I’m probably in the minority but I have a real soft spot for Ali. I think he’s kind, loving & caring & very talented in what he creates & he seems to put his heart & soul into it & works hard. He’s not a know it all, he just seems really friendly and up for a laugh & can laugh at himself. His dressing room was beautiful & fun & showed his personality. This new study sounds very much like Mike & Charlie’s taste, nothing wrong with them, their decor is beautiful but reflects who they are & their personalities. They appear to come from from very wealthy families, probably studied at the best school’s & universities, very well educated & I imagine their childhood homes were big & beautiful & traditional with antiques & oak & lots of land. Instead of turning Ali into something he’s not why doesn’t she just go and find a Charlie or a Mike if that’s what she wants. He’s just going to look like a little boy sitting at his Dad’s desk surrounded by books he’s never read. It just not him, all this tweed & turning the bungalow into toad hall. He’s popular with his male audience because he’s relatable & dresses that way too. His viewers will go off him if he moves away from what’s already works for him.
- Notice
Milking Keynes
VIP Member
OT, apologies - but had to tell you - my 10 yr old Goddaughter just texted me - I know you like Prada bags but when I ordered one from Wish.com it says “Padre” - is that ok?
Oops...
VIP Member
FUR BABIES IN THE WOOD
ACT 6.
Scene 1. Love in the Time of Covid Philharmonic Hall. Night.
As the curtain rises we note that a church organ with towering blue pipes fills a quarter of the stage SR. CS we see a huge marble staircase facing East and West with 40 steps either side. In actual fact - the ASM has taken up the curtain a little prematurely tonight and will get severely reprimanded in the morning. However, it suits our purposes to see what is going on behind the curtain. Tchai is sitting at the church organ rehearsing the the final flourishes to the Oratorio - The Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. The music is breathtaking and Tchai - ever the Maestro - closes his eyes in bliss as he plays the final 8 bars. Meanwhile, we notice our 2 Wardrobe Mistresses @Geranium and @shiroyagisan helping our 12 Newcomers into their glittering outfits for their debut in tonight’s show (which may well go down as out-rivalling any Busby Berkeley Spectacular.) What a night to make a debut! The excitement is palpable. Billy the Budgie twitters as he swirls and swoops above the stage. He can’t wait to get going. He had his voice trained by the great opera singer Smuggler in Milan some years ago. He is a virtuoso performer. Sonic the hedgehog has come out of hibernation especially to appear tonight. Wardrobe have polished every single quill to perfection and although Sonic isn’t at all vain; he really loves how he looks - and who could blame him? He practices his world-renown trundling; much to everyone’s delight. He’s a Bass Baritone so feels everything from the heart. Henry Higgle Wiggle Chuff Chuff our third Rainbow Bridge Warrior, displays his affable Boxer Cross qualities by discarding his Brownie uniform without hesitation and joyfully practicing his arpeggios whilst he is being dressed. He politely admires the beauty of both of our Wardrobe Mistresses from afar. Murphy and Bob - our regal Grey Merle Great Danes play down our admiration for their height and stature by playfully pretending to be little school puppies. Their angel wings are also a delicate shade of grey and they have a charming sparkle to them. Murphy simply cannot resist giving Bob his much loved ear rubs as they play-act. Tokki the Lionhead rabbit who has been chosen tonight over all the other rabbits who auditioned - because of his ability to run up and down stairs making the perfect ‘herd of elephant‘ acoustic sound . He is too perfect! Cooper, our French Bulldog refuses to go on unless he is allowed to bring his beloved pink ball secreted within his costume and of course Wardrobe acquiesce to this immediately because he is SO handsome. They even throw in a little bit of his favourite cheese just in case he needs to build up his stamina for the epic performance he is about to make. Elvis the Pointer/Cross has enjoyed a lifetime of adoration on both sides of the Atlantic. He is setting aside his guitar and his favourite blue suede shoes tonight in preference to his classical tastes. He is a cerebral soul and more biddable than anyone could imagine. He inherited these qualities from his adopted Mama of course. Our Jack Russell - Nobby Noblet Van Hoblet is obviously from the same home as Elvis. He is a famous animal right’s campaigner and has visited many schools with his Mama who spreads the word! Nobby is a world class tap dancer with the voice of an angel. Griffin and Dinah are both very special black and white Rainbow Bridge cats. They both appear tonight to reassure their lovely Mummy that they are still around her. They both share an amazing talent for syncopation; and who could not admire Griffin’s pink nose? Ben the beautiful Rainbow Bridge red Cocker Spaniel is admired by all for his floppy ears and his charming tufts of fur on his head held nicely held together with a butterfly clip. He is a very talented Baritone and never complains if he’s humbugged. He delivers every time and has no concept of how beautiful he is. This makes him twice as beautiful of course...The five minute bell sounds and all the Newcomer Fur Babies take their places prior to Curtain Call. The ASM now aware of what he has done lowers the curtain. The curtain is raised again at precisely the right time.
