Mumsnet #9 It’s like it’s their first day as people.

[Glittergirlie]

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Where do these people come from??

Disclaimer: despite the similar fruit based usernames we are not the same person

My sister and I post daft threads all the time on MN ...a fair few have made the 'daily fail'...we both have one each going at the moment (name changed of course) we are getting loads of helpful suggestions

 

[AllTheGinJoints]

DDog is back! In a new jumper too. He’s still not sure about her boots and DDog2’s eyes have glazed over in boredom.
Also what are those shoes under the bed like?

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

Someone has started a thread asking how to dress in an eccentric bohemian dark academia style. Not sure what “dark academia” involves but I’m now picturing OP as a middle-aged Wednesday Addams.

A friend sent this to me recently and I feel it fits here

 

[Serene Serena]

I’ve never ever heard a real life person talk about doing life admin like it’s a separate chore from just living your life, paying the bills, making appointments etc, like we all do

Anyway to ramp up your intense envy of my upper middle class ex council house dwelling life, today I am going to buy a new toilet seat. This is entirely due to my fat bastard brother in law breaking the seat over Christmas. That’s worthy of a thread or two on MN. purely for the fat shaming alone.

Shall I go for a simple wipe clean plastic one, a polished wooden one, or (my favourite) a novelty one with glitter on it?

 

[GirlWithThePearlEarhole]

Someone asked what they should wear as mother of the groom and this monstrosity was one of the recommendations. I mean wtf?! She’s wearing Gregory Porter’s hat!

 

[Anasnake]

Don’t come north, we’re all cavemen with ferocious whippets, wearing flat caps and clogs

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

Not that it brings much to the convo but I have to say that I also instantly thought it must be a woman she’s with now due to the wording. Maybe it’s Anyfucker

 

[raspberryjuice]

There were no thread suggestions so used this quote by @Pebbleybeach which accurately describes MN users.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I genuinely have no words - this poor poster. Mumsnet is like an instruction manual of how to be a dick to another person for absolutely no reason at all.

 

[raspberryjuice]

Where do these people come from??

Disclaimer: despite the similar fruit based usernames we are not the same person

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

This is becoming my favourite thread and I’ve never really gone on Mumsnet. You guys are hilarious

 

[AllTheGinJoints]

There are Facebook groups where people post photos like that and I find there’s a lot more honesty without it being rude. Telling someone they look good when they don’t isn’t helping them.

I was in the Mrs Gloss FB group for a bit and they were far worse than MN. Anyone saying anything remotely critical would be told to #bekind and there was always some hulking bloke who’d post a photo of him in fishnets and they’d all gush “gawjuss, better legs than me hun” etc etc

 

[Sglodion]

The latest thread about supermarket shortages has reminded me, although that one isn't particularly bad - sometimes when I read the more dramatic threads about the state of the country I like to imagine it's 2015, and my only information about what life will be like in 2022-3 comes from this one Mumsnet thread that's somehow been sent back in time. I'd be so confused, wondering how in just seven years' time we'd all find ourselves shuffling round a post-apocalyptic wasteland where people earning six figure salaries were freezing to death in their homes because they couldn't afford central heating, and the medical system had collapsed to the point where heart attack victims had to be carted through the streets on a duffel coat strung between two tent poles to their neighbour's auntie who knew CPR from doing a first aid course in 1986.

That reminds me, no-one's mentioned blackouts for a while, have they? I wonder what everyone's going to do with their camping stoves they panic bought in preparation because it didn't occur to them that they could just have sandwiches for tea one day a week. Or a massive salad.

 

[nicalibres]

Jesus, one of them has spent £1500 quid in the online sales!!!

And it’s the woman with the jobby coloured carpet!! Why spend all that money on clothes to then clearly not look after them, and end up looking like you’ve fished them out a bin? Bonkers.

Oh happy new year everyone and a big hello to the lurking mumsnetters; may 2023 be the year you finally clean your mirrors and iron your clothes.

 

[Cinnabun]

Mumsnet rivals twitter for being one of the most relentlessly negative, predominantly left wing spaces on the internet. At least twitter has videos of cute animals.

The hell??? Although this reply is genius.

 

[raspberryjuice]

I know that where I work, if I reported a coworker to be smelling of drink, they would probably be suspended while management investigated. It's a serious offence in a lot of industries, to be drunk at work.

If someone reports to me they think one of their colleagues is under the influence of alcohol/drugs our policy states I HAVE to call an ambulance can you imagine that 999 call? “Yeah so Jill from admin seems a bit tipsy, think she’s had a couple of glasses of wine at lunch, so I’ve got to ring for an ambulance. No, no, she’s absolutely fine just a bit giggly, but y’kno…policy. Yeah a 4 day wait for someone to turn up is fine, she definitely won’t have sobered up or just left by then”. Only once they’ve been assessed am I allowed to suspend them. What a massive waste of resource.
Luckily I’m yet to encounter anyone turning up drunk. We’ve got a new guy who im convinced is using drugs before work but again, I’ve got to get an ambulance to assess him before I can suspend/investigate. No chance of that happening any time soon, so instead he literally stands in the carpark for his entire break, arms spread, spinning in circles and laughing and we can’t do anything other than ask if he’s ok and do ‘random’ searches on him.

 

[PrincessCharming]

The £200 invoice one is just for the DM to pick up. Definitely written by someone in MNHQ.

 

[notanotherusername92]

Mumsnetters never weigh over 9st.

you may look fine at 5.11 and 9.4 o/p, but I’m the same height and I’d just feel flabby over 8st. Head tilt tinkly laugh.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

It’s in Site Stuff. Someone has taken umbrage over the pasta bake comment upthread, and says MN users should be warned that MN isn’t a private VIP site that can only be accessed by people with the purest intentions. People on MN should also be warned that their posts can be seen by anyone who has the internet!
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I quite like that the poster says something like “they’re talking about THIS thread now, so I’ll expect the trolls here soon…” no you’re all right love, quite happy over here, thanks. We’re not crusaders, just taking the piss out of a few publicly available posts.

 

[MindyLahiri]

AIBU - my MIL wished me a merry Christmas so I had her sectioned