Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[Brandshinynew]

Does anyone else read ‘tinkly laugh’ on here and find yourself quickly doing a ‘tinkly laugh’ to practice. I do and I sound unhinged. I will get my coat…

Ah have you tried a silvery laugh?!

 

[Serene Serena]

There’s been a lot of ‘shameless placemarking’ teehee which has bumped the threads up. Honestly, that phrase just makes me want to punch them. Use the bleeping bookmark function you thick twats!

Don’t be so polite Cow!!! Say what you mean

 

[Amoo]

There’s been a lot of ‘shameless placemarking’ teehee which has bumped the threads up. Honestly, that phrase just makes me want to punch them. Use the bleeping bookmark function you thick twats!

So.many times I've wanted to say that. The grinning face makes it even more annoying.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Another food thread where someone is arguing that an apple and 50g of hummus is (in her very own words) a nutrituous meal that sees her through 20k steps and a pilates class
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Haven’t caught up with this thread so sorry if I’m derailing an ongoing chat but saw this on Facebook and thought one of you non banned MN members could try and get it into S&B somehow. I was thinking - perfect for a weekend at Centre Parcs to allow easy access for the bum fun View attachment 2925178

Someone did this on a centre parcs thread

 

[Serene Serena]

The disordered eating is strong on there today.

I really hope that the majority of size 6 teeny tinies are actually size 16, because aspiring to be bone thin as an adult woman is so unhealthy.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

My mum still labours under the misapprehension that pasta is “healthy”. If I’ve told her once, I’ve told her a thousand times…

And she still takes no notice?

Go NC now!. You can't have this woman around your children - she will stuff them full of carbs and before you know it they will be size American and driving to school on mobility scooters because they are too fat to walk, or even get into the car.
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someone is arguing that an apple and 50g of hummus is (in her very own words) a nutrituous meal

Is 50g of hummus even visible to the naked eye?
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Ah have you tried a silvery laugh?!

I can't afford a silvery laugh. I'm a pensioner. Is there a perhaps a nylon laugh I could use? Or Formica?

 

[holasun]

" Wealth is draining out of the UK " - MN poster dines with the UKs richest who all believe the UK is in decline and they will no longer invest here etc etc blah blah blah.

High paying "proper" career and "in those circles". Also posting on MN throughout the night and into the middle of today.
Would genuinely love to know what (fictional) career lets you be worried about where the ultra wealthy invest and whether your kids will go to Oxford or Yale.. yet spend all day on internet forums ....

cough *BULLSHIT* cough

 

[Miss Begotten]

Use the bleeping bookmark function you thick twats!

Nicking this as well. Thanks to you funny fuckers I’m definitely going to need a bigger tombstone

 

[Cornima]

Have we seen the one about "should I sleep out in London"? Utter insanity. She's considering leaving her house in the Midlands to sleep rough in London in order to access an employment support scheme. In what world could that ever be an idea?!

 

[VC10]

Have we seen the one about "should I sleep out in London"? Utter insanity. She's considering leaving her house in the Midlands to sleep rough in London in order to access an employment support scheme. In what world could that ever be an idea?!

Ludicrous.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Some more fantastic reading comprehension being displayed today

First reply

 

[50degreesnorth]

DCoroner here. Please be mindful of your apple size due to DNHS being on its knees. For those of you classified as sedentary (30 mins HIIT, 20k steps) you’re better off just having 15g of apple peel and 3 chickpeas due to carb load.

 

[holasun]

I once choked (like properly lodged in my windpipe) on a piece of apple. Had to be thumped to cough it up.
Definitely be mindful of your apple size to protect the DNHS. Bloody lethal things they are. Much safer with chocolate.

 

[bread-pitt]

I’m sure the one who won’t take the dying dog to the vet because she’s worried her ex-boyfriend will hit on her is made up. There’s something not right there. Especially as she says in another thread she walks “a lot”, in fact she walks so much she thinks her neighbors will report her for falsely claiming disability payments.

 

[Millie2023]

The what now?

 

[50degreesnorth]

The what now?
View attachment 2926889

In the provinces that’s just chazzer wear. In real places (within M25) that’s £1675 worth of Margaret Howell.

 

[camotea]

In the provinces that’s just chazzer wear. In real places (within M25) that’s £1675 worth of Margaret Howell.

I was literally just thinking 'Hang on, I saw a blouson like that in the Hospice shop recently ' but I'm in the North so what is the point?

 

[Miss Begotten]

The what now?
View attachment 2926889

As a person in London I can say with absolute confidence “ no, they’re bleeping not”.

 

[Serene Serena]

As a person in London I can say with absolute confidence “ no, they’re bleeping not”.

My oldest sister lives in that there London and she wouldn’t be seen dead wearing such awful clothes

 

[bread-pitt]

When was that photo taken?