I’m so happy to hear this, it is such an anxious time so to heartbeat must be such a relief. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy
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Hi it’s nurseren, but I have a new name now. How are we all doing?
I recently went back to work in a new hospital; we totally relocated to a different part of the country following the death of my Papa and we needed a fresh start. It’s really done us all the world of good, but I’m struggling a bit when people ask questions about children.
I worked a night shift last week with a lovely nurse who asked if I had kids and do I want any more, and she stopped and went “I don’t why I asked that as I hate that question”. She told me about her conception struggles with her daughter, and I sat and told her all about the death of my daughter.
it weirdly felt cathartic to talk about it all without crying, and it was nice to say it out loud as sometimes it feels like a secret.
I hope we are all okay.
I recently went back to work in a new hospital; we totally relocated to a different part of the country following the death of my Papa and we needed a fresh start. It’s really done us all the world of good, but I’m struggling a bit when people ask questions about children.
I worked a night shift last week with a lovely nurse who asked if I had kids and do I want any more, and she stopped and went “I don’t why I asked that as I hate that question”. She told me about her conception struggles with her daughter, and I sat and told her all about the death of my daughter.
it weirdly felt cathartic to talk about it all without crying, and it was nice to say it out loud as sometimes it feels like a secret.
I hope we are all okay.
Hi ladies, I've just found this thread. In the last week I've had a miscarriage while also simultaneously losing a very close family member. I was also rushed to hospital via ambulance after hemorrhaging and discharged myself because I needed to attend the funeral. I was just wondering if anyone had any links for information or support for miscarriage as I've received next to no information from the hospital. (I'm booked in to see my own gp on Tuesday as she was on holidays so I'm hoping she will also be able to maybe direct me towards some info). Sorry if this is inappropriate or not the right place to ask.
Oh honey, I am so so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Its truly an awful thing to go through. There is Tommy's and miscarriage association. I follow them both on Instagram and there are links to resources on their websites. I didnt get offered anything after my 2 miscarriages, not even a follow up from my doctor. Hope you find the peace with it that you need/deserve xxx
Thanks a million, I'll have a look at both of those. It's not easy. Sending love to all x
So sorry to hear of your Miscarriage. Agree with tommys and the miscarriage association. i had a follow up appointment after my losses with a consultant from fetal medicine. Got mine booked for later this month for our recent loss.
I also found a local charity in my area who have offered councilling sessions after my first loss last year and also having sessions after my recent loss…. It’s really helped to talk things through with someone… your GP might be able to point you in right direction if it’s something you feel might help.
sending lots of love xxx
Hi - first time posting in this thread.
I had my first miscarriage in January. I found out I was pregnant on 4th January and for 2 weeks, it was real. On the 18th I woke up to bleeding and a few days later it was confirmed I’d lost the baby at hospital. Worst pain I’ve ever experienced, both physically and mentally. I already have a healthy 14 month old. Every time I get my period I get flashbacks. I still have my pregnancy app and check each week how many weeks I ‘should’ be.
The miscarriage broke my relationship apart, we were only dating 6 months, but we were both really excited. Yes the relationship had its problems, and I know the split was for the best.
since miscarrying I’ve had an amazing advance in my career and a strong vision of where I want to go in the next few years, which would be very difficult if I had of had the baby. Everyone keeps telling me ‘it’s for the best’, ‘it wasn’t meant to be’, because of the recent positive changes in my life. I admit I was really sick with this pregnancy, even if it was 2 weeks I knew. I was hormonal and lashed out at my then partner all the time. I struggled to look after my son due to being so tired.
All of this should mean I should be letting go. But I can’t. I miss my baby every day. The what ifs… I have a feeling it was a girl, I’ve always wanted a girl. I would’ve been 16 weeks this week, and that’s the week I found out my son’s gender. It’s just heartbreaking. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when September (due date) rolls around…
How do you all cope with these thoughts? How can you not be so triggered with each period?
I just want to not be so heartbroken
I had my first miscarriage in January. I found out I was pregnant on 4th January and for 2 weeks, it was real. On the 18th I woke up to bleeding and a few days later it was confirmed I’d lost the baby at hospital. Worst pain I’ve ever experienced, both physically and mentally. I already have a healthy 14 month old. Every time I get my period I get flashbacks. I still have my pregnancy app and check each week how many weeks I ‘should’ be.
