and the florist said she was very clever. "Well, I am an art teacher ya know." Dina tells them that in the florist there was an older gentleman there, ordering flowers for his daughter's funeral, only 54. Dina says that she slipped and smashed the back of her head at work, who said she would be fine, she didn't need to be checked out and 12 hours later she was gone. Any head injury needs looking at. That is just tragic and didn't need to happen. Screw work, they don't care about you. That sounds like a lawsuit. Nadia brings her bouquet, looking to see where it will go and sees Mark's village. "OOh myyy Gaaawwd!" "Oh well. So you went behind our backs, behind our backssss!" says Dina. "It matches my hair." Dina has some pink in her hair. Nadia says he has done the mountains the best. The lights look terrible, but because it is night, he can get away with it. Mark says it isn't finished and that he has new houses. Dina spies the greenhouse and says it is lovely and Nadia says it's beautiful. "D'ya gettem in Dobby's?" Nadia gives him the critique sandwich, by saying he did a great job, she would have cleaned all the tit out from behind, but, she doesn't finish that thought. Nadia tells him the lights go under the snow. Dina asks him about the snow and Nadia tells her he took all the stuffing out of the duvet. "You didn't! You fuckin didn't!" Mark says it looks nice through Dina's curtain. Dina says let's have a look.
"Oh, we've got a yonder" says Nadia. "And then there's ME!" Mark shouts as he peeks through the curtain. Dina tells him to put the curtain back. Nadia says it looks great, but tells Mark to get out of the way, they can't see it. Mark says his village looks like the Alsace-Lorraine region. As if. I guess you could see the Alsace-Lorraine from northern Switzerland with a decent telescope. Dina says the village looks good, since she is short-sighted and sees it through blurry vision. Talk about damning with faint praise! Dina is playing with Mark's boingy Santa. She throws it at the wall, hoping it would stick. Do you remember back in the 80s, those sticky octopuses that crawled down the wall. I remember watching an interview with Robert Smith of The Cure when he was in Toronto and he was fidgeting with one in his hands. Every time I think about those sticky octopuses, it reminds me of Robert Smith. I love "Pictures of You." Where has my youth gone? 
Mark mentions the octopuses. Mark says he has some inflatables for Dina. "Oh no! Not the inflatables!" She asks if it is big enough for her arse and Nadia says even an inflatable will fit her arse. You know that Xmas tree on a log thingy that one of the subs sent them? Mark puts it in the village.
Dina is sitting in the chalet with a wine and chatting to Betty online. "It's got nothing to do with your sensitivity, you don't even like it" says Betty in regards to Mark's filming of the chalet. "Nanny Di says it's magical" replies Dina. Insert Di saying magical. Mark says not to go there. Betty mentions it looks good how it extends towards the bathroom. Nadia comes in with her squashed potatoes and shows Betty. They chat on the bench in the chalet. Mark has the big spool of extension cord out. He makes noise and Dina and Nads yell at him. He is peeping through the curtains again. "Aw for fucks's sake! Mark stop it!" Dina tells Betty that Mark keeps stepping on bubble wrap. Betty says he is going to break his neck in a minute. Nadia says "With any bloody luck!" Nadia asks Betty if she wants her to sing. Betty says oh no and then Christ when she breaks out in "Silent Night." Mark opens the curtains and yells"Will you shut up?" Dina comes to see the progress of the village. Nadia comes with Betty and Nadia starts up "Silent Night." Betty shouts "Not again!" Betty asks about the glow and Nadia tells her its the lights. Dina tells Nads to show Betty the greenhouse. "It would never go in my village." Nadia says she has never seen Teddy less impressed. Nadia sees the sub present in the village and she says it isn't going there. Mark insists it was for him. More blah, blah about the village. Mark gives Dina a present, it is a black ski boot. Dina loves it, but Nadia says it's hideous. Betty approves of it. He gives her the Viking Flagan. Dina's eyes widen and she says "Where the bleeping hell did you get that?" "It's quite lovely. I don't know what I'm going to put in it." Mark comes out in his helmet and gives her the tumblers. Too lazy to wrap them. "The 22% Scandinavian in me likes these." Mark shows Teddy and Betty his horn. Nadia reiterates that Vikings weren't in Switzerland. Dina tells Betty that Nadia and Mark don't know the difference between Nordic and Alpine. Betty asks if they smell. Dina says of wood. Nadia says the horn mug makes her think of rhino penis. Mark says it doesn't look anything like a penis. "I don't know, it just looks penile." Mark leaves and Nadia tells Dina her face was a picture. Aww crap! The screen tells us NOT TO WORRY, THERE IS MORE TO COME. Laters! 
