Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[orangehead]

Fly squashing is quite clearly a gateway crime. If it isn’t nipped in the bud immediately by this time next year Persephone will be running around the village fete with a rocket launcher in one hand and an umbrella with a poisoned tip in the other.

They go on like kids are serial killers when they pick flowers as well and when they scare birds.

Of course it’s not great for kids to kill bugs ‘for fun’, or scare birds, or pick wildflowers, but kids will do it for various reasons and their teacher/parent/person can correct them or not. If they don’t though, it’s not really fair to judge a little kid for pushing boundaries/experimenting/being ‘naughty’/whatever reason they’ve done it. It’s also very unlikely just because a kid is a bit ‘psycho’ they’re going to grow up to be an actual psycho
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Or even worse - she may grow up to be a size 12.

Now that’s a good reason to go NC. I personally cut out everyone in my life above a size 8 and I check the labels on everyone’s clothes before they’re allowed into my house to make sure they haven’t fattied their way up to a size 10 or bigger.

 

[HotDawg]

Pasta is often served with a tomato sauce and we all know how tomatoes are sugar bombs Plus you can't eat pasta without a handful of grated cheese on the top. I bloody love the stuff and that's why I am size Sicilian.

A handful?! That’s a lot …. and I have teeny tiny very small petite childlike hands! For reference, I have to wear gloves for newborn.

 

[VC10]

The what now?
View attachment 2926889

Where are their carers?

 

[orangehead]

A handful?! That’s a lot …. and I have teeny tiny very small petite childlike hands! For reference, I have to wear gloves for newborn.

Wow! You’re enormous! I have to wear Barbie gloves *preens*

 

[Serene Serena]

I can’t believe they’re not planning to tell him they’re in business class. Surely he needs to get his crisp white shirt and drapey cashmere ready? Or is that just women?

Darling, pashminas are so 2010. It's all about blazers now, surely you know that? Only lower class fat people wear (fake) drapey cashmere on their EasyJet flights

 

[girlinbrum]

Someone on this thread commented that mumsnetters are really a size 18 with boring jobs rather than size 8 with high flying six figure careers...it reminded me of this clip, she would so be a mumsnetter esp with her bad reading comprehension too. And there's quite a few on there I've read who claim to fall in love with their postman that i can imagine them stalking...

 

[Brandshinynew]

This is a reply on a thread where neighbour has taken a parcel in and isn't answering the door. What is 19th century " available"

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

This is a reply on a thread where neighbour has taken a parcel in and isn't answering the door. What is 19th century " available"

It means that one is in their parlour, taking tea and is available for callers. I mean, Shiny come on! Tis is basic stuff surely?

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

People would make it known that they were ‘At Home’ for callers at certain times but it was a formal invitation - but surely next door has a maid who could take in this package at any time?

 

[Brandshinynew]

It means that one is in their parlour, taking tea and is available for callers. I mean, Shiny come on! Tis is basic stuff surely?

Ah yeah, working class povvo like me has no idea of such grandeur. In the 19th century my family were up the chimneys or down the pits not taking tea in the parlour

 

[CatCafe234]

Ah yeah, working class povvo like me has no idea of such grandeur. In the 19th century my family were up the chimneys or down the pits not taking tea in the parlour

Like mine lol. When I looked at my family tree (which didn’t go far due to … um … quite a bit of illegitimacy) I realised quite quickly that my family were never the type that had servants, they always were them!

 

[Florentine]

Ah yeah, working class povvo like me has no idea of such grandeur. In the 19th century my family were up the chimneys or down the pits not taking tea in the parlour

<pitying look>
But, at the very least, you have calling cards, no? And are aware of the etiquette of which corner to turn down when etc?
I quite understand that not everyone has a butler to answer the door and explain that "Mrs BSN is not at home today, Madam/Sir", but surely the tweeny could take a break from black-leading the grate and do the honours?

 

[girlinbrum]

They're not happy about this article in the guardian today about MN...

Mumsnet has its flaws, but the depth of experience shared on it is extraordinary | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

From allergies to hen do beefs, the parenting site’s users cover it all. I just wish they wouldn’t use the word ‘hubby’, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

www.theguardian.com

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

Someone on this thread commented that mumsnetters are really a size 18 with boring jobs rather than size 8 with high flying six figure careers...it reminded me of this clip, she would so be a mumsnetter esp with her bad reading comprehension too. And there's quite a few on there I've read who claim to fall in love with their postman that i can imagine them stalking...

Haha of all the things for him to pull her up on - she told him 3 times she did an ordinary degree, it's pass/fail Piers! Even I know that and I don't have a photographic memory and did not go to any university.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

They're not happy about this article in the guardian today about MN...

Mumsnet has its flaws, but the depth of experience shared on it is extraordinary | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

From allergies to hen do beefs, the parenting site’s users cover it all. I just wish they wouldn’t use the word ‘hubby’, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

www.theguardian.com

I saw that and I actually thought it was quite a nice take. I may have been there so long I can't really see it any more. I've been on it for ten years.

I should take a hiatus from it. I can't quite bring myself to do something intentionally to get banned (and I could just reregister on another address anyway) but I'm thinking I might change my password by banging the keyboard randomly with my eyes shut and then logging out. But then I could still reset it with the forgotten password thing...argh.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I saw that and I actually thought it was quite a nice take. I may have been there so long I can't really see it any more. I've been on it for ten years.

I should take a hiatus from it. I can't quite bring myself to do something intentionally to get banned (and I could just reregister on another address anyway) but I'm thinking I might change my password by banging the keyboard randomly with my eyes shut and then logging out. But then I could still reset it with the forgotten password thing...argh.

Some of it's bollocks - and there is no way she's only been lurking to have that much knowledge of particular threads and themes, especially ones that are current on the site (I reckon she's started a couple of them in particular) - but the daftest thing? Further down when she's moaning about bubble mixture. One post on the site and she'd have been told what she needs to do is add a little bit of glycerine to the mixture to get big, stretchy bubbles. And that she's destroying the environment unless she makes it herself with eco friendly washing up liquid, water and glycerine...

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

I thought it was fine too, with the weirdest error that people use ‘hubby’. They almost never do, and the rare time someone does, they get the piss from what I’ve seen.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Fly squashing is quite clearly a gateway crime. If it isn’t nipped in the bud immediately by this time next year Persephone will be running around the village fete with a rocket launcher in one hand and an umbrella with a poisoned tip in the other.

Indeed.

Fly-squashing is proven* to be a gateway murder to mass genocide. Stalin, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Videla, Ceausescu - you name them - any and every murderous dictator - all started off with a bit of random (and often accidental, initially) fly-squashing and look where they ended up.

<hoicks bosom>

*possibly
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This is a reply on a thread where neighbour has taken a parcel in and isn't answering the door. What is 19th century " available"

Probably found an old copy of the F-Plan diet and have tried it out. They'll be shitting themselves thin, so unable to answer the door just at the moment.

 

[cat_follower]

If anyone’s still looking for something to put on their gravestone, you can’t have this, it’s mine x


a household of takeaway poos and farts

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

If anyone’s still looking for something to put on their gravestone, you can’t have this, it’s mine x


a household of takeaway poos and farts

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