Lying about cancer?!

[HelloStereo]

Have you heard from him recently??

I don't know if they have tried to message as I blocked them.

 

[teabob]

Sometimes people lie and for those of us who are mentally well, there is little point in trying to wrap your head around why other than they most likely get a kick out of the attention. By pretending to be his brother, he’s getting to ghost you whilst still indulging himself and stroking his ego as you talk about him and continue to show interest.

I used to work with someone who faked a pregnancy. The facts she gave never rang true and alarm bells rang for me from the minute she announced. It feels horrible to doubt someone but go with your gut

 

[Okgolightly]

He’s probably just a psychopath

Modern dating summed up

 

[corriefan175]

I’m going to speak to you like I’d speak to my best friend in this situation:
Stop torturing yourself. Block the number, remove it from your phone and make it your New Years Resolution to not think of this person any more. You are making logical and rational excuses for an irrational psychopath which just does not work. We don’t know why some people do this, and you don’t really need to know- you just need to ignore and move on. Even if any of this was true, the fact you’ve not spoken to/ seen him since October means he’s just not that into you. Ghosted. Gone. I promise in a few years you’ll look back and laugh that you invested so much thought into this scenario.

* Plot twist* T doesn’t exist and the OP is winding us all up.

 

[HelloStereo]

It's only been a few months, honestly I'd move on, if someone was hiding things like their last name, where they lived an who they worked for etc I'd have said forget it an left then

I don't know if the cancer is true or not but the games he is playing with this all disappearing an not being honest really isn't worth it, it would he hard to walk away if you had been together for years an all this happened, so it's best to do it now and get over it rather than it happen again years down the line

Yeah it was only a few months. It was quite intense though, he kept inviting me away on holiday and professing his feelings for me. I know it hadn't been long but if it was true I still wanted to be there for him. He wasn't really hiding his last name or where he worked, it just didn't come up. I don't think he knows my last name or where I work until recently.

I had a brief thought his brother might be him haha. His brother's whatsapp picture shows him with a wife but it is taken from far away and he's wearing a cap so I can't see his face properly, but he has emojis for his status which are the same as T's. I always wondered if there was trouble at home and he had a brief fling with me and then went back to his wife .

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I think it’s one of those stories that just sounds so unbelievable, but of course stuff like this does happen. You see it all the time in chat magazines

 

[candyland_]

I really feel for you.. Clinging on to hope and not knowing what to do is hard but I think it’s in your best interests to cut all contact.

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

This whole fucking thread feels like a fantasy now. I don’t want to sound harsh but honestly the more it goes on the more I’m not believing a word of it’s true

 

[TheGlossy]

The fact you’re contemplating visiting him at his house after all the red flags have been highlighted … I don’t understand, honestly.

 

[Sabbie]

I went through all these pages hoping for a reveal all. Glad you finally dumped the psychopath. But please get checked at a clinic since you slept with him. Just to keep yourself safe and healthy. You we’re obviously not his first rodeo.

 

[HelloStereo]

Hope karma comes visits him one day and he’ll not be happy about it. What an ugly human being. We all knew it was him, but I hope getting the final piece to the puzzle is a relief for you.

I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone but it was such a horrible experience.

He lied about both names I found out. He is married and used his son's name as the guy i thought he was initially and his other son's name as the guy I was dating's "brother".

What is scary is that he was saying to see the guy I was dating the hospital would need visitor details such as a full name and address and that i could provide this to the hospital or he would happily pass it on. I didnt and would never have given him the details but it adds an extra later of sinister to it that he spun this massive lie and would have then known where I lived...

 

[JellyDonut]

He’s lying, I’m sorry to say but I have no doubt he is. He’s either got a wife/girlfriend already or he’s just a weirdo. Ask him questions about his treatment plan and clinical pathway, and who his consultant is.

 

[D2them]

I agree with what the others have said, block and move on. He's playing a sick game with you, it's not on. Also I doubt if that's his brother you've been messaging, probably him all along. Weirdo. Sending hugs and love, you deserve better xx

 

[atomic]

Not sure if you have tried this, but search the mobile number on Facebook, LinkedIn etc. Some people have their accounts set up where they can be found by searching their number.