Mother Nature is again fed-up with our tit. Woke-up early to find out Japan had an earthquake and a Tsunami warning. Let's hope the tsunami doesn't make an appearance. In other news, we got a dusting of snow on New Year's Eve. Thanks El Nino. I see that these Vlogmases keep on coming. I'm girding me loins for this one people. Gingerbread men.It's Nadia and she informs us that not only has the Nutella gone missing, but Mark has opened the box where she hid the mince pies and ate them! Does he have some kind of scavenger syndrome that orignates from childhood? They are well-off, can't he buy his own supply of mince pies? Maddie adds the crisps and says she is going to make him feel so bad, get him into the shops on Christmas Eve to replace what he ate. Maddie also says they need a safe that only they know the passcode for. "Well I'm not buying anymore mince pies" says Nadia. Dina has come back and seen Nadia's cheese trees and declares them as "grim."
"You didn't chop the chives enough." Nadia has a Xmas tree hat on and starts singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," to which Maddie says "Oh God." Nadia is doing another Tik Tok recipe, it's squashed baby new potatoes, baked, topped with brie, finished with cranberry sauce, bacon and chives horses doofurs. Dina brought the potatoes and Nadia says they aren't really baby. You get what you get and you don't get upset. "I was a bit scared and I just said thank you." Boiled potatoes, olive oil, salt and pepper. Mark called and Nadia told him that Maddie has a bone to pick with him over the Nutella and crisps situation. Oh no! Golden child is pissed with daddy. "Whatcha mean? I've been looking for Nutella!" "Bull. tit" says Maddie. Nadia asks Maddie how she knows Mark is lying, she does an impression of his voice getting all high pitch, smile and then break. Nadia feels it is a great thing to be with someone who can't lie. Maddie says her boyfriend always sounds like he is lying. "No he doesn't" says Nadia. Nadia attempts to squash the potatoes. I don't know what she is using to squash it, but Maddie blames the instrument. The guy in the video used the bottom of narrow jar. Nadia uses the salt container and it works. Nadia blames the potatoes and Dina. I can hear Dina respond by saying get yer own fackin potatoes then, ya lazy caaw. Nadia does an impression of Dina. "Yeah, well, you know what you can do don't ya? You can get your own potatoes." Nadia isn't convinced by this recipe and Maddie says they will be better. Nadia claims she is saying this only because she loves potatoes. And? Potatoes are great and versatile. Even if you mess them up, they are still good, as long as they aren't undercooked. Maddie says the more potato the better. Nadia wanted them dainty, but she figures if she cuts them in half, they will be dainty. More oil and into the oven, but Nadia realizes they don't have any "soddin' chives." A 25 minute wait for the potatoes, means a story about Toffee. Toffee barks and bows, as Nadia tells the story of getting Toffee 11 and a half years ago. They drove to Carlisle and hid her for 3 days as a present for Maddie. Toffee gets all excited and cuddles Maddie's leg.
Nadia has changed her hat and I am chuckling because she now has a Christmas pud on a plate on her head.
She is singing "White Christmas." "Don't ever say I'm not Christmassy Mark." We get a nice close-up of her face, as she forgets the words and starts humming. You know that dog ornament Mark got Nadia? She is about to put it on the tree now. She tells us she asked the girls if they wanted to do the tree with her, not expecting a positive response and Kiki said yes. Nadia sings "When the Red, Red Robin..." to the tune of "Sleigh Ride." I should be such a critic, she seems to be enjoying herself. She has a wine glass with liquid red wine in it. "Isn't that nuts? I just love our tree! Love it, love it, love it!" She stills has to put the faerie up though. Dancing Santas.New hat on "Don't say I'm not CHRISTMASSY!" and another round of "We Wish You..." She flips the potatoes, pops some in her mouth. Maddie asks if they were too hot and Nads says no. Maddie then says it has to be due to being a bum. Nadia asks if she has seen that video she sent her yet? No. It shows a guy trying to put something into hot oil alll gingerly and cautious. It goes to his mum who is just flinging stuff in, not afraid of hot splashes. Maddie says that is just like a mum, they're built different. LY. Differently! Lazy English.