As the second curtain rises everyone gasps at the spectacle of the entire Company of 80 - dressed in sequinned top hat and tails all carrying silver topped canes whilst wearing tap-dancing shoes. However, the solemnity of the music quickly hushes any awed shock! Tchai plays the stirring opening bars of the Hallelujah Chorus. The Company have assembled in the form of graduated-in-size Choir. Each Fur Baby stands erect - eyes focussed forward. We are all transported by the glorious Church Organ Music and the Hallelujah Chorus. Tchai nods the choir in at precisely the right moment...THEY SING...
Halitosis! Halitosis! Halitosis! Halitosis! Halit-osis!
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halit-osis
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis,
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
(Halitosis, Halitosis,Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
Halitosis
The weather of this world - Is become
The purpose of the Cat - And of the Dog
And of the Dog
And we shall rain forever and ever
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain forever and ever)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
King of cats and king of dogs
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain)
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain)
King of cats, forever and ever
And of the dogs
Halitosis, Halitosis
And we shall rain forever and ever
King of cats and of the dogs
King of cats and of the dogs
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain forever and ever)
For ever and ever for ever and ever
(King of cats and of the dogs)
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
Hali...tosis
The choir suddenly all bang their canes in unison hard on the ground and assuming jazz hands and huge smiles they begin to tap dance to the Halitosis Chorus. They seamlessly divide into two halves of 40 on each side of the marble staircase. They tap dance up the stairs until each Fur Baby arrives at their own step. They then tap dance the entire Oratorio again using mesmerising syncopation. All the while they are smiling at the audience, twirling their canes and on the final “Halitosis‘ they wave their top hats in the air. They hold the final pose with canes and top hats aloft for 10 seconds. From the Orchestra Pit we now hear the opening bars of the 1933 Musical 42nd Street! The music gathers momentum as an army of spiders wearing a tap shoe on each leg enter SL. They perform another mesmerising tap dance with many high kicks and complicated steps all in perfect unison...after a 3 minute display
THEY SING...
Come with us and bring a torch
On the Avenue we’re taking you to
Underneath the porch
We’re all neat - with eight left feet
You can tell can’t you - we haven’t a clue
Under our porch seat
Casper captures - he’s in raptures - Benny stares us to the floor
Minnie chases us to places - Teddy squishes us and more
Come with us - where life is sweet
We’ll mesmerise you and you’ll never fall through
Under our porch seat
Tilly barks to have a lark
And it’s Monty’s way to chase us and play
Even in the dark
Stannis bats us then he pats us - he can do this every day
Chilli natters - all that matters - help is on its way
Harvey eats us all complete
Little Roo gets scared and haven’t you heard
Dexter’s on his beat
The orchestra continues to play 42nd Street for a further 3 minutes, during which time the entire company of Fur Babies joins the army of spiders in a glorious echoing tap dancing finale. The audience marvel at the footwork of all the tap dancers. It is an unforgettable Hollywood performance. The likes of which will never be seen again.
CURTAIN
Copyright 2020
ACT 6.
Scene 1. Love in the Time of Covid Philharmonic Hall. Night.
