Mumsnet #36 My mum died when a fat midwife fell on her so we moved to France

[doctordoctor]

Not an overreaction at all...

She must’ve run out of lard…

 

[GBNI]

Prostitutes or hotels? Everything is cheaper up north remember



Dolly is my spirit animal, remember it costs a lot of money to look this cheap! Mama Noddy told me tonight that I look better without my eyelash extensions…. I am AFFRONTED!

You need to come over here north! We are super cheap! When I was selling my house my mainland friends nearly died at how cheap it was but it was expensive for the area

 

[Samf2020]

“Sanitise my Hovis” sounds absolutely filthy. I’m not 100% sure what it’s a euphemism for - but I’ll allow Keanu Reeves to push me up against the wall of a kebab shop alley, slip his hand up my top and whisper “sanitise my Hovis” in my ear.

You should write " chick lit' because Im pretty Ive read very similar to that at some point.

 

[ChampagneBox]

Might change my username to ‘wow, just wow.’ I’ll fit right in. Bet this person thinks no is a complete sentence too.

Reminds me of one of my fave gifs

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

Tasha doesn’t like blow drys , manis or grooming either. She’s so “not like other girls “

Mumsnet utterly hates me not only am I tattooed and fake boobed but I also have weekly blow dries, waxed and tinted eyebrows, eyelash extensions, manicures and pedicures, Brazilian waxing, Botox and a non surgical nose job

I was genuinely tempted to join and start a thread but just knew what I’d get, is there any equivalent to style and beauty on here? I’ve an interview Friday and seriously struggling especially because I’m such a short arse teeny tiny!

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

So jealous of the all inclusive holidays going on!

Best airport I've ever been to for security is Teesside - they were the first to get the new scanners so no liquid restrictions any more, and it's so quiet it literally feels like having a private airport not that I know of course what flying private is like! Absolute worst was Dublin when we literally did have to beg to be let through first or we'd have missed the connecting flight

 

[Tangent Tiger]

@GBNI honestly I tried washing a vegetable with disinfectant but then started nervously laughing and had to put it down, felt so silly.

It was in all the hysteria before they found out it wasn't fomite based.

Has anyone watched the film Contagion?

 

[sistersofpercy]

I'd rather be a smug dick sent as a gift from God, than a hysterical crayon munching mnetter.

Admittedly it’s my age, but my brain went straight to this crayon muncher. If you know. You know.

 

[rivermonster]

I don't even know what this code thing is they are asking about - will somebody tell me please.

 

[repairshoplover]

Might change my username to ‘wow, just wow.’ I’ll fit right in. Bet this person thinks no is a complete sentence too.

Ooh wow just wow is a favourite statement from the lazy colleague at my work… wonder if this is her.

 

[Serene Serena]

The lady washes sourdough bread? Does that make it wet and soggy? I'm very confused.

She must be joking. You can’t wash bread!

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

Lordie, why did I get so overexcited with the exclamation marks? I blame the fizz.
---

I see your £165k and raise you my £111k with a front and back garden and a driveway big enough for 3 cars. But my north is Northern Ireland, about half an hour from Belfast

I love myself a bit of Norn Iron!

 

[GBNI]

I love myself a bit of Norn Iron!

I feel I should make a dirty joke at this point but I’m too tired

 

[VC10]

I’d absolutely love to see some MNetters in the wild round the rough ends of Sunderland, or Middlesbrough even better. Although now feeling slightly smug since I actually do live in County Durham.

I recall there was a poster from Middlesborough in there , a while back. She could see a big bridge from her house?
Going back a while, now...

 

[ButtonDownTheHutches]

Has anyone seen that thread about the absolute melt OP who hasn’t seen a friend for 16 years and the friend has suddenly demanded to stay in her house for 6 months? That cannot be real. Surely no-one is that much of a pushover.

Sounds good - what’s the thread title?

 

[Tangent Tiger]

I was just reading their tattle thread on MN and then it all went down!

It's a sign!

 

[holasun]

Am I still welcome here if I say that I actually bloody love Center Parcs.
Yeah it's expensive; particularly in the UK. But the European ones are bloody brilliant.

 

[Tangent Tiger]

I can't remember what the other suggestion was, may have been I caught my husband sucking off a man @Geetbo?

Yeah the code asking seems to have got worse!

 

[Aussie]

I don’t get the glee in the allotment thread? I get that Barbara doesn’t own the allotment and needs to move but after ten years surely anyone can see that would be a bit a of wrench and handle it sensitively rather than making it into a soap opera for mumsnet

Also can I say to this miserable arses who were saying that it didn’t matter it had been cold and wet for ages you just need better clothing - if you don’t feel better this weekend with the sun out and some warmth you clearly have a cold dead heart . I feel like a new woman. With the heat

I can't believe it's now on the third thread

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Oh totally

But other posters are saying they are similar size families and don't use as much and she won't accept it. They are using a loo roll a day each?!

It seems like OP has an issue with hygiene and her husband is trying to rein her in and instead she has looked to MN for validation.

I should go and read the thread to see if he’s getting pissed off at his four kids too.