Mumsnet #9 It’s like it’s their first day as people.

[Mycatoliver]

Why do some of them never read threads properly before commenting? You’ll read a long thread that’s been resolved and people will still come along and continue to offer their ‘advice’ and it’s obvious they’ve not even bothered to read the thread properly.

Or ‘I don’t have any advice to give but didn’t want to read and run’
Fuck off then, you’re fucking pointless

 

[FrannyGallops]

Funniest thing about that thread is that she’s moaning that we’re talking about MN but then she’s drawn attention to Tattlers taking the piss out of the S&B thread, quoted the charity shops and pasta bake comment and then says she’s worried about the mental health of the people on the S&B thread, WHEN THEY PROBABLY HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THIS THREAD IN THE FIRST PLACE. They’re more likely to see her thread than this one!

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Sounds delightful

So much easier than admitting you look like Miriam Margolyes after a bender.

 

[Serene Serena]

If someone reports to me they think one of their colleagues is under the influence of alcohol/drugs our policy states I HAVE to call an ambulance can you imagine that 999 call? “Yeah so Jill from admin seems a bit tipsy, think she’s had a couple of glasses of wine at lunch, so I’ve got to ring for an ambulance. No, no, she’s absolutely fine just a bit giggly, but y’kno…policy. Yeah a 4 day wait for someone to turn up is fine, she definitely won’t have sobered up or just left by then”. Only once they’ve been assessed am I allowed to suspend them. What a massive waste of resource.
Luckily I’m yet to encounter anyone turning up drunk. We’ve got a new guy who im convinced is using drugs before work but again, I’ve got to get an ambulance to assess him before I can suspend/investigate. No chance of that happening any time soon, so instead he literally stands in the carpark for his entire break, arms spread, spinning in circles and laughing and we can’t do anything other than ask if he’s ok and do ‘random’ searches on him.

That's crazy. I found a colleague asleep in the staff room, absolutely spark out, stinking of booze, and I shook her awake, rang her boyfriend to collect her and marked her as sick for the rest of the day. Her dad was terminally ill and she was really struggling. I should have called one of the managers and let them deal with it, but I felt bad for her. Getting sacked wouldn't have helped. She took some time out sick and hasn't been drunk at work since.

 

[justheretoread99]

Just reading (quite a long thread) of the OP being bullied at work and being accused of all sorts. The OP is in a bit of a state today and been asked to take some leave by her manager, and someone just pipes up with this

 

[paulpercy666]

And let’s not get started on the posters who describe their child as being 48 months old!

awww 48 months is such a sweet age we had a right laugh at my uncles 732nd month party earlier this year

 

[WeHadFunRight]

“Here’s my photo of me in my wedding lingerie OP”

 

[LaBlonde]

You do get these space cadets who think their toddlers are so wonderful that everyone else must think so too.

We had a woman in our group back when mine were small. She’d let her cherub visit other tables in restaurants to chat to strangers (this was on holiday abroad so all kids were out with us in the evenings). We had to have a word.

i’ve definitely told this story on here before but i once had a toddler wander up to me in a (very nice!) restaurant and dump a handful of tomato pasta in my lap. when i looked up like wtf who’s child is this, his mother said “oh [boy name], are you making friends?” don’t let your children approach random strangers!

it’s a rare moment that i agree with a mn post but i’m with that op. if i was going on a all adult night out and someone said they were bringing their toddler and, not only that, a toddler that was being kept up past his bedtime i absolutely would not go. i’m not going on a night out to entertain a small child. the problem is obviously her wonderful DH though.

 

[Serene Serena]

Has no-one twigged that AnyFucker admits to being a size 10 - 12? That's the MN equivalent of morbid obesity!!! I'm surprised she hasn't been sidelined for that comment alone. She should change her name to FatFucker because by MN standards, anyone larger than a 6 - 8 is officially BIG.

 

[FrannyGallops]

“Posh chocs” is one of many mn phrases that makes me want to be fired out of a cannon directly into another dimension.

Posh chocs, picky tea…and the annual ‘AIBU to leave my washing out to get darked on and let spiders rub their willies on it’ that appears every spring all make me grind my teeth to dust.

 

[tootootoot]

Halter necks do nothing for bigger chests and the bunching around the hips
The colour also doesn’t work
The cream little bag is grim
But more than that it’s too long for her and looks like a dress from circa 2003

…..I’m off to hell

The dress looks like something my Sims wore as their formal wear in the 2000s

 

[nicalibres]

There is a miserable thread about someone asking for opinions on a dress for a work party.
What the actual fuck! So unbelievably miserable and patronising, the cunts

I don’t know what the fuck ‘sexily’ is but I certainly wouldn’t dress up to go to bed in this

‘How would you feel if everyone was wearing more boring clothes and all eyes were on you?’ I’d absolutely love it tbh babes x

The jealousy is ripping out of these dungaree fiends.

 

[ATV2021]

I read the post about Tiffany’s and actually felt bad for the poster
She cancelled the appointment (she was super excited) because Mumsnet ripped her to pieces and said you can’t have an appointment for anything cheap (which isn’t true)
Horrible

Bet the majority on there couldn't even afford the "cheaper" stuff from Tiffany anyway. Jealously is an illness from which 99% of MN seem to suffer from.

 

[Pinkii]

question is how did she find this site and this thread? She obviously enjoys a good nose around on gossip forums and has had a good nose around the thread and seems to know more about the posts than a tattle user. i didn’t even know what the pasta bake comment was and i am on this thread nearly daily

 

[Cinnabun]

I'm definitely #TeamCat

 

[WeHadFunRight]

AIBU to think Mumsnet is bad for your health?! I’ve had a little browse tonight and feel like I’m being downloaded onto by an extremely anxious and highly strung friend…. I genuinely think they all make each other worse!

 

[Savewaterdrinkgin]

Does she realise how outing that photo is, I can see her carpet and everything. It already tells me her husband has a secret hobby like football that’s too rare to name.

 

[EffingDust]

DDog is back! In a new jumper too. He’s still not sure about her boots and DDog2’s eyes have glazed over in boredom.
Also what are those shoes under the bed like? View attachment 1843096

Feel like her house smells of charity shops and 3 day old pasta bake

 

[Serene Serena]

That’s what I meant! St and ft are completely usual measurements, in the UK at least.

I can mentally convert kg and cm as job involves calculating drug doses, but I’ve never met anyone give me anything other than st and ft when asked their weight and height.

Yeah, I'm a tiny 5ft 2 and weigh 7 stone 4lb. <tinkly laugh>

Oh and I'm a billy bullshitter pretending to be petite and dainty, living off one massive salad per week, when in fact I'm built like an Eddie Stobart truck with an addiction to chips and gravy.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Someone's started a thread today speculating about whether Katie Cambridge (their nickname for her, not mine, it's so twee) is pregnant or not, because she's been photographed touching her tummy and looking fuller in the face. Someone has suggested she has peri bloat. FFS. She's 41. Why is everything over the age of 35 blamed on the fucking menopause? It's not a big deal for a lot of women either, but for the average Mumsnetter, it's the equivalent of experiencing life changing injuries. Apologies in advance to any Tattlers having a horrible menopause.

Could be early onset dementia and she thinks it’s years ago when she was pregnant and that’s why she’s touching her stomach.