Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[TheMiceInTheShed]

there’s one this morning about someone who broke their wrist on holiday and is in extreme pain.

wrist surgeon here!

now I may be wrong but do you get surgeons that specialise is wrists? Wouldn’t that come under orthopods, maybe at a push an orthopod who specialises in wrist reconstruction?

anyway that amount of pain I have diagnosed a post-op infection which is now processing to sepsis. Obvs.

just waiting for the update from a&e, then I’ll change my name to house and apply for that job as consultant diagnostician. Qualification- has correctly diagnosesd sepsis on mumsnet.

Some orthopaedic surgeons specialise in hands but I've never known on describe themselves as a "wrist surgeon".

I think that you sound just as skilled and reliable as any such surgeon who offers their opinions MN.

Good luck in your new career!

 

[notanotherusername92]

There seems to be a lot of sex based aibu at the moment

Someone doesn't want her husband to finish inside her because it 'drips out for ages afterwards and gets everywhere'. There has been suggestions that he should spunk on himself, spunk in his hand, spunk in a sex towel on the bed etc

One poster says she inserts a tampon and leaves it overnight to collect all the jizz surely that is just asking for an infection!?

going back a few years but i swear in This Life. Milly used condoms because it was “cleaner”. Has that not occurred to the other 6 figure city lawyers?

I never even watched this life. My housemate loved it and had the dvd box sets, so I must have absorbed by osmosis somehow.

 

[CatCafe234]

The seasalt scam thread is still going. It’s absolutely astounding. I’m sorry but that thread is a literal reminder of the fact that 50% of the population are of below average intelligence. It’s like they have no critical thinking skills at all. And yet so many people coming on saying “don’t worry OP, these scams are so realistic, anyone can get caught out. I did!” Errr no. You’re just thick as tit too.

The Seasalt scam has been going round all weekend - I saw it on Facebook and wondered how anyone would get caught out by it, as it’s misspelled, is announcing that all Seasalt stores are closing and is selling off stuff for a few pounds … But the osts were full of people tagging their friends and saying how sorry they were. Honestly, if I were criminally-minded I’d set up something similar saying Joules or Boden were closing and make a fortune. The MNetters would be on it like flies to poo!

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

There seems to be a lot of sex based aibu at the moment

Someone doesn't want her husband to finish inside her because it 'drips out for ages afterwards and gets everywhere'. There has been suggestions that he should spunk on himself, spunk in his hand, spunk in a sex towel on the bed etc

One poster says she inserts a tampon and leaves it overnight to collect all the jizz surely that is just asking for an infection!?

That's GOT to be a man, whatever the username says. Please forgive me if this is TMI, but not only would no woman do that, but tampons are designed to absorb blood from above, not semen from below, and it simply would not work. It's a different substance coming (hur hur hur) from a different direction.

If you really can't handle that part of the business, best thing to do is to use a condom.

 

[Geetbo]

I love the threads where they’re taking their toddlers to do the “3+” tests at various posho schools. The angst! It’s another world.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

That's GOT to be a man, whatever the username says. Please forgive me if this is TMI, but not only would no woman do that, but tampons are designed to absorb blood from above, not semen from below, and it simply would not work. It's a different substance coming (hur hur hur) from a different direction.

If you really can't handle that part of the business, best thing to do is to use a condom.

Now I'm confused because the spunk comes from above too? They said they put it in after sex as advised by other people to stop the dribbling

 

[camotea]

Biscuit eater here! My DSD made biscuits this weekend. She wanted to make lemon flavour but we had no lemons so she improvised with a lemon ice pop* I applauded her ingenuity but only very quietly as I don't want to over step.



* tasted of 0 lemon

 

[Serene Serena]

Calling in from Planet all you can eat Tui. It’s husband’s big birthday, for context he’s 40, and our entire extended family are here in Tenerife, even Nan, in her one piece cossie she’s had since she got married in 1957. I am already size Tui and am pleased to report most of the clientele are too. Must dash, snack bar closes in 5 minutes and then it’s lunch. If anyone is on the Costa Dorada and sees a huge family gathering say hola. I’m the pregnant one drinking mineral water but looking fetching in a larger lady’s style kimono thing.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

going back a few years but i swear in This Life. Milly used condoms because it was “cleaner”. Has that not occurred to the other 6 figure city lawyers?

I never even watched this life. My housemate loved it and had the dvd box sets, so I must have absorbed by osmosis somehow.

Someone did recommend using a condom but apparently that thought never crossed her tiny little mind

 

[camotea]

Have wonderful time @Serene Serena I'd set my step kids on fire not really to be back in the arms of TUI again 🥲

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Now I'm confused because the spunk comes from above too? They said they put it in after sex as advised by other people to stop the dribbling

Ah, I haven't seen it so I misunderstood...but still, that's insane! Unless you insert it while lying on your back it's all still going to come out...and even doing that won't guarantee to keep everything in. And it won't absorb it very well because it's not the substance it's designed for.

If you can't deal with that happening, a condom is the best bet.

 

[Girl#7]

Calling in from Planet all you can eat Tui. It’s husband’s big birthday, for context he’s 40, and our entire extended family are here in Tenerife, even Nan, in her one piece cossie she’s had since she got married in 1957. I am already size Tui and am pleased to report most of the clientele are too. Must dash, snack bar closes in 5 minutes and then it’s lunch. If anyone is on the Costa Dorada and sees a huge family gathering say hola. I’m the pregnant one drinking mineral water but looking fetching in a larger lady’s style kimono thing.

I feel sad for me, happy for you.

I'm sad because you looking fetching in a kimono thing reminds me it seems like a very long time since I looked fetching in anything.

Fellow-Tattlers, feel free to join my pity-party, there are zero barriers to membership.

I lied. You are excluded if you're a MNer with your head up your arse just here to report back to MNHQ on how awful Tattlers are. If that's *you* just take yourself to duck, have a massive salad, and gorge yourself into a coma!!

 

[Nighttime Freedom]

Ha, no.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

New thread - https://tattle.life/threads/mumsnet-39-chatbot-or-fatbot.45308/