he wouldnt make a counsellor as it would be obvious through his training (if he did it) that he is to focused on himself- i had a friend who failed her course because she was to stuck in her own problems - it would break with the ethics of the governing body to allow lunatics like him loose on other vulernable people
You know i understand completely what your saying and i agree that his own hang ups/nuerosis could be a huge stumbling block.However trying to break free of old habits/patterns is comendable even if it ends in failure.Your friend for example maybe failed her course but i hope that she understood the reasons why and then basically dealt with that reality check.
Sometimes we are damned if we do and then damned if we don't. The thing is doing something at least teaches us our limitations and hopefully how to work on them.I agree he probably would find it difficult and challenging but thats no reason not to try at least.Really facing up to the roots of mental illness takes a lot of courage because you have to be honest and neither of them have been but if he can break out of his self imposed cocoon and draw a breath and face up to the parts of himself that he does not like and avoids then he might have a chance...nobody said that was easy and it would mean changing his life completely and nadia might not like that either because its change and its not the security blanket she craves so she would have to take a look at herself as well...god..its a long dark night of the soul sometimes..and things would probably get much worse before they got better can they handle that? I would hate to reject all hope (as i would for anyone) but when you shine a light on the darkness all your inner demons come out and you have to stay centred and deal with them and no running away...its hard...especially if you've been in denial...can they deal with that?
Well he is the only one that can dispel doubts he is the only one that could come clean and he would have to admit that he doesn't have all the answers and for sure his ego would take a big knock and he would have to be alone and afraid and vulnerable and process it himself because thats the only way to find your way back to honesty.
To do something like that is not a band aid and he would have to be serious and commited andwell the jury is still out on that one.
You would hope just for the sake of his kids particularly kiki (because she feels her fathers problems very deeply )that he finds his nerve and learns to admit to his mistakes.
(and i don't just mean drinking which might be a symptom but not the cause?)
Lets just wait and see shall we i reserve judgement on this one i can't bring myself to say that people don't deserve a second chance because hey i'm not that high and mighty and i have a life littered with mistakes myself but i've always tried at least not to kid myself now lets see if he can do the same...but here is the sting in the tail mark you will have to suffer to fully know the suffering of others and you will have to get in touch with your feelings to feel for others.
You will have to let go of the past and stop blaming others and finally you will have to rescue yourself (so stop being enabled)
Good luck to him (he will need it) and good luck to all of us that have ever suffered from mental illness or depression including myself its a long hard lonely walk but its worth it provided that you are commited to learning and processing grief (because thats what life is like for sad people abandonment alienation insecurity and all the rest.
So lets see but the only way to get a grip on yourself is to stay strong and take action and learning to support yourself first before you can support others.