The miscarriage broke my relationship apart, we were only dating 6 months, but we were both really excited. Yes the relationship had its problems, and I know the split was for the best.
since miscarrying I’ve had an amazing advance in my career and a strong vision of where I want to go in the next few years, which would be very difficult if I had of had the baby. Everyone keeps telling me ‘it’s for the best’, ‘it wasn’t meant to be’, because of the recent positive changes in my life. I admit I was really sick with this pregnancy, even if it was 2 weeks I knew. I was hormonal and lashed out at my then partner all the time. I struggled to look after my son due to being so tired.
All of this should mean I should be letting go. But I can’t. I miss my baby every day. The what ifs… I have a feeling it was a girl, I’ve always wanted a girl. I would’ve been 16 weeks this week, and that’s the week I found out my son’s gender. It’s just heartbreaking. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when September (due date) rolls around…
How do you all cope with these thoughts? How can you not be so triggered with each period?
I just want to not be so heartbroken
Thank you so much for your reply. I went to see my own gp today who was shocked at the lack of follow up care I have had and is referring me as an urgent referral to speak with a bereavement midwife as a follow-up. She also did bloods to check my iron levels post miscarriage. Unfortunately I also had a call from the hospital today to tell me I have developed an infection so am now on antibiotics for 7 days minimum. Hoping the antibiotics will help me feel a bit stronger physically so I can then focus on the mental aspect. Will definitely take a look at the resources mentioned. I followed them on Instagram but haven't had a chance to look at the resources yet.
Sending love and gentle hugs to all x
Im glad your GP has referred you. I got an infection with this MC as the placenta had stuck to my womb… after a few days on antibotics I felt so much better and got the call to say as was clear yeateday.
I have found now The physical side is healing I now have the capacity to deal with the mental side…it’s really tough. Sending you so much love, I really hope speaking to the bereavement midwife helps lighten the load alittle for you xxxx
Hello - I just wanted to update you all on the bleeding I had. We were pregnant with twins which came as a huge shock but it looks like we miscarried one - although going back next week to make sure that nothing has grown in the pregnancy sac. Feel so sad and shocked that there was 2! X
I wouldn’t even know what to look for in complications from a miscarriage. They say go to hosp if bleeding is extremely heavy but mine was and I was told it was normal when I called?! Very conflicting info out there for us to deal with x
Aww I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine the emotions you’re feeling. This happened to my cousin, she sadly miscarried one baby. Her son is now 15! I’m so glad one baby is ok though, but it’s very bittersweet. Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss – it really is such a heart-breaking experience, nobody fully understands unless its happened to them.
I understand what you mean about coping around the time that the baby would have been due - I would have been due at the end of this month; but instead, I’m going to my friends 40th birthday party – so I already know, I'm going to struggle to enjoy myself.
In terms of learning to cope, the only thing that gets me through is if I tell myself that it wasn’t meant to be and that if the baby had gone to long term, there would have been a lot of complications at risk.
I know we will love our babies regardless of anything, but I tell myself that it was natures way of saying, as sad as this is; this isn’t meant to be.
So in terms of you asking, how do you cope, for me personally – that is my coping mechanism. By telling myself that it wasn’t meant to be at this particular moment in my life and when It is meant to be, it will happen.
i knew something was wrong after my first d&c… bleeding cleared up after a week then I started spotting red again, then one evening I was in agony bled heavily and passed some large bits of tissue and clots. Found out next day I had retained tissue.
also to look out for Is a fever, orange blood, foul smelling blood/discharge. But I think it’s important to go with your gut instincts if something isn’t right! Xx
Hi all
I've been reading through some of your posts and I'm so sorry to those who have been through such crappy times but it's been a comfort knowing others have similar experiences.
I had my 12 week scan this week and there was a gestational sac, a yolk sac but no fetus visible even by transvaginal ultrasound. I've either had a missed miscarriage or the dates are wrong ( 5 weeks instead of the calculated 12 weeks). It's not possible for the dates to be out by this much, no matter how many times I stare at the calendar. I'm going to the EPU next week for a follow up to find out exactly what's going on, but I'm preparing myself for the inevitable and I feel like I'm already grieving. My partner won't believe this until its definitely confirmed by a medical professional so we're on different pages right now.
