Mrs Hinch #463 Your so vain..I bet you think this thread is about you ...
Winning thread title by @Curlywurly82 
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Quick recap.
Monday morning she was up at 2.47am tending to be worried about her Christmas plans. She blamed Jamie’s snoring on her being awake., there must have been a rogue piece of Jus’Rol stuck on his tonsils.
According to her she’s not got her tree ready, hasn’t wrapped any presents etc If only someone had released an over priced book with blank pages that she could note these things down in and get herself organised... or indeed if it was still November.
It’s ok though as a big trip is planned with their families, she made this sound like an impromptu decision they’d come up with at the dinner on Sunday, but clearly you need to plan and book Christmas breaks well in advance. If all else fails and her plans to travel somewhere go awry at least they’ll have some dead branches nailed to the wall.
Later she was trying her hand at being a beauty influencer again. Given her entire review of a product is “I laaav it”, her face is pumped with plastic and she’s never seen without a filter, it might seem an odd choice that Garnier want to work with her, particularly when we know her bathroom cabinet is full of Elemis creams.
The filter she used was so absurd she looked like she was streaming it live from Whoville and her windows and door frames are so buckled that the foundations of Castle Greyskull should be checked.
After this there was a tend clean which was just an advert for her Flash spray, minky sponges and her notebook. She cleaned her kitchen and inexplicably left a pile of dirty laundry in the middle of it. You can see her and the agent discussing how everything shouldn’t be quite too perfect in case she doesn’t seem relatable to other mums. As usual she failed the brief miserably.
She used the boys for content again in the evening with Lennieloveim being shown lying on the dog’s bed looking at lights...he just laaavs them. Natch.
And little Ronnieblessisart’s appointment with his speech therapist being discussed.
Tuesday and she started the day by letting us see Henry take a crap on the AstroTurf. Nice. And then mocking up a hilarious (in her own head) conversation between Ron and Len about Len crapping himself. How heartwarming.
After that it was off to PoundStretcher to do a relatable Hinch Haul before the hugely expensive Christmas holiday / new house reveal.
She came home with a load of accessories for Elf On The Shelf, a toilet seat for Ron so we all know she’s toilet training him. (We already know Soph after you posted a photo of your poor little boy sat on the loo!) she also bought some paint your own Christmas decorations, we assume for Ron, but probably for a date night with the increasingly absent from the camera James.
Place your bets now on how long Elf On The Shelf will last..though it could be fun this year as BFF Stacey (love ya bubs) is also doing it this year and things are bound to get competitive.
Personally I’m hoping for a strong start with the Elf being baked into a Jus’Rol croissant this morning.
Next up was an ad for her shitty wreath from tesshco. It honestly is crap. It’s scented too. Why? What do wreaths normally smell of? It’s tiny and she’s also hung it too high up on her front door so it looks even more ridiculous. It’s like a pimple on a elephant’s arse.
After that we were treated to a pointless story of Len laughing and Hinch eye fucking herself and another reminder the elf is coming today.
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
Jamie is short for James.
...
On the fourth day of Christmas Hinchy gave to me. A discount code for tat she gets for freeeeee
so she can clear it for charity kids but not her own
