Mrs Hinch #512 Inch gives Sopha his sausage for tea, in 9 months time along comes baby number three.

[Sausage90]

Winning title by @Wize Owl thread titles taken from page 30 onwards and can't have swears xoxo

It's been a jam packed few days guysch, I just don't know how the stay at home mother of two, dad of two, grandma/grandad of a few have the time if I'm honest.

Ronnieblesshim got a perrrfickt little wooden market made up from appul crrrates, but it's called The Hinch farm shop because it's actually Sopha's to help her learn her colours.

We got a glimpse of 10 month old Lonnie's bathroom inspiration, which included a sink taller than the Empire State building and a toilet that he'll be unable to use for another 18 months. All babies LOVE the 'colour' griege so that's what he's getting oi oi.

Valentine's day kicked off with manky banana heart shapes for the poor lads, while Father James got ONE egg on ONE SLICE of bread. That's enough for you I'm fankyoo. Jim was reportedly seen later on at the Toby Cavery breakfast buffet but he swears on the Bible that he was just getting the ingredients for his sausage concoction that he would later surprise Sopha with.

Sophie posted a lovely family photo without Ron whilst declaring her love for Tiny Todge because she just never gets any time to take photos without the kids if I'm honest. She proclaimed she can't wait to start spending forever with her husband - who she's been married to for 4 years.

After scranning Jimbobnonob's offensive casserole, the happy in love forever and ever I.D.S.T couple played Lingo. Must have been a long night...

The following morning, Sopha's diarrhoea from last night's casserole was so bad she just sat in the Llama hut on the pissy straw. We've all been there haven't we? Anyone??....

Hope you're feeling better soon hunnay.

Thread #500 is a belter.
All newbies read the Wiki (pink button, top right).
Ronnie and Lennie doesn’t rhyme.
Jamie is short for James.
Hinch farm is not a farm.
Sopha's secret garden isn't a secret.

 

[F the dust.]

Even if you liked her, surely the fact she's running two houses, one being a larger than average one..whilst neither her or husband do a real days graft would still piss you off at some point? Two water rates, two insurances, two council taxes, two electricity and gas bills, a mortgage ( if she has one) shopping for two. For most of us it's a struggle keeping one going and dreading the utility bills arriving. Even if you thought good for her, should she still not be a bit more sensitive to the general population who don't live like she can?!

 

[Hereforthecomments1991]

 

[Jamiehinchnot]

Thank you for the catch up.

The sheep must be waking up?

Last night me and my 8 month old went to bed early and cuddled in bed so I could turn the heating off as I'm petrified of my bills inevitably becoming really expensive. I can't be the only one doing things like this?
There will always be those better off who don't worry about money... but there's something about this conwoman flaunting her spends that has to speak to others now? The future is so uncertain for so many at the moment, decorating a home isn't a priority, staying warm and full is.

Also is Polly back? Or still MIA.

 

[HinchesSousChef]

Bingos for tomorrow’s birthday fest:
- Ronnie bringing cards and presents to the sofa
- cake at the dining table but no view of the playhouse
-in the car driving filtered to fuck photo
-Inch reposting gushy messages from mad hinchers
-Inch posting a series of photos of her tend sleeping.
-an awkward video of them somewhere expensive dressed in tracksuits
-a tacky cheap present from inch and the boys that you know isn’t her REAL present.
-something from the cling on
-Stacey does her own montage that actually exposes some unseen unfiltered images
-she blows out her own candles and doesn’t let her children help
-fan photo of her folded in half

what have I missed guys?

 

[mingeandbracket]

 

[horseybox1982]

FUUUUCCCKKK OOOFFFFFF

Fuck off with your bullshit “I’ve learnt a lot about myself” you’ve learnt how to be consistently selfish, learnt how to fucking brag, learnt how to ostracise your eldest son, learnt how to be so fucking unaware of what’s happening around you, learnt how to bare faced lie even more than before and haven’t learnt how do be an adult without having your parents wipe your fucking arse for you. Fuck off.

Oh and those thumb rings are SO Fucking tacky.

 

[Picklelily]

Thought she was being environmentally friendly at Christmas and only used brown paper

 

[Pollyanna263]

I haven’t read the last thread (and I’m not sure I’ll manage to unless I missed anything amazing) but I’ve caught up with this one so am dumping all my thoughts at once.