Maddie says they aren't dainty and that today is a lesson on not to do Instagram videos. Nadia is wiping the oven clean with the potatoes in there, then worries about its interior, when Maddie tells her "It is currently on so..." What a dizzy dame. Nadia walks into the chalet where Mark has just come in and declares how Christmassy she is. Mark says he didn't say she wasn't Christmassy, but that she was only Christmassy about this (chalet). She goes to show him her earrings and he says he doesn't want to see more of her Christmas. Miserable sod. It is now the confrontation over the Nutella. Nadia says he is claiming he was looking for it as a ruse to cover up his eating all of it. "Noooo." Maddie tells him to just admit it. He has that stupid smile on his face and Nadia says "Don't try to counterintuitive us." Holy awkward English Batman! Mark admits he hasn't done it. "What will you admit?" asks Nadia. Maddie: "What have you done? That you've ate the Xmas crisps?" He admits to the crisps and 3 mince pies. Nadia goes full on angry mother and says she talked to him about those mince pies. "Why did I hide them? I bought 1 box of mince pies and why did I do that?" Mark has that stupid smile on and says "Because," but then just like that, he is chastened and the smile disappears as Nadia presses on. "Because I tell you, you will get to new year and 'Why did I eat all those mince pies?'" Mark claims he found them, whilst hunting for the Nutella. I remember my mum getting stuff for Xmas and telling us not to touch it until she opened it, or there would be holy hell to pay. He treats everything like a joke. He may not be able to lie Nadia, but you have 3 children under that roof. "I found 2 empty pots of bleeping Nutella!" Mark says. Nadia asks who would eat the Nutella and hide it. "THEY WERE EMPTY! IT WAS THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE!" Oh come on now. It's a bummer not finding a full jar of Nutella, but your biggest disappointment? witch please. Maddie mentions them using it for a Xmas recipe. He goes on about wanting the Nutella. Nadia said she ordered it from Waitrose and told him not to unpack the shopping. Nadia says she will let Maddie decide if Mark is lying or not. Maddie thinks he isn't lying, but Nadia says he is admitting to the mince pies to distract from the Nutella.
He admits to the mince pies, because he left the box out and the empty Nutella jars. Who leave empty Nutella jars in the cupboard? They go over the fact that the mince pies are hidden because of Mark inhaling them and complains that Nadia would witch about him eating them. She says if he had any common sense, he would select one and put it on a plate, offer others a mince pie and tea, it would be a lovely idea. He goes teen tantrum mode now. Maddie reminds Mark that 3 or 4 months ago, he said he didn't want Nutella for Xmas. He agrees. "What happened to that?" "I don't know." He sudden gets a look on his face as a light bulb goes off in that noggin of his. He says there is fake Nutella in the cupboard. He opens the upper cupboard and something falls out. He pulls out 2 empty Nutella jars and again, why are they still there? Nadia consults her phone to see when she ordered it. Mark says he looked in the tumble dryer. Maddie asks Nadia if she ordered Nutella. "Actually, I didn't." "Why not? I wanted to nick it!" Nadia says it's a good job she didn't. She says she will get the Nutella, the turkey and the duck, because she didn't get those either. Cutting it a bit fine, isn't she? Maddie says Christmas Eve, Eve shopping.
Nadia takes out the potatoes. Nadia pushes over Mark's bag and asks him what is all this rubbish. "It's my fun bag!" It has Rubicon and other juice concoctions. Maddie brings up him eating the whole Shepherd's pie after saying he didn't like it, the bacon Xmas crisps. "That Shepherd's pie was sooo good, both sets of Xmas crisps have been awful." He does admit to liking the Xmas pudding crisps. Maddie "Ugh." Nadia liked the Waitrose tortilla roast turkey. Back to the potatoes and talk about them not being dainty again. They look like man-size hors d'oeuvres. On goes the brie. Mark wanders in and says they look like crabs. "Why do you always have to, every time I make..." Mark takes a piece of brie off and says it's a scorpio. Scorpion.