I've taken the last couple of days off work because I'm in shock. Very teary and anxious and I just can't be around people and pretend to be OK. How have you approached telling others (or not)? I've spoken to to few friends about what's happening and it helps me to be honest and upfront, but I suppose I'm wary of talking to people about such heavy stuff..... it's so hard to navigate and not something I feel prepared for at all. This is my first pregnancy and I was expecting to be sharing happy news this week, not waiting for confirmation that there's no baby. I'm trying to be logical and think that my body knew something wasn't OK and that's why I miscarried. But I'm so feeling betrayed because my body still thinks I'm pregnant.
It hurts me to think of anyone else going through this alone, which is partly why I feel like I want to be honest about it.
Sorry, that was a long long ramble.
I've been reading through some of your posts and I'm so sorry to those who have been through such crappy times but it's been a comfort knowing others have similar experiences.
I had my 12 week scan this week and there was a gestational sac, a yolk sac but no fetus visible even by transvaginal ultrasound. I've either had a missed miscarriage or the dates are wrong ( 5 weeks instead of the calculated 12 weeks). It's not possible for the dates to be out by this much, no matter how many times I stare at the calendar. I'm going to the EPU next week for a follow up to find out exactly what's going on, but I'm preparing myself for the inevitable and I feel like I'm already grieving. My partner won't believe this until its definitely confirmed by a medical professional so we're on different pages right now.
I've taken the last couple of days off work because I'm in shock. Very teary and anxious and I just can't be around people and pretend to be OK. How have you approached telling others (or not)? I've spoken to to few friends about what's happening and it helps me to be honest and upfront, but I suppose I'm wary of talking to people about such heavy stuff..... it's so hard to navigate and not something I feel prepared for at all. This is my first pregnancy and I was expecting to be sharing happy news this week, not waiting for confirmation that there's no baby. I'm trying to be logical and think that my body knew something wasn't OK and that's why I miscarried. But I'm so feeling betrayed because my body still thinks I'm pregnant.
It hurts me to think of anyone else going through this alone, which is partly why I feel like I want to be honest about it.
Sorry, that was a long long ramble.
So sorry you’re going through this. It’s difficult at any stage but particularly when you were planning on announcing it just seems that extra bit cruel. In terms of speaking about it to others, I was pretty open. I think it’s important people realise how hard and common it is. and I’m someone who’s extremely private usually. But it’s entirely up to you. I hope you get the answers you need x
I’m so sorry to hear this. I have shared my experiences a few times in this threadso I won’t ramble on too much but I had a missed miscarriage back in June, found out at the 12 week scan, baby had stopped growing at about 8 weeks.. only about a week after we saw the heartbeat at our early scan.
I can’t quite put into words the next few days after that, it’s all a blur. I honestly felt like time stopped. In terms of telling people, we had told a couple of friends and our parents after our 7 week scan so I was glad to have their support. Work wise, I had a week off but looking back I do wish I’d taken more time.
I couldn’t understand why my body had failed me and not even told me that there was no longer a baby and the fact I’d been walking around so happy and excited for a month without knowing made me feel so sick.
Sending you all the love in the world xxx
Thank you so much
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean, I feel horrible knowing that my body still thinks I'm pregnant even though I haven't been for awhile, it's a really awful feeling.im so sorry to hear of your loss. We have just been through a MMC. Thought I was 16 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 12 weeks. A few days after our 12 week scan.Thank you so much
We had told a select few about the pregnancy those who we knew if it went wrong would be a support. I’m sure those who you are talking to just want to be there to support you. I defiantly think it helps to talk.
I took a week off but struggled on my return… I had to have a 2nd d&c so took another few days off after. But tbh I wish I had taken longer then the week. Everyone is different but I’d say don’t rush back… is physically and mentally draining.
I also find the thought that I was happily walking around thinking I was going to having a baby while my body knew differnt. It’s so hard what your going through…. Really look after yourself. Sending loads of love. Always here to chat xx