- Why the fuck does she have her baby in the llamas’ sleeping area? That won’t help with anything in terms of boundaries and pecking order. It’s like why my 3yo isn’t allowed in the dog bed (which is his fave place ) - because it’s the dog’s safe space. The Maldon 3 have had their sleeping space invaded and she’s sitting on the ground, way below their level, which surely they will see as submissive behaviour from her and Lonnie?

- James’ sausage surprise - that’s got to be after we were talking about Soph’s disgusting anaemic sausage slop recently.

- When I clean my toaster I empty the crumbs straight into the bin, not the kitchen side.
Am I doing it wrong?

- Why does she blend and then re-form every single thing she feeds the boys? If she insists on those ingredients she could do eggy bread with ketchup and some chunks of cheese. Or cheese on toast. Also Soph the cucumber skin is most nutritious and a source of fibre, try leaving it on.

My 3yo has just eaten more dinner than me. He would laugh at the amount she gives Ron.
He and I and my 14yo ate together, as we do most days.

- Every time she cooks is an undeclared ad for her range.
I also suspect she’s advertising the plates as she keeps showing them. She is following them too

I

- I got soaked walking the dog today. She hates the rain too but she’d always rather walk in the rain than not at all. She looked like a drowned rat when we got home and so did I but we both felt better for it.

Stick your AmazON wellies and your coat on and take that poor dog for a walk.
Or pay a dog walker to take him out, even 3 or 4 times a week. You have no excuse Sopha, you’re just a really shit dog mum.

- @Sausage90 your recaps are absolutely brilliant and have made me laugh so much, you are soooooooo good and I love them to the moon and back 🥲


I’m not not here but I’m also not really here if that makes any sense. Prioritising my energy where it’s most needed (that’s my kids, Soph, you could try it)

 

[Icantwiththesepeople]

Fucking hell, state of that sausage casserole! If my other half served me that I would seriously consider whether or not he was trying to bump me off for my millions.

And "Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this man..." What an odd thing to say about someone you've been with for 9 years, married for four years and have two kids together. It's the sort of thing you say before your wedding, not some made up holiday in the middle of February. Vow renewal coming this summer anyone? Can't have Bezzie mate Stacy taking the limelight with her actual wedding now, can we??

Also does anyone else feel irrational rage whenever these huns profess "I wouldn't have it any other way"?

 

[Wize Owl]

Oooh my first thread title, I’m fankyoooo guyyyyysh.
I can’t believe this is happening to little ol’me from the little town village of Maldon. I’m weeping like Geppetto in his workshop who’s trying to escape from eating the leftovers from Inch’s Shauschage casscherole

ATV

 

[Wonderwhispers2k19]

Can I just say Ronnies ‘WOWWW’ and his interest in the presents was just precious

We will ignore the clawing rabid wench for now and just appreciate that amazing little boy for a moment

 

[HeyYouGuyyyyshhh]

So I reached out to an alpaca person to ask what they thought of leaving a two year old in a “field” with them. They said that the woolly wankers are clearly about a year, so still intact and will be for at least another six months. I’m that six months they’ll get more boisterous and argumentative within the pack. They were hand reared so expensive! And they will view both the dog and the kids as predators. More than likely they’ll get some form of injury soon as she doesn’t lift them so the llamas know they’re not a fox or whatever

 

[llamadramamama21]

"Me and len having our morning chats with roy" so why can't Ronnie be there? Why is Ronnie left to run miles with those things. Secondly. YOU HAVE 2 KIDS NOT ONE !!!! Also I wish I had as much of a break as she does from my three kids

 

[Icantwiththesepeople]

Birthday gift recipients when they see she's wrapped them all in tatty leftover Christmas paper covered in her child's scribbles

Doesn't she have Teshcooo gift wrap she should be flogging??

 

[Danielle0120]

Does she not realise siblings ARE different.
Regardless if one had a diagnosis or not. No siblings are the same. My kids are all so different and that's fine. She winds me uuuup

 

[Andioooop]

Poor Raymond, he looks sick of her shit

 

[Allie101]

Remember guys we are POOR by comparison.
We do not have fancy farms.....but we also do not have to have sex with Jamie.
Life is sweet.

 

[Dexty2021]

Happy birthday to that famous celebrity, who has made a career out of cleaning and chain smoking

JUNE BROWN

 

[Katlen12]

Thread suggestion:

no one puts Baby in a Premier Inn


clearly trying to copy her hair too