"It's your face when I mush it up." The pieces of brie she is cutting are huge and Maddie tells her so. Nadia blames Dina. "I'll be brutally honest with you. Dina has done a lot wrong this Xmas and no one has been brave enough to say anything!" As my mum would say, he's got more nerve than Dick Tracey that one. Maddie gasps and says he wouldn't say that to her face. "Her whole cabin is upside down!" Maddie says he is scared. Nadia says when Dina comes by in half an hour, she is going to ask him to repeat that, in exactly the same way. "You're going to have to do it on camera as proof" says Maddie. "Listen to his laugh, he's scared already." Mark mentions the footage of Dina coming up the loft. Maddie says yes and it is terrifying. They should to a live stream of Dina torturing Mark, all money to a charity to reform hobosexuals. Footage of Dina on the ladder with her wine. "How did none of that wine spill?" asks Maddie. Mark says she never replaced the tequila. Nadia replaced it. "That was going to be my Xmas tequila." Tequila doesn't affect Nadia much, but gin and tonic and baby Guinness apparently does. Nadia says way, way in the future she will tell us about it. Back in the oven the potatoes go.CHEESE!! Dancing faerie time. Out come the busted potatoes. The cheese has melted much. Nadia says she could put them back in, but Maddie tells her they can't go through any more. Mark brings out Dina's gift; a Viking horn tankard and Viking cups for her chalet. Umm, it is a Swiss/Austrian chalet and not Scandi. They are made by British Viking lovers. Mark goes to get something he bought himself. Maddie asks why he bought something for himself, but honestly, this way you can never be disappointed. I usually get something for myself, nothing expensive, just something I expect to have at Xmas. I got myself a Terry's chocolate orange on sale for $2.99! Nadia puts the cranberry on the cheese. Mark says when Dina drinks her beer he will be drinking out of a horn. "Mark I think you've got this all wrong. This isn't...Vikings weren't in Switzerland. Vikings have nothing to do with Swiss lodge." CHALET!
"WHAT HAS A VIKING GOT TO DO WITH A SKI LODGE?!" Chalet.
Mark says it is vaguely lodgey. I give up. Spat on whether it is Swiss or Austrian now. Nadia cuts the bacon with scissors and says Maddie is the voice of reason and she needs her to film for her more often. "It looks cute." Nadia says it looks nothing like them. "This is not how I imagined it." Nadia watched the video again and his potatoes were very small. Maddie says this keeps going back to Dina. Mark asks if it is a bit too much wearing a Viking helmet, the ones that go over your eyes and nose. He bought the helmet for himself and the horn. Maddie is astonished by the chainmail on the back of the helmet. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE'VE GONE ON TO VIKINGS!' shouts Nadia. The helmet has a spike on it and Mark proceeds to come towards Nadia with it and she screams MAAARK, tells him to stop mucking about. "Look at my nose, look at my nose!" His nose is squished by this helmet. Nadia tells him to take the helmet off and get EDITING! Crash bang and Nadia stiffles a laugh. "Back to Christmas" says Maddie, as Nadia places her squashed potato thingies onto the sleigh. "Let's face it, these are bleeping terrible." Nadia takes her wilted chive plant, that looks suspiciously like my cat's knackered pot of cat grass, and starts cutting some off with the scissors. "It's a mess, but guys what you've seen here is how not to do it."
Maddie says to learn from mum's mistakes. Maddie tells her to look through her phone's camera, as it looks like she has put cut grass on the hors d'oeuvres. Nadia takes a bite and "SO YUMMY!" and shouts to Mark to come try. "Oh God, what is he going to be wearing this time?" asks Maddie. He shoves the whole thing in his gob and "That's nice." Nadia says they look like , but they are nice. Nadia says they are delicious, but do them better than her. Mark asks why she has been cutting grass. Dad dancing snowman. Later in the evening, he shows us his village de neige. They are all sitting on the snow with lights strewn about.