As the curtain rises we note that a church organ with towering blue pipes fills a quarter of the stage SR. CS we see a huge marble staircase facing East and West with 40 steps either side. In actual fact - the ASM has taken up the curtain a little prematurely tonight and will get severely reprimanded in the morning. However, it suits our purposes to see what is going on behind the curtain. Tchai is sitting at the church organ rehearsing the the final flourishes to the Oratorio - The Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. The music is breathtaking and Tchai - ever the Maestro - closes his eyes in bliss as he plays the final 8 bars. Meanwhile, we notice our 2 Wardrobe Mistresses @Geranium and @shiroyagisan helping our 12 Newcomers into their glittering outfits for their debut in tonight’s show (which may well go down as out-rivalling any Busby Berkeley Spectacular.) What a night to make a debut! The excitement is palpable. Billy the Budgie twitters as he swirls and swoops above the stage. He can’t wait to get going. He had his voice trained by the great opera singer Smuggler in Milan some years ago. He is a virtuoso performer. Sonic the hedgehog has come out of hibernation especially to appear tonight. Wardrobe have polished every single quill to perfection and although Sonic isn’t at all vain; he really loves how he looks - and who could blame him? He practices his world-renown trundling; much to everyone’s delight. He’s a Bass Baritone so feels everything from the heart. Henry Higgle Wiggle Chuff Chuff our third Rainbow Bridge Warrior, displays his affable Boxer Cross qualities by discarding his Brownie uniform without hesitation and joyfully practicing his arpeggios whilst he is being dressed. He politely admires the beauty of both of our Wardrobe Mistresses from afar. Murphy and Bob - our regal Grey Merle Great Danes play down our admiration for their height and stature by playfully pretending to be little school puppies. Their angel wings are also a delicate shade of grey and they have a charming sparkle to them. Murphy simply cannot resist giving Bob his much loved ear rubs as they play-act. Tokki the Lionhead rabbit who has been chosen tonight over all the other rabbits who auditioned - because of his ability to run up and down stairs making the perfect ‘herd of elephant‘ acoustic sound . He is too perfect! Cooper, our French Bulldog refuses to go on unless he is allowed to bring his beloved pink ball secreted within his costume and of course Wardrobe acquiesce to this immediately because he is SO handsome. They even throw in a little bit of his favourite cheese just in case he needs to build up his stamina for the epic performance he is about to make. Elvis the Pointer/Cross has enjoyed a lifetime of adoration on both sides of the Atlantic. He is setting aside his guitar and his favourite blue suede shoes tonight in preference to his classical tastes. He is a cerebral soul and more biddable than anyone could imagine. He inherited these qualities from his adopted Mama of course. Our Jack Russell - Nobby Noblet Van Hoblet is obviously from the same home as Elvis. He is a famous animal right’s campaigner and has visited many schools with his Mama who spreads the word! Nobby is a world class tap dancer with the voice of an angel. Griffin and Dinah are both very special black and white Rainbow Bridge cats. They both appear tonight to reassure their lovely Mummy that they are still around her. They both share an amazing talent for syncopation; and who could not admire Griffin’s pink nose? Ben the beautiful Rainbow Bridge red Cocker Spaniel is admired by all for his floppy ears and his charming tufts of fur on his head held nicely held together with a butterfly clip. He is a very talented Baritone and never complains if he’s humbugged. He delivers every time and has no concept of how beautiful he is. This makes him twice as beautiful of course...The five minute bell sounds and all the Newcomer Fur Babies take their places prior to Curtain Call. The ASM now aware of what he has done lowers the curtain. The curtain is raised again at precisely the right time.
As the second curtain rises everyone gasps at the spectacle of the entire Company of 80 - dressed in sequinned top hat and tails all carrying silver topped canes whilst wearing tap-dancing shoes. However, the solemnity of the music quickly hushes any awed shock! Tchai plays the stirring opening bars of the Hallelujah Chorus. The Company have assembled in the form of graduated-in-size Choir. Each Fur Baby stands erect - eyes focussed forward. We are all transported by the glorious Church Organ Music and the Hallelujah Chorus. Tchai nods the choir in at precisely the right moment...THEY SING...
Halitosis! Halitosis! Halitosis! Halitosis! Halit-osis!
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halit-osis
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
(Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis)
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis,
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
(Halitosis, Halitosis,Halitosis, Halitosis)
For cats and dogs omnipotent raineth
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
Halitosis
The weather of this world - Is become
The purpose of the Cat - And of the Dog
And of the Dog
And we shall rain forever and ever
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain forever and ever)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
King of cats
(Forever and ever, Halitosis, Halitosis)
And of the dogs
King of cats and king of dogs
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain)
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain)
King of cats, forever and ever
And of the dogs
Halitosis, Halitosis
And we shall rain forever and ever
King of cats and of the dogs
King of cats and of the dogs
And we shall rain forever and ever
(And we shall rain forever and ever)
For ever and ever for ever and ever
(King of cats and of the dogs)
Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis, Halitosis
Hali...tosis
The choir suddenly all bang their canes in unison hard on the ground and assuming jazz hands and huge smiles they begin to tap dance to the Halitosis Chorus. They seamlessly divide into two halves of 40 on each side of the marble staircase. They tap dance up the stairs until each Fur Baby arrives at their own step. They then tap dance the entire Oratorio again using mesmerising syncopation. All the while they are smiling at the audience, twirling their canes and on the final “Halitosis‘ they wave their top hats in the air. They hold the final pose with canes and top hats aloft for 10 seconds. From the Orchestra Pit we now hear the opening bars of the 1933 Musical 42nd Street! The music gathers momentum as an army of spiders wearing a tap shoe on each leg enter SL. They perform another mesmerising tap dance with many high kicks and complicated steps all in perfect unison...after a 3 minute display
THEY SING...
