Lying about cancer?!

[HelloStereo]

That feature on tik tok is very interesting! Especially in this situation.

I’m also not surprised but honestly it’s so so weird that there are people like this out there. It’s scary!

Yeah it is. His "brother" would talk to me for ages about T's condition and everything. It makes you wonder what they get out of it. If they don't want to talk anymore take the cowardly way out and ghost.
---

I can’t say I’m shocked that they were the same person.

My ex used to make multiple different social media accounts to stalk girls (literally) and I always guessed he must have a second sim or something.

Some people are very strange!

Yeah second sim definitely - makes sense why they were never online at the same time . I feel sorry for T's wife / partner.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Wtf. This is beyond demented. You don't even know his last name, this guy could be anyone.
I feel like it could be a scam somehow as well..has he ever asked you for money?
I would honestly block everywhere, this is scary

Agreed. I’m waiting for the im going to a foreign country ( Singapore or somewhere) for super intense surgery can you provide your sort code and mothers maiden name

 

[Mumoftwoandapig]

Listen to a podcast called “SweetBobby” then block him and run away as fast as you can.

 

[Shutterbug99]

I'm glad to hear you blocked this person @HelloStereo. I've only just seen this thread and haven't read through all ten pages, but even from your first post, it's obvious to me that T and his brother are the same person and he's telling you a pack of lies! (Finding a lump and going to hospital for a scan that same night? Yeah right!)

This will be about money in the end - even if it doesn't seem that way now (T will need treatment that is only available in America etc) and I'm glad you walked away before things reached that point.

Have you ever heard of the podcast Sweet Bobby? That's what I thought of when I read your post. Scary how out of control these things can get when people keep believing the lies!

 

[Imjusta_Teenage_Dirtbag]

I definitely don't think they are who they say they are, or that the situation is how they are portraying it. I guess we'll never know the reasons why they've chosen to make up this lie though :/

I tried to connect my Facebook and see if it could find new friend suggestions through numbers, but nothing came up. I think they're probably using a fake / burner phone or are covering their tracks by not associating any number with social media. It's all very odd!

Good to know you tried that already….sounds like burner numbers or something similar.
I would walk/run now while you can and take it as a lesson learnt.

If it makes you feel better a mate of mine started seeing a guy….suddenly she got a call off his number from his ‘brother’ saying he had been in a fight and got nicked. He had charges against him so wasn’t out on bail etc. The guy would call her on occasion from a landline but the brother would stay in touch. Brother asked for my number as he had seen me in her Faceparty pics (that’s how far back we are talking!) - said sure and when he messaged he called me and it was the guy all along!! My mate was full on apparently and it was all a way to get her away from him!! Even used a local phone box as the ‘prison phone’ (he lived near Feltham).
I told my mate straight away and it was the quickest block ever after that. You’re certainly not alone to this kind of BS I promise you

 

[candyland_]

Maybe but it didn't really feel like that at first. Whenever we weren't together we were always talking throughout the day and I've seen bits of his house and there wasn't any evidence of other people living there. It could be him and his mrs was on a break though. We would meet after work in my city, and then over the summer he went on a few holidays by himself (he says) so we didn't have long to plan for me to go to his.

I’m not entirely convinced there’s another woman but the whole things is crazy.

 

[TheGlossy]

I’ve honestly given up on men. The good ones are taken or not into women/you. Then we’re left with the leftovers who are mostly nutcases. If they’re too good to be true, then 99.99% of the time, they are!

 

[judgejohndeed]

Wtf. This is beyond demented. You don't even know his last name, this guy could be anyone.
I feel like it could be a scam somehow as well..has he ever asked you for money?
I would honestly block everywhere, this is scary

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I've dated quite a few people where I didn't know their last name. If I meet them out and about it's not something I'd ask and it just didn't come up in conversation I guess . I never thought something like this would happen where having their last name would be helpful for looking them up.

Do you have mobile banking? Go to the send your contacts money part of your mobile banking, if there is a bank linked to that phone number, you have a name.