Dina is here. She brought Nadia a Xmas bookay, green and white and silver. Dina picked it all out and the florist said she was very clever. "Well, I am an art teacher ya know." Dina tells them that in the florist there was an older gentleman there, ordering flowers for his daughter's funeral, only 54. Dina says that she slipped and smashed the back of her head at work, who said she would be fine, she didn't need to be checked out and 12 hours later she was gone. Any head injury needs looking at. That is just tragic and didn't need to happen. Screw work, they don't care about you. That sounds like a lawsuit. Nadia brings her bouquet, looking to see where it will go and sees Mark's village. "OOh myyy Gaaawwd!" "Oh well. So you went behind our backs, behind our backssss!" says Dina. "It matches my hair." Dina has some pink in her hair. Nadia says he has done the mountains the best. The lights look terrible, but because it is night, he can get away with it. Mark says it isn't finished and that he has new houses. Dina spies the greenhouse and says it is lovely and Nadia says it's beautiful. "D'ya gettem in Dobby's?" Nadia gives him the critique sandwich, by saying he did a great job, she would have cleaned all the tit out from behind, but, she doesn't finish that thought. Nadia tells him the lights go under the snow. Dina asks him about the snow and Nadia tells her he took all the stuffing out of the duvet. "You didn't! You fuckin didn't!" Mark says it looks nice through Dina's curtain. Dina says let's have a look."Oh, we've got a yonder" says Nadia. "And then there's ME!" Mark shouts as he peeks through the curtain. Dina tells him to put the curtain back. Nadia says it looks great, but tells Mark to get out of the way, they can't see it. Mark says his village looks like the Alsace-Lorraine region. As if. I guess you could see the Alsace-Lorraine from northern Switzerland with a decent telescope. Dina says the village looks good, since she is short-sighted and sees it through blurry vision. Talk about damning with faint praise!
Dina is playing with Mark's boingy Santa. She throws it at the wall, hoping it would stick. Do you remember back in the 80s, those sticky octopuses that crawled down the wall. I remember watching an interview with Robert Smith of The Cure when he was in Toronto and he was fidgeting with one in his hands. Every time I think about those sticky octopuses, it reminds me of Robert Smith. I love "Pictures of You." Where has my youth gone? Mark mentions the octopuses. Mark says he has some inflatables for Dina. "Oh no! Not the inflatables!" She asks if it is big enough for her arse and Nadia says even an inflatable will fit her arse. You know that Xmas tree on a log thingy that one of the subs sent them? Mark puts it in the village. Dina is sitting in the chalet with a wine and chatting to Betty online. "It's got nothing to do with your sensitivity, you don't even like it" says Betty in regards to Mark's filming of the chalet. "Nanny Di says it's magical" replies Dina. Insert Di saying magical. Mark says not to go there. Betty mentions it looks good how it extends towards the bathroom. Nadia comes in with her squashed potatoes and shows Betty. They chat on the bench in the chalet. Mark has the big spool of extension cord out. He makes noise and Dina and Nads yell at him. He is peeping through the curtains again. "Aw for fucks's sake! Mark stop it!" Dina tells Betty that Mark keeps stepping on bubble wrap. Betty says he is going to break his neck in a minute. Nadia says "With any bloody luck!" Nadia asks Betty if she wants her to sing. Betty says oh no and then Christ when she breaks out in "Silent Night."
Mark opens the curtains and yells"Will you shut up?" Dina comes to see the progress of the village. Nadia comes with Betty and Nadia starts up "Silent Night." Betty shouts "Not again!" Betty asks about the glow and Nadia tells her its the lights. Dina tells Nads to show Betty the greenhouse. "It would never go in my village." Nadia says she has never seen Teddy less impressed. Nadia sees the sub present in the village and she says it isn't going there. Mark insists it was for him. More blah, blah about the village. Mark gives Dina a present, it is a black ski boot. Dina loves it, but Nadia says it's hideous. Betty approves of it. He gives her the Viking Flagan. Dina's eyes widen and she says "Where the bleeping hell did you get that?" "It's quite lovely. I don't know what I'm going to put in it." Mark comes out in his helmet and gives her the tumblers. Too lazy to wrap them. "The 22% Scandinavian in me likes these." Mark shows Teddy and Betty his horn. Nadia reiterates that Vikings weren't in Switzerland. Dina tells Betty that Nadia and Mark don't know the difference between Nordic and Alpine. Betty asks if they smell. Dina says of wood. Nadia says the horn mug makes her think of rhino penis. Mark says it doesn't look anything like a penis. "I don't know, it just looks penile." Mark leaves and Nadia tells Dina her face was a picture. Aww crap! The screen tells us NOT TO WORRY, THERE IS MORE TO COME. Laters! I think Nadias in control of the purse strings as she's the only breadwinner.