Come with us and bring a torch
On the Avenue we’re taking you to
Underneath the porch
We’re all neat - with eight left feet
You can tell can’t you - we haven’t a clue
Under our porch seat
Casper captures - he’s in raptures - Benny stares us to the floor
Minnie chases us to places - Teddy squishes us and more
Come with us - where life is sweet
We’ll mesmerise you and you’ll never fall through
Under our porch seat
Tilly barks to have a lark
And it’s Monty’s way to chase us and play
Even in the dark
Stannis bats us then he pats us - he can do this every day
Chilli natters - all that matters - help is on its way
Harvey eats us all complete
Little Roo gets scared and haven’t you heard
Dexter’s on his beat
The orchestra continues to play 42nd Street for a further 3 minutes, during which time the entire company of Fur Babies joins the army of spiders in a glorious echoing tap dancing finale. The audience marvel at the footwork of all the tap dancers. It is an unforgettable Hollywood performance. The likes of which will never be seen again.
CURTAIN
Copyright 2020
Peppypoopar
VIP Member
Nothing says date night than sitting 3 miles apart with every light on in the house 
ajd63
Active member
So to say how wonderful it is to work with Tiffany she’s using a photograph in which she’s wearing Chupi rings?
Her vlog was so boring I’m going to have to stop watching. But things I lolled at today:
- when she talked about her scalp being burned and said Ali had a video of her picking it. Was she trying to explain away that horrible video of her picking her head in the car?
- when she said she was basically leaving the very expensive greenhouse empty but wanted a table a chair in there so she should read a magazine and look at the trees.
Bore off now Lydia.
- when she talked about her scalp being burned and said Ali had a video of her picking it. Was she trying to explain away that horrible video of her picking her head in the car?
- when she said she was basically leaving the very expensive greenhouse empty but wanted a table a chair in there so she should read a magazine and look at the trees.
Bore off now Lydia.
Namima
VIP Member
Did you hear, she's sooo tall. 'Someone' said she's the tallest person around. 'Someone' said they didn't realise how tall she is. Hahahahahahaha. 'Someone' is probably drunk or high on cheap drugs. I've seen subscribers who have met her say they didn't realise how tiny she is. She was probably alone in the room so yeah, she was the tallest person and only person in the room. Idiot.
Isn't Cawwiie taller than Lydiot ? Oh, Cawwiie is the 'help', so she doesn't count ?
Probably addressing our Tattle discussion WEEKS ago about how SHORT she actually is. Already 9 DAYS INTO DECEMBER AND HER VLOGMAS IS STILL IN NOVEMBER !!!
" Good Vlogmas planning " my arse. Seriously, this heifer has mental issues. She literally is bat shit insane. I hope Ali sleeps with his left eye open, keeping a firm watch on the nut at night.
And for sure, she starves herself or severely restricts her calorie intake. Yoghurt schmoghurt. At the end of the vlog, late at night, her tummy was rumbling and she went to bed without having something to eat.
Isn't Cawwiie taller than Lydiot ? Oh, Cawwiie is the 'help', so she doesn't count ?
Probably addressing our Tattle discussion WEEKS ago about how SHORT she actually is. Already 9 DAYS INTO DECEMBER AND HER VLOGMAS IS STILL IN NOVEMBER !!!
" Good Vlogmas planning " my arse. Seriously, this heifer has mental issues. She literally is bat shit insane. I hope Ali sleeps with his left eye open, keeping a firm watch on the nut at night.
And for sure, she starves herself or severely restricts her calorie intake. Yoghurt schmoghurt. At the end of the vlog, late at night, her tummy was rumbling and she went to bed without having something to eat.
blue_orchid
VIP Member
She's actually a NFDT.........................Narcissistic, Fraudulent, Dumb Twat.
The end