 

[Rocknrolla]

Münchausen syndrome

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

He’s married

End of

 

[gummy-bear]

Red flags everywhere. This sounds like a lie which has spiralled violently out of control. Why would they stop you from seeing him or at the least sending him a card? It’s total bollocks. I’d just message the brother / whoever he is saying that you’re uncomfortable at the situation and the vagueness of details being provided, you wish them all luck but it’s time for you to end contact. Then block and delete and get on with your lovely life. You don’t need to be caught up in this shit

 

[HelloStereo]

He's definitely playing you, he's saying theres a no gifts/cards policy because he's not in a hospital, I think he's also taking advantage of cancer being treated in so many different ways so that he can tell you things that you aren't going to know you are being lied too

I don't know how cancer is treated so I like you would just take someone's word, it's not something I would ever dare ask anyone

Am sorry he's taken advantage of you, he's not the first person to lie about something that should never be lied about an unfortunately won't be the last, these type will always seek out good hearted people an take full advantage

My friend suggested "why don't you ask his brother to take a picture of him? " I agree. I don't know anything about treatment so I can't really question it either. Whatever he says I just take onboard because I have no reason not to. But you're right it's then easy to tell someone something and it be believable.

The no card / gifts policy seemed sus to me, and not being able to visit despite being a reason he smiles. It also seems like when I question something his brother then disappears for a while.

I’m sorry to reply again but these men always appear to be amazing in the beginning.. it’s how they get you hooked.

Ain't that the truth. He was apparently a good cook, DIY king with a well paying job, feminist modern man who was talking about taking me away on holiday . He'd also say things like "I'm not like other men" which I found insincere and strange even then.

it is to your credit that you are showing this man so much empathy and understanding but i can only echo the other replies - cut contact. he’s playing a game here (who knows for what purpose) and it’s absolutely not fair to you.

Thank you, I guess I just am a bit too trusting and want to see the best in people ha. My more cynical friends have echoed everything said in this thread.

 

[shadowcat5]

Sometimes people lie and for those of us who are mentally well, there is little point in trying to wrap your head around why other than they most likely get a kick out of the attention. By pretending to be his brother, he’s getting to ghost you whilst still indulging himself and stroking his ego as you talk about him and continue to show interest.

I used to work with someone who faked a pregnancy. The facts she gave never rang true and alarm bells rang for me from the minute she announced. It feels horrible to doubt someone but go with your gut

This what I was thinking. He is likely enjoying the messaging and worrying.


Maybe I am heartless but my first reaction at this whole thing would be “gosh I’m so sorry, I wish you the best” and ignored the rest of the messages/blocked him when it was socially acceptable. Mainly because even if it was true, what support would you, who has been on a some dates, doesn’t even know his last name or likely anything about him, be able to offer?
i say this as someone who semi had this happen once. Met a guy on a night out, exchanged numbers, met up after with some friends for a bbq, some texting but nothing serious, I get a message to say he’s been in a serious mountain bike accident and has amnesia. Very sad if it’s true but it’s not like I can help with that

 

[TheGlossy]

If people have bad intentions what's to stop them from lying about their last name though?

That’s the thing. Once you have their last name, you can perform a quick due diligence online. I get some people might not have an internet presence, but at least, you can try. I’m not saying a last name will protect you from anything, but it’s a way to try and prevent the type of situation you’re in right now.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I have a large age gap between my sisters and I've made lots of mistakes.

I bought them this book and made sure they both read it and would also recommend the art of seduction by Robert Greene. Both books are on Amazon. The second also goes through history and gives examples of the main different types of manipulators.

Moving forward I would also tell you to work on your self esteem, because the quote "we accept the love we think we deserve" is true.

 

[Poptart]

Block him now and don't give it any more of your time or energy.

 

[laughing]

This whole fucking thread feels like a fantasy now. I don’t want to sound harsh but honestly the more it goes on the more I’m not believing a word of it’s true

Defo a made up thread for a wind up

 

[Jaceydooley]

Trust your gut feeling, 100%. It is never wrong x

 

[Snippysnips]

I did find this strange too. Apparently he is in lots of pain due to tumours near his spine and needs to be sedated almost all the time and have morphine. He's been in hospital / bedridden for months now and it seems like a lot. I know other people who have received treatment and they're usually at home most of the time and go in as an outpatient. Even during the last stages their pain was managed and they just slept a lot.

I don't understand the no cards / gifts allowed policy either. Especially when his brother then said the staff brought in presents for the patients...

He's definitely playing you, he's saying theres a no gifts/cards policy because he's not in a hospital, I think he's also taking advantage of cancer being treated in so many different ways so that he can tell you things that you aren't going to know you are being lied too

I don't know how cancer is treated so I like you would just take someone's word, it's not something I would ever dare ask anyone

Am sorry he's taken advantage of you, he's not the first person to lie about something that should never be lied about an unfortunately won't be the last, these type will always seek out good hearted people an take full advantage