Coffee Moaning and it is Sunday. Hope your weekend has been going well. Title for today is"Prince Andrew Case Could Fail, CRISP SHORTAGE, TV Guilty Pleasures & SUNDAY ROASTS." I am bracing myself for the tedium.
"Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me slowly, hit me quick" says Nads.
Don't mind if I do.
"Have you heard his son singing? Ian Drury son? We love him!" Mark tells us the book he is going to be reviewing is the son's biography of Ian Drury. Good Morning and roll call. They are doing the roll call Gregorian chant style. Did you know that Mark's ringtone for Nanny Di is Darth Vader saying I am your father? Now you do. HIT THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND THE NOTIFICATION BELL. Newbie spiel. Talk of nostalgia and Nads says she is getting more nostalgic and says it is good for the memory. Mark pontificates on nostalgia "What's the point of living your life if you don't revisit it?" (Well, it's one the to think of the past, but if you just visit and not do some self-examination like in therapy, you end up just living there.) Nadia fluffs her hair. Nads says she knows one person who is particularly nostalgic and it holds her back. "Nothing was as good as the past."
Who is that? Linda or Gloria? 
Someone suggests thoughts for those in Afghanistan and Nads says that she and Mark are very much engaged in it, what with them listening to LBC. If you thought they were sending care packages or adopting orphans, no dice. The Tedster says he can't listen to the radio, doesn't like feeling powerless.
We can't even fix tit on our own doorstep, yet gov'ts think they can waltz into a foreign country and Bob's your uncle. Tracey asks what happened and I ask where is the rock she lives under? Nads tells us about stories of young women being forced into marriage.
If I was in charge of the withdrawal, every female would have access to a gun and know how to use it. Just my 2 cents. Nads tells us that someone from the select committee, that the Biden and Boris have been focusing in on Russia and China, but "Afghanistan is the geographical real estate" they need to deal with Russia and China. MeTube says the West that militias have quickly taken over. Nads says the West doesn't understand patience. The guy from the select committe said "this is going to make Saddam Hussein look like a walk in the park."
I never thought I would see the day when the Cold War looked like a simpler time.
Prince Andrew. If he isn't served papers by December 7th, the case Virginia Roberts Giuffre (Nads called her Jennifer) could collapse. Nadia says the whole idea of serving papers is bonkers. Mark goes on about how this is part of a new New York State law on sex crimes not having a statute of limitations and it is a child sex offense. (I know the legal age is 18, but is 17 still considered a child?) Mark talks about Weinstein's lawyers getting 2 counts thrown out because of statute of limitations in California (Of course California has limitations, the place is rife with sex offenders.) Nads scrunches her hair and wants to move on to something lighter.
CRISP SHORTAGE. Nads says it has to do with Brexit. Sally said this could be good news, what with waistlines. When Mark was 15, Nanny Di's gf's family owned a newsagent and they had a card for the cash and carry. They were never the best brands and Di would put the box on top of the cupboard. There would be 40-50 packets in a box and of course, Mark ate them all in a week.
Boys. Nads misses getting crisps out of a box. Question: Who can live without crisps? I can for more than half a year, I just eat popcorn or tortilla chips.
Chloe laments the lack of Discos. Nads says they had a slight stale flavour to them. Most of the chatters say now. Mark likes a stale Wotsit, because it tastes like polystyrene.
"You said there was not such thin as an extinct crisp" Nads mentions the Discos and Golden Wonder. "Relaunched are NOT the same." Paul says Tudor Crisps. (I miss Hostess and Humpty Dumpty) Pete says you can make your own. Mark says why doesn't Nads do that. Mark talks about being at a play centre, drinking orange squash and for an extra 4p you could get 2 packets of crisps. Mark would get the prawn cocktail, take it back to the table and smash the bag.
Why? Who wants to eat crumbs? 
"We would drink the crisps." MeTube got a limited edition Golden Wonder. The salt shaker crisps and its limitations. Scampi fries. Nads wants to end the crisps chat as she is getting hungry. Dickson says do you remember taking the crisp bag, putting it on the bunsen burner making a badge out of it?
What? THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION TO ME!!!! 
