Mumsnet #26 Fanny wafts and meany pegs, what goes on in mumsnetters heads?

[CrimsonCountess]

'Has how to look expensive/polished changed?' in S&B

SomethingMustBeScaringThemAway is speaking in another language again because it makes no fucking sense to me?

I guess expensive is not seeing a red screen on the Phoebe Philo site. Nor having to buy your The Row handbag pre-owned! Polished - looking like you understand the UK’s much diminished position in the world and the fact that most of the significant drive and talent exists amongst the global majority? (These threads used to be full of posters proclaiming that only thin and blonde was acceptable …)

I don't even know how to begin to understand what the bloody hell they are talking about

 

[Serene Serena]

I posted this on the Popsy thread - to appreciate this you have to know that Popsy dresses are in the main frumpy, made of sweat inducing plastic fabrics with zany prints and much loved and worn by men!

a 50 something woman posted looking for advice on buying a dress to help her pull a works colleague at their Christmas do. These responses…

I googled Popsy and immediately got an advert for anti-chafing shorts.

Wow, those are some ugly dresses.

Someone will be along to suggest a velvet jumpsuit in a minute, that seems to be a Christmas favourite. I just think works do + alcohol + toilet + jumpsuit = showing my arse to people who don't need to see it.

 

[CatCafe234]

Mum

I'm sure it's a troll. Second property, crap landlord, crying and shaking, evicting tenants to get more money on AirBnB... and asking Mumsnet for advice? Who asks Mumsnet for advice about anything except parenting and relationships? What else is it qualified for?

To be fair, it’s not really qualified for those either.

 

[GBNI]

I'll leave this lol outfit here:
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How did you get a picture of my Christmas Day jammies?

 

[Serene Serena]

The Tattle codes thread is going wild! As a PBP I can only lurk on MN, but I;d like to think anyone offering codes has seriously vetted the MNer!

I’ve given away my 4 codes and I interviewed them in depth before handing them over

Nobody who wears Sister Jane dresses, earns six figures or pretends to, talks about what class they are, disses benefits claimants without knowing the situation, argues with their neighbours and brags about their eating disorder, is allowed on Tattle.

 

[Codiaeum]

On a thread about someone being upset she can't afford the upkeep of hair extensions and doesn't like how her natural hair looks

Classic MN whataboutism. OP - have you considered that some people never had the pleasure of talking shit online to complete strangers?

 

[Serene Serena]

I'm always reheating rice

A&E NOW!!!!!!

 

[CrimsonCountess]

On a thread about someone being upset she can't afford the upkeep of hair extensions and doesn't like how her natural hair looks

 

[Tretps29]

MN are loving the name (albeit) middle name Beryl for a baby.
What the actual fuck is wrong with these hags???

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Also, no matter how shit their wedding sounds, apparently the guests told them it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to.

I consider myself quite socially inept, but even I know you don't go to a wedding and tell the couple after "Yeah, it were alright, not as good as my uncle bob's though."

 

[Samf2020]

Has anyone read the thread 'To not know how to buy things I want with "DH's money"'?

Currently a SAHM, not earning and afraid to spend 'his' money.

Sure enough, we're not 5 minutes in and they're already screaming "All money is FAMILY money!"

One of my most hated expressions on Mumsnet

Unless of course they earn it in which case its theirs and theirs alone.

 

[Tretps29]

and MN always engage

do love this response

 

[FeloniousMonk]

It's NatashaDancing.

No no, if it was ND the post would end with "Since returning to these shores I feel my eyes have been opened to the beauty of simple functionality and structure. I now clothe myself exclusively in pieces which are inspired by this primitivism and push the envelope far past the bounds of mere fashion, elevating clothing to more than simple fabric and into the realm of art. But whenever I bless the S&B boards with the wisdom gained during my idyll with the savages of Borneo, I am met with derision for suggesting "monstrosities", AIBU?"

 

[Miss Begotten]

I cant generate anymore. I’ve only invited 4 people. I love the fact that membership of Tattle is sought after by Mumsnetters

I’m surprised they’d want to lower themselves to join in here. I thought this was supposed to be the cesspit of the internet and we were a bunch of evil harridans.
I think I’m going to need a rigorous vetting process before I hand over my codes - preliminary interview, numbers round, essay about why they are deserving of a place, and then the finalists fight to the death. Obviously I can be bribed with cake and/or Tom Hardy’s phone number.

 

[repairshoplover]

She’s got to be on the wind up. Now she’s regretting not getting an SUV

 

[Serene Serena]

Oh my god, people are nearly dying of shock when this mumsnetter reveals her real age.
Dying of shock

Everyone thinks they look years younger than they are. People will tell them they look years younger than they are. I always do, if I'm asked to guess someone's age, I lop off 15+ years. It doesn't mean I think they look 35 when they are 50 odd, it means I don't want to cause offence by saying 57 instead of 53.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Could be worse I suppose, could be down the park off his tits on nox or chemsexing it up with his buddies. If he is just going to go about the place tutting about the amount she says Jesus christ when she stubs her toe, then let the boy crack on

I'm rather enjoying this one from AIBU. I bet the evenings fly by in her household and how they are not swimming in piss from all the laughing they must do about this I do not know...

There are some good ones on there about massive salads, eating your 5 veg plus 2 fruit etc etc too

View attachment 2559459

That is the most boring thing I have ever read. Why would someone even waste their time writing that!?

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

They’re all up in arms about not adjusting to the clocks going back at the moment, apparently they will all be up from 3am for weeks with ‘seasonal jet lag’

 

[mindlessness]

These two thread titles in the first page of Relationships made me giggle.

 

[Serene Serena]

I grate an apple into mine, I'm just asking for diabetes

I'm surprised you have the dexterity to grate an apple, as you are obviously morbidly obese, with those eating habits, and have fingers like overcooked sausages.