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CrimsonCountess

VIP Member
Someone hasn't felt her twin babies move in a day and a half, so obviously went straight to mumsnet to ask what to do. How about go to the fucking hospital rather than posting on mumsnet!?
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I really hope this one is a troll. I'm not sure I could get my head round the fact someone out there would actually do this:oops:
 

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FeloniousMonk

Active member
'How to have handled this man in tesco' comes across to me like it's written in exactly the same style as the poster of the inappropriate ambulance ride thread from yesterday 🤨

Just something about the writing style, the language and the fact that they are complaining about another person again
I can see what you're saying. I've compared both posts side by side and although the content is similar in tone (unknown male being inexplicably inappropriate, with a slight undertone of threat) the grammatical and punctuation errors don't match up. The "ambulance" writer frequently misses apostrophe marks and commas, and adds extra full stops. "Tesco" writer, on the other hand, has almost perfect grammar and spelling - but interestingly is using backticks instead of apostrophes, something that only became apparent when I pasted both posts as plain text into a Notepad document.

So my money is on them being two separate people, albeit two separate people with a vivid imagination and a talent for blowing the most inconsequential encounters up into vivid fantasies on Mumsnet.

You may well ask, Why have you just spent 25 minutes analysing two MN posts you sad fucker? Because I have some smelly and unpleasant household tasks to do and this is my way of avoiding them 😝
 
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Boring Monday

VIP Member
As we come to the end of the Halloween posts (AMERICANISMS!!!!!) its reassuring to see the start of the ‘Furious about fireworks’ threads, complete with women babies, terrified animals and people with PTSD.

It’s like it just appears unexpectedly isn’t it? 😂
To be honest, as someone who is owned by a couple of extremely nervous rescue cats, it is annoying when people randomly pre-empt and just decide to rogue with a box of Standard fireworks. We’ve had them here on and off for a week now. The cat flap is shunned in favour of a comedy cat shape cut out through the door in the haste to get back inside and the air is thick with Feliway. We do have tablets from the vet but you can’t give them retrospectively. So, i’m not furious about them, but my heart does sink a bit when I hear an unexpected fizz bang.
 
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Salmonshirt

VIP Member
This is a reply to a post asking what time do you think there’s no point getting dressed for the day and just staying in your pj’s. Is a ramble different to a walk?!
IMG_1548.jpeg
 
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They’re touting bloody gro-ckocks on there again like it’s the invention of the wheel.

‘gro clocks are amazing OP! Ours used to wake up at 5am and crash into our room demanding to eat coco pops and be taken to soft play but since we put a gro clock in she sleeps until 7. She will quietly pad down the hallway to check we are awake but if not she’ll simply unwrap a brioche and read her collection of classic stories. It’s been life-changing!’

FML honestly, the boy I nanny for has a gro clock and by day 2 would simply flick the switch off at the wall at 4:45am and say it’s not red anymore, TIME TO GET UP
 
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Serene Serena

VIP Member
There are a lot of NHS bashing threads on Mumsnet today.

The porter who made a flippant comment whilst transporting the Mumsnetter to the operating theatre should be hung, drawn, quartered then dragged through the town by her toenails.

Tell PALS! Report her to her line manager! Wankers, the lot of them. Have they never made a poorly judged remark in their lives? I told a friend of mine to put his best foot forward once, completely overlooking the fact he has a below knee amputation on one side. He found it funny (or pretended to) and we are still friends now.
 
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ShopTilYouSlop

Chatty Member
I have a friend who has lost both legs. We took her out for the evening while she was recovering and she told us to fill her glass because she wanted to get legless.

No way I could be even half the trooper she is. I'm a total cowardly whingebag.
 
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TheOpposite

Active member
When I worked in Antenatal, one woman brought her darling little half ton ball of 2 year old child in with her as she was going for #3. Lovely kid, likely to match his Dad in size and shape (6'9" and about 24 stone of Man Mountain).

Caligula. I shit you not.

And his 5 year old brother? Nero. I did ask if they were pet names for Julius and Lucius, but, no, they were the boy's actual names.


Still half expecting them to show up as Tory MPs at some point in the next couple of years.
I named my cat Caligula. He was an absolute loon when I picked him from the litter. Best. Cat. Ever. I felt it was apt to name him after a mentally ill psychopath dictator. Definitely Tory material.
RIP Caligs. We still talk about your exploits.
 
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melonpane

Well-known member
I always doubt sad posts now, even though I privately acknowledge they might be true, so simply don't join in.
They are often a breeding ground for the MN Death Eaters, drama llamas, doom mongers. If the poster is new, I feel truly sorry for her. That frothing of support can be cut off at the jugular within seconds.

I always believe most of the popular threads are started intentionally by either MN staff or their press 'partners'. Since many popular threads find their way into the gutter press within a week of posting suggests a reciprocal link between both MNHQ and the press, to me.
 
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GBNI

VIP Member
Someone has posted to say their husband has just died today. Why would your first thoightbe to post on Mumsnet?
 
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I feel like green and blacks is quite middle class 😅 it’s the only chocolate i eat but not because it’s specifically middle class
Nooooo they’re off the Mumsnet chocolate list because of PALM OIL. They all only eat that Tony’s one now. They love that. They’ll say things like ‘even Cabernet and Walker has gone to the dogs, and I could weep at what they’ve done to Lindt. We only buy Tony’s now, which is very reasonably priced’

It IS reasonably priced so I tried some recently. It tasted of bark.
 
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MediumLoad

Chatty Member
The secret forums are only accessible to VIP members as well. ;)

Rub our noses in it why don't you?

I'm trying to post on here as much as I can but I find it difficult to balance being on here and my regular job, family commitments and leisure time, glittering career with a six-figure salary, managing my Edwardian pile in acres of its own grounds and indulging in my hobby of jetting around the globe on a whim.
 
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sistersofpercy

VIP Member
As we come to the end of the Halloween posts (AMERICANISMS!!!!!) its reassuring to see the start of the ‘Furious about fireworks’ threads, complete with women babies, terrified animals and people with PTSD.

It’s like it just appears unexpectedly isn’t it? 😂
 
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maytoseptember

VIP Member
The childfree board has been renamed. It's now 'MNers without children' and they're angry. I still can't get over how entitled it was to demand a board on a parenting site. One outraged poster asked whether MNHQ would rename the site, considering THEY have to be inclusive now 🤣
God forbid anyone question why childfree women (or - god forbid - MEN) would decide to join Mumsnet. Guaranteed bun fight.

The men are the worst. There was one (with MAN in his username, because he really needs everyone to know that he’s a man) got really, really butthurt in a thread taking the piss out of blokes with man flu. Mate, since you’ve decided to infiltrate a female space with your important manly opinions, you’ve got to put up with some gentle piss taking. And it really was gentle - nothing close to the vile things men say about women on male forums.
 
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pommobear

VIP Member
Is anyone reading the thread about what annoys you when you're in a cafe? Some of the answers are beyond unhinged. Someone just posted that they get really annoyed watching people reading in a cafe because "it's not a library". :ROFLMAO:
 
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