Mumsnet Gossip Forum

Mumsnet is a website for parents in the UK. It hosts discussion forums where users share advice and information on parenting and many other topics. Mumsnet also has an Influencers' network with over 10,000 bloggers, vloggers and social media influencers.

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  1. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #61 Mumsnet HQ has always been a depressing blend of abject amateurism and outright greed

    Welcome back fellow resident porkers🤗🐷 Thread title credit goes to @BuckfastAtTiffanys and a special mention to @Itchy of Itchington for the t-shirt design for all the fatties (above size 8) that like to congregate on these threads
  2. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #60 Out of curiosity, what's your IQ?

    This was the most liked suggestion from the last thread, thanks to @girlinbrum Can't believe we're on to thread 60 already. I thought after the awful CSA attacks that the site and therefore our threads might die a death but here we are still going strong while that site gets more fucked up by...
  3. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #59 Isn't that a bit risky at your circumference?

    Another great thread title thanks to @LilyPond
  4. VeniVidiVicki

    Mumsnet #58 Are you there, Mumsnet? It’s me, Pithole*

    *When we say pithole, we mean shithole but we’re not allowed swears in titles. Shithole continues to be shit and has booked a holiday to Tunisia but has realised that it’s not like England and is desperately trying to cancel. She may or may not have started another thread saying that her...
  5. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #57 Did you mean to be so fat?

    Thread title thanks to @YR80. Possibly my favourite one yet
  6. D

    Mumsnet #56 Mumsnet Muff Monitor

    Please god I hope this works... New Mumsnet thread!
  7. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #55 Face down in airplane mode

    Thread title thanks to @sistersofpercy. Have a biscuit🍪 Well the last few days have been a real shit show haven’t they. I won’t do a recap in detail due to the nature of it, and if people are only just finding these threads then nobody wants to read that. I will warn anyone new that the...
  8. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #54 Music, Dancing and Potatoes

    This was the most liked thread title suggestion by @Serene Serena. I'm not even sure what the context is of this one:ROFLMAO: but if anything involves happiness and carbs then mumsnetters will hate it so it seems a good fit
  9. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #53 Stick a finger in his arse and call it macaroni

    Delightful thread title thanks to @holasun. I hope you're proud:ROFLMAO: I feel sorry for anyone who may not have seen any of these threads - they are going to see this thread title and wonder what the fuck is going on
  10. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #52 We’ve lost sight of what a normal sex session is

    Thread title courtesy of @BlairWaldorf86
  11. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #51 I can guess what dress size you are from your comments alone

    ‘Tis the season for cheating husband trolls🎄 Thread title winner goes to @ShopTilYouSlop
  12. Kikini Bamalam

    Mumsnet #50 I hope your octopus was humanely slaughtered

    Thread 50 people. Apologies but for some reason the new thread I created was held in an approval queue and was then deleted. I am assuming it was due to the link I put in. I have created an online advent calendar all about our fave site mumsnet. I will hang back reposting the link until I hear...
  13. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #49 Knock knock! Who’s there? No idea, I’m a mumsnetter.

    Thread title courtesy of @sistersofpercy There's a thread at the moment asking which food people think is overrated. The first few responses have mentioned cake, chocolate, yorkshire puddings, cauliflower cheese & macaroni cheese so that is clearly not the kind of thread I want to waste my time...
  14. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #48 Cherchez la spunk splatter

    Thanks to @cowtastrophe for this delight💦
  15. Kikini Bamalam

    Mumsnet #47 I prefer not to turn up to weddings dressed as an ominously shaped lump of toothpaste

    Congrats to D @cat_follower for the thread title and to D @Serene Serena on the birth of our new tattler DBetsi. A hamper full of sister wife dresses for Cat and a hamper full of bows and beige sleepsuits from Toast for Serena. Mumsnetters continue to be absolutely fucking batshit as per usual...
  16. M

    Mumsnet #46 Isn’t Jo Malone the person who does expensive copies of Aldi perfume and candles

    Really hoping the full title c/o @Banoffeebabe fits in, because it's very funny: Isn’t Jo Malone the person who does expensive copies of Aldi perfume and candles. Welcome to thread 46! I thought it wise to get a new one sorted before an inevitable weekend of Mumsnet nonsense.
  17. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #45 Smoulder like Noddy Holder

    Most like thread title suggested by @sistersofpercy. Have some mumsnetty flowers💐 Hopefully we will make it through this thread without having to see another fanny, but it is mumsnet so who the fuck knows anymore🤦‍♀️ --- In other news, the woman who dragged out her extremely boring, probably...
  18. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #44 Did you mean to come across so condescending and rude? Yes.

    It's already shaping up to be a thrilling day in mumsnet land Kirstie Allsop has dared to let her 15 year old leave the house, even though usually mumsnetters suggest that at 16 they should be moving out and be completely financially independent. Someone's clitoris is STILL painful, and a poor...
  19. Kikini Bamalam

    Mumsnet #43 Their DH has a corner office and drives a £400k vehicle - Bus Driver

    Here you go my fellow DTattlers. Props to our @DollyPlops for the thread title and our sweet @Millie2023 for nomming it. Business as usual over on MN. Bashing the fat, the poor and the non French. Making any tragedy about themselves and hugging their children extra hard tonight. Oh and Noddy...
  20. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #42 Too terrified to open their front door, let alone the biscuits

    Most liked thread title suggestion pointed out by @bread-pitt. I found it hard to even write your username because it contains bread which is a carb. Now I’m going to have to hide behind the sofa in a survival ball😢
  21. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #41 A cesspit of superiority, casual racism, loathing, and tinkly laughter

    For anyone new to Mumsnet and needing a recap, this pretty much sums it up They hate: Fat people Kids Old people Their husbands Their husbands family Their neighbours Dogs Carbs Skinny jeans If you’re skinny and willing to spend £350 on a dress made from an old hessian sack then they’ll love...
  22. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

    Thread title thanks to @cat_follower. One of my favourites so far Recently we’ve learned that under no circumstances can you have a banana on Biwi’s bootcamp but you can have a semen parcel as it’s low carb
  23. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

    Well done to @sistersofpercy for this cracker of a thread title. Have a woolly hug and flowers💐
  24. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

    Thanks go to @Duchessofmanchester and @holasun for this delight which was the most liked suggestion. You lot are filth
  25. CrimsonCountess

    Mumsnet #37 Wipe down my cucumber and sanitise my Hovis, I need to get my dicks in a row!

    @Eurgh @Geetbo and @Ineedmorecoffee are all to blame for this delightful title Recently we've learned that mumsnetters are still having problems with wafty fannies, you should be kind to people who post close ups of their fannies on the internet because you never know what they are going...