Mark probably gets spending- pocket money only, and it didn't stretch enough to buy more mince pies.
Mark probably gets spending- pocket money only, and it didn't stretch enough to buy more mince pies.
I find that intriguing as I've always got the impression he manages the budget. She's told him a few times to “stop telling me what I can buy with my money”, and in the early vlogs she used to go on at him to put the heating on and said he wouldn’t show her how to do it herself! He also has the Doghouse Media in his name and seems to be in charge of all the tax returns.
The car is probably in his name too. He certainly seems to have himself covered.
If he is, it would be funny if he ran away with a 26 year old
Nadia Sawalha: 'I was broke before I joined EastEnders' (telegraph.co.uk)
Apologies for flagging up this Telegraph article again (*copied below, as it's now behind a paywall) Mark Adderley does all of Nadia Sawalha's banking as the little woman is "terrible with money". However, from what I've seen (and more recently learned through bitterntwisted's labour) Mark Adderley has 'invested' more of Nadia's money in plastic sh*te from Amazon in the last six weeks than he's earned in the past ten years. To add insult to injury, artisan helmets and horns fashioned by British Viking lovers don't scream Poundland bargain to me.
I have come to the conclusion that Mark Adderley is as bad with money as he is at operating a camera.
*
Nadia Sawalha: 'I was broke before I joined EastEnders'
Fame and fortune: The soap gave Nadia Sawalha her big break – but she now makes more from her writing
By Angela Wintle02 November 2014 • 08:33 am
Nadia Sawalha: 'My cookery books have earned me a lot'
- Tweet Nadia at Twitter.com/@nadiasawalha
How did your childhood experience influence your attitude to money?
My dad [actor Nadim Sawalha] is a Bedouin and grew up in the Jordanian desert, so he was incredibly frugal when I was a kid. His mantra was: “Anything you can’t carry in one bag, you don’t need.”
Similarly, mum grew up during postwar austerity so everything she cooked was homemade. She also believed that junk food was expensive, as well as bad for you, so she’d say: “Fish fingers cost the same per pound as smoked salmon.”
I don’t know whether that was true, but we never got fish fingers. Perhaps as an act of unconscious rebellion, I am terrible with money. My sisters, Dina and Julia, have never been in debt, but if it wasn’t for my husband, Mark [Adderley] – who has an awful fear of poverty – I would be living in the gutter. [Gaslighted much? Why does this remind me of that episode of LW when Nadia Sawalha shared, to everyone's horror, that Mark Adderley had convinced her pensions were too complicated?
#MrSpain]What was your very first job?
When I left school at 16 I worked as a waitress in Pizza Hut. One day I was asked to stand in for the children’s entertainer and had to dress up as a giant Care Bear. Being the actress I am, I thought the only way to deal with the embarrassment was to throw myself into it 100pc.
But when I tried to run into the restaurant my head was wider than the door and I had to edge in sideways. All the kids laughed their heads off and I became a massive hit. My wage wasn’t very high, but I had a knack of attracting large tips.
My first really well-paid job was playing Lynda Bellingham’s son’s girlfriend in the Oxo adverts. They paid me £20,000 simply not to appear in any other ads.
Was there ever a time when you worried how you would pay the bills?
My early days as an actress were tough. I did a lot of my first jobs – performances at the Edinburgh festival and children’s theatre tours – just to get a foot in the door. They were based on a profit-share principle and, as there was never any profit, there wasn’t any share.
But I was very lucky because Dad converted his garage into two bedsits, so my younger sister and I stayed there. My parents supported us until we were financially independent, whereas many of my friends had to leave home when they turned 18.
Was there an obvious financial turning point in your career?
Without a doubt, it was landing the part of Annie Palmer in EastEnders in 1997. I was so broke when I auditioned that I thought I’d have to give up acting if I didn’t get the job.
I was paid around £1,000 per episode, plus a 90pc repeat fee when it was reshown the following Sunday. I remember the wardrobe man saying that most newcomers to the soap put on a stone in weight in the first six months because they could suddenly afford to eat and drink.