They think of doing it, but then Nads says they will get accused of burning houses down, injurying children, health and safety. "There's no fun anymore... Everything we do, we have to check 5 million times." Nads rolls her eyes. Mark asks what is wrong with everyone?
TV guilty pleasures. Nadia has a barometer in which these are the shows that if the door went, you turn it over to Newsnight. "Mark was very snooty about the shows I watch."
Ah yes, Mr. Almost Ph.D. Nads says he has crossed over to the dark side and he responds with "marriage is about give and take." Mark says he can't cope with them only dropping 1 episode of Below Deck Mediterranean a week. (That's probably because it is in its first run over here duh.) Nadia tries to stifle a yawn. Mark asks if we are keeping her up. "Why do you have to be so rude?" Before they can get into an almighty row, Nads remembers something her dad told her. "The other day Nadia, I was in the garden with the decorator and Mark screamed. A terrible OOOHH NOOOOO! I think maybe you should close the door maybe." Mark asks what did he say. Nads said to Teddy it was probably CM or something, but he didn't believe her. Mark asks if he thinks he shouted at her. Nads said no, Teddy thought he injured himself or something. Mark doesn't think he shouted this week and Nads asks him how he would now if he did or didn't. Betty has told Nads they can hear everything and so can the rest of the neighbourhood. Faith brings up the topic of airdrying, so expect that on tomorrow's CM.
Palm 93 says Below Deck is full of bullies.
I concur and will add the mentally unstable. 
Mark says if it is full of bullies, then every reality show is full of them.
Nads says some of them are. Someone mentions Home and Away. (I used to watch that back in the 90s. Australian soaps don't seem to last on TV in Canada.) Talk about Neighbours. (I hate that show and that dumb theme song.
) Nads says they were talking about shows they like and one of the producers said Neighbours. Talk about another one Sons and Daughters and another annoying theme tune. Nads said she would go off sick so she could watch it.
Life in the fast lane eh? Jennifer says on Bonfire Night lighting the bonfire, setting off the fireworks and rushing in to watch the Burns Unit at 8 p.m. Chat now moves to PIF and the fascination with them. (I went through a period of watching loads of these on YouTube before I went to bed. Smart, I know.
) Mark has just figured out his guilty pleasure: The Antiques Roadshow. Nads says that isn't embarassing. Mark says when he puts it on Nads declares "This is
bleeping boring!" She says there is something soothing about it. Nadia's list of embarassing shows she watches, but first: Which LW does she connect with on all of these shows? I will guess Stacey. Now she says 2 Loose Women. Umm, Carol? Zoe asks Nads if she watches Shahs of Sunset.
Annoying fuckers and LA airheads. 
Mark says is the Pope a bear in the woods? Mark
witches about going back to catch up and Nads says you have to, at least with Below Deck go back to season 5.
Back to the Loose Women question, if you are the first you get a card. Woop dee doo dah! Well the correct answer is Faith with Denise and Jane. Nads says they sit around talking about these shows. Denise and Jane connect on 90 Day Fiance. That show is a delicious trainwreck. Mark says he got into the RH of Auckland but Nadia poo pooed it. Nadia found them too nasty. (Kiwis are nasty? Aussie I can believe, but Kiwis?
) Nads says they can't all be nasty, there have to be real friendships there. Trina asks how people have time to watch TV. Nads:"I make time."
Shame you can't make time to tidy up your tit. 
Nads reckons it's because they don't go to the pub, they don't drink wine and they start at 11 p.m. Katie put her back out and was watching Vlogmas at 4 a.m.
Sad. Sad for her back and sad she is watching Vlogamas at 4 a.m. Come on, watch some old PIFs! "Wasn't Nanny Di funny on the live?" says Mark.
Mark asks Nads what is her guilty pleasure that she would turn the channel over "instead of PornHub?' I think that went over Nadia's head, but no she is thinking and says "apart from PornHub, hmmmm." You can hear the gears in her head going, the hamsters are working overtime. Mark looks at his watch. Nadia says West Side Story, because Mark would
witch about it, but he says he loves it and what are you talking about? She mentions a film that she and Kiki watched, knew it was rubbish, but doesn't mention the title. I am still watiing for her list of shows from 10 mins ago. Mark said he didn't think the film was rubbish and now Nads is asks him why is he getting offended. Mark wants to know a series and he knows that a lot of people can't stand that she watches the Kardashians. Mark finds it boring and I concur. Nads says people are angry with them because they make people insecure and body conscious and the surgeries
(And the uptalking and the profuse use of the word like as a filler, storylines are so contrived, grown adult women getting into fisticuffs. Nevermind the only reason they are famous is because of Kim's sex tape. ) Nads says they don't affect her like that. Mark has a problem with it is they never reveal anything. Nads fluffs her hair and says she doesn't really watch it, has it on in the background because it is a bit boring.