Though I agree with everyone else on here that you need to cut contact and move on. He is absolutely playing you.

But it would be great to suss him out and beat him at his own game first!

 

[Clickbait]

I’m afraid I think this is all a complete fabrication. As for why - it may be that he is already in a relationship but had time in the early days to spend with you, possibly working away from home and staying in a hotel hence you not seeing where he lived or being invited there.

It could be he’s just a weirdo who likes to string women along with wild stories. Some people get a thrill out of lying and getting others to believe them. It might be an elaborate con.

There are just too many plot holes and inconsistencies in his story. If you’re telling the truth you don’t need a good memory. My fear is that he is doing this to multiple women hence not being able to remember exactly what has been said.

Medically speaking, hospital beds are at a premium particularly in Winter so if he was able to be at home with family support that would be preferable for both him as the patient and the hospital. Either his diagnosis is terminal or it isn’t. It could be it is terminal but he can have treatment to prolong his life. Perhaps you just need to be blunt and ask whether that is the case.

I think you are a little over-invested for such a short time, but it seems you’ve been dragged into a strange game and feel bad for doubting him. It’s rather like men claiming family illnesses or dead grandparents when they’re trying to keep a door open for the future - they say things that are hard to question or be angry about.

Either step away from contact and see what he does, or challenge him with some direct questions to try and establish authenticity.

 

[justonemorepage]

Unfortunately I do think he's playing you. And I think his brother is actually him. I had a similar situation happen to myself as a teenager where a guy I was seeing rang me at 4am telling me he was in Spain and had just been stabbed. I was frantic with worry until another girl contacted me to tell me he told her the exact same thing a week before. I don't know why some people do this but I've heard of it happening quite a lot. You definitely deserve better than this. All the best

 

[IGiveUp22]

It’s actually crazy isn’t it when you take a step back and think of all the things they’ve said/done and it was all one big lie. I’m actually writing a book about mine so deffo do it

As I mentioned mine faked a kidney removal () but by this point I didn’t believe it obv so wasn’t even paying attention to half the stuff he was sending me.
Anyway, this year another girl got in contact (long story) I was going back through my WhatsApp’s & found a voice note of the time he was allegedly in hospital after he’d had the surgery. There were hospital noises (machine beeps, low chatters, he even broke off the voice note to ask about medication as if a nurse had come over) but after a quick YouTube search, we found a video of “hospital background noise” that was identical so he’d basically put that on, pretended he was speaking to a nurse during it & all the time he was probably just at home
I can laugh now but honestly it’s frightening the lengths they go to. It must be an illness as it’s not normal

 

[alwaysdreaming]

You seem like a lovely empathetic person.
I am someone who has grown up with narcissists and those with psychological disorders.

He’s a pathological liar.
He is getting kicks out of this.
Even the display photo of his brothers wife could all be a hoax.
I doubt you are the only woman he’s misleading and fucking up their minds.
You don’t know anything about him and the truth is you don’t know his mental capability. This concerns me for your safety.
I pray he doesn’t know where you live.

You will never have answers or closure.
But you have the power to move on.

Delete, block him. Move on like everyone else has mentioned. It’s for your own good. Otherwise you will end up wasting your time on therapy and bla bla for someone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

It’s 2023 use this as an excuse to block this person.

 

[candyland_]

I can't believe he didn't even try and get presents out of this massive lie!

He’s not in hospital to get them

 

[cee-bee]

It's surprising how many people think it's okay to lie about cancer!

i worked in a high street bank very briefly about 10 years ago. When I joined, a girl had just been fired/let go quietly.

she’d told her colleagues she had cancer - a brain tumour specifically. She took time off work for doctors, hospital appointments. She did fundraisers (I’m not sure if she got the money or it went to a cause… if memory serves it was the former). She even shaved her head.

im not sure how she got found out, but she did eventually. She’d made the whole thing up. It’s not common for people to lie about being sick but… it’s not all that uncommon either!