Do you have a strong work ethic?
Yes. I work 24/7. Mark and I run an independent television production company called Doghouse Media, which specialises in factual programmes like Nigel Slater’s Great British Biscuit. It’s tough because it’s a competitive business.
I also appear twice-weekly as a panellist on ITV’s Loose Women and present a cookery slot on Lorraine every Monday. Then there’s my writing – I pen weekly food columns for a national newspaper and magazine and produce a cookery book once a year. On top of that, I’ve recently returned to acting and will be appearing in a new series of the ITV sitcom Benidorm in January.
Are you a spender or saver?
A spender. I’ve never saved in my life. My biggest spend is taking my whole family on a luxury holiday every year. We pay for the flights, the villa – everything. [Don't we all, Love, if we want to go on holiday. It ain't no birth right.] Last year we went to Turkey and the year before to Los Angeles.
Although I’m a workaholic, I see these as precious times. My food bills are also enormous because I cook for friends or family at least three times a week. Similarly, Mark and I spend a fortune on theatre and dance tickets. I’m too embarrassed to say how much.
What has been your most extravagant buy?
It’s my Mark Wilkinson kitchen, which cost around £30,000. It has earned me a lot of my living because it aids my food writing, but I’ve always felt guilty about it because it was just for me.
And your worst buy?
I once bought a pair of jeans for £15 with a store card in Miss Selfridge, but ended up paying £750 because I ignored the bill and it kept mounting up. In the end I was served with a court judgment which affected my credit rating for years. I couldn’t even open a bank account. I was in EastEnders at the time and the story was picked up by the newspapers. I was so shocked. [Methinks Mark Adderley with his backlog of child support payments and willing drunken cocktail sausage saw
How much was your current home when you bought it and what’s it worth now?
It cost about £200,000. It’s a detached Thirties property near Crystal Palace, south London. My parents talked me into buying it while I was working on EastEnders 20 years ago because it was such a bargain. I’m so glad I heeded their advice. We’ve built a two-bedroom apartment on the side and the whole house must be worth about £900,000 now.
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learnt about money?
That VAT is never yours. Right at the beginning of my career I was appalled when I discovered I had to give all this money back. Nowadays all my VAT – and the money I pay in income tax and agent’s fees – goes into a separate bank account and never reaches me. [I wonder if she has evidence of M keeping this up ...?] Actors are notoriously bad with money; it’s why so many of us go bankrupt.
What has been your best-paid job?
Writing my cookery books. I’ve always loved cooking, but I only thought of it as a hobby. Then I won Celebrity MasterChef in 2007, and Mark suggested I write a cookery book. I’ve now written four and they’ve done really well and earned me a lot of money.
Have you ever done anything for money that you’ve regretted?
Competing in the ITV show Dancing on Ice in 2011. When I attended the audition and scooted around like a magical princess, I thought it would be great. But I hadn’t factored in the hours of rehearsals in a miserable ice rink or the injuries.
When I had a painful fall on the second day of rehearsals I realised I’d made a terrible mistake and I was so relieved to be voted off in the first week. I was supposed to return for the final to earn the rest of my fee, but I waived it because I couldn't face going back. I’d much rather do Strictly Come Dancing.
Do you bank online?
Yes, although Mark does our banking. We’ve never had any problems with internet security, but our credit card has been cloned a couple of times. On one occasion our bank even asked if I was doing a lot of gambling because someone had been placing a lot of bets online with my card details.
The bank repaid the money in full.Does money make you happy?
I’m a naturally happy person, but I love the freedom money affords. When my youngest daughter complained that she was unhappy at school, I was able to arrange for home schooling. It’s also lovely being able to afford taxis, having traipsed around on buses when I was a cash-strapped actor.
How do you tip?
Very generously. I’ve been a waitress and I know those tips are important. When we eat out we always make a point of asking the waiter or waitress to wink once if the money goes to the restaurant and twice if it goes to them, because they’re not allowed to say. It makes me so cross when restaurants don’t pass the money on to their staff.
What are your financial priorities for the next five years?