Okay. She loves the beautiful homes and cars and children and larders and food and the fact that they always make up.
Sam JP says Botched. Ugh. Zoe says This Is Us. Mark says they watched the first episode of that, but they haven't gone back to it. Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman and her frozen face is what Mark will be watching. Someone mentions Dr. Pimple Popper and I watched an episode last night, her squeezing out steatocystomas. They squeezed out like ribbons.
Your welcome.
Nadia is squeemish about it and Mark has never seen it. Where have you been dude? "They pop cysts and all the pus comes out!" Tralala mentons Schitt's Creek and Mark says they watched the first episode and have to go back to it. Mark says Nads loves Naked Attraction and she screams she hates it. Mark suggests combinng Pimple Popper with Nake Attraction. Someone messaged Nads to disagree with her on Naked Attraction. She says she sees normal bodies on it and it made her feel better about her own body. (Okay, but it doesn't negate the fact that it is a stupid concept for a dating show. IMO of course.) Nads says she never thought of it like that, but is open to another, and she gestures with her hand outstretched then puts in down and says "standpoint."
Nads has a fun fact. "What is, what part of our bodies is completely and only on a human being?" "Inside or outside?"
It's Sunday I don't want to think. 
Mark tells us to watch the White Lotus. "No everyone has got a bumhole, everyone shits." Nads says chin.
I look at my cat and dude has a chin.
Mark says "What do you mean? The dogs have a chin at the end of their jaw." Nads:"Oh yeah." Mark says it's a load of nonsense and so do monkeys. Mark pulls up a photo of a chimp and says "What is that?" Nads says "Oh my God that is a massive chin!" Then says that isn't classed as a chimp. Nads goes to find the paper it was in. Nads asks if it is April Fools.
Talk about anticlimaxes says Palm93. "Maybe it's technically not a chin? Maybe it doesn't have a bone in it? Wait a second, where is you jaw and where is your chin?"
Please end this now, someone! You know what I will end it for myself. Nadia is right.
"The critical point here is that a chin isn't just “the bottom bit of the face” or “the front part of the lower jaw.” It's specifically a lump of bone that protrudes forward from the lower jaw." The Atlantic.
Nads goes to look it up and
"NO OTHER ANIMALS HAVE CHINS!!! LOOK! LOOK!" pointing excessively at her phone. Even neanderthals didn't have chins. Mark says it's
tit. Nads:"Darling it's the BBC!!" Nads goes to get the definition of chin and she pressed the button and it says "chin." "Oh, it's just telling you how to say it."
"Sweetheart, this is the BBC." Mark calls them chinless wonders. Faith says unless Sir David Attenborough says so, I don't believe it. Nads says she is going to find him. Mark thinks that it is humans who created the word chin for what animals have a jawbone. We have jawbones Mark, duh. Mark is convinced of this and I am bored.
Nads says he is trying to win the argument. Sophie says Attenborough menitoned the chins on a show last year. Nads gestures a there you go face and hand. "Can I get a round of applause please?" Thank Jebus that is over.
They have to go now, got to do Lisa Loves. "Oh we didn't get to do roast dinners and fry-ups." Happy birthday to Jeanine, Penny. HIT THE THUMBS UP GUYS THERE ARE 900S WATCHING YOU CHINLESS WONDERS! Happy birthday to Carla. Welcome Creatorholic. HAVE A LOVELY DAY, NNSS LATER DUE TO A DISTASTER. FAKE NEWS FROM THE BBC. Later!
(joke)
u spout
I don’t mind a bit of untidiness, until it turns into cluttered. But I don’t understand how someone doesn’t at least tidy up when they know someone’s coming round, that’s just consideration.