We plan to buy a second property. We don’t pay into a pension because we’ve heard so many stories about them going wrong, so we intend to invest in a house outside London and let it out. [This interview is from 2014. Nadia is now of almost pensionable age and it looks like she'll be supporting four adults on her now and again LW earnings, rather than dining out on some poor millennial's rent money.]
Do thoughts of retirement ever enter your head?
No. Even if I’m not wanted on television, I hope to continue writing books. I’ll always carry on working in some capacity. If you work in the arts, work is just an extension of your passions.
I originally posted this back in September 2020, when Mark Adderley was talking of selling his sweaty clothes online and they were moaning about the cost of entering a child for a GCSE examination (under £100, so cheaper than a post cinema trip to 5 Guys).
Hardly the behaviour of the financially secure. To be honest, I can't believe Nadia Sawalha was prepared to disclose this much about her finances to a national newspaper in order to promote 'Fabulous Family Food’ by
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"Does money make you happy?
I’m a naturally happy person, but I love the freedom money affords. When my youngest daughter complained that she was unhappy at school, I was able to arrange for home schooling. It’s also lovely being able to afford taxis, having traipsed around on buses when I was a cash-strapped actor"
I don't for one minute think she is a naturally happy person going by how many times she drinks herself into oblivion. Interesting how she says " I was able TO ARRANGE for home schooling" proving once again Marks book was bs.
Yes @missmickey
"I have come to the conclusion that Mark Adderley is as bad with money as he is at operating a camera. ."
My thoughts are if this manchild can't be trusted with mince pies and Nutella, how on earth can he be trusted with NADIA’S money.
I worry that she's in for a shock, and in for having to work (doing tit promotions) until she drops.
Or are they relying on the prospect of inheritance money
.
I’m a naturally happy person, but I love the freedom money affords. When my youngest daughter complained that she was unhappy at school, I was able to arrange for home schooling. It’s also lovely being able to afford taxis, having traipsed around on buses when I was a cash-strapped actor"
I don't for one minute think she is a naturally happy person going by how many times she drinks herself into oblivion. Interesting how she says " I was able TO ARRANGE for home schooling" proving once again Marks book was bs.
Yes @missmickey
"I have come to the conclusion that Mark Adderley is as bad with money as he is at operating a camera. ."
My thoughts are if this manchild can't be trusted with mince pies and Nutella, how on earth can he be trusted with NADIA’S money.
I worry that she's in for a shock, and in for having to work (doing tit promotions) until she drops.
Or are they relying on the prospect of inheritance money
.How could anyone be happy with a useless sponger walking in your shadow every turn you make. I’d scream with frustration. It be different if he did anything but hes just a mouth piece, all talk and hugely dependan. The roars out of him non stop cause a beach of the tree pricked him. Pure utter shite drama. Spending all Christmas putting together a snow village, get a job and wash yourself and have some pride for your children. Anyone who hasn’t a single friend apart from latching on to his wives is weird and creepy.
Yes but a house full of mail order tat, " personality" tees,hats and toys to keep the manchild happy and housebound.
I feel a “stinking thinking” book on the horizon. Under the guise that they are helping people.
Anything that’s current to make a few quid, because the Mister is unemployed and expensive to keep .
Anything that’s current to make a few quid, because the Mister is unemployed and expensive to keep .
What % of the property do they own, do Dina and Julia own part of it all ready ? Might have a shock if parents have willed it without a 3 way split (which someone I know missed out sons and daughters and left it to grandchildren without anyone knowing).
Why does she keep doing this? Its repetitive and boring. It isn't sexy, it isn't funny and it isn't empowering. It is just a very sad attempt to get into the papers.
www.dailymail.co.uk
Loose Women's Nadia Sawalha, 59, shows off her 'real body'
Using a voice over of Kim Kardashian, Nadia, 59, lip synced: 'I love a high-waisted thong, so I wanted to show you guys in the bone colour how amazing this thong is.'
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Shows off her real body. It's a very ugly body which should be kept under wraps not spread across the daily newspaper, she just loves acting like a woman to get attention.
. It's a very ugly body which should be kept under wraps not spread across the daily newspaper, she just loves acting like a woman to get attention.She could have done with a "tidy up" before they got the camera out.Shows off her real body
Just noticed her nipples - the left one (her right) is almost under her arm and looks like 2 on the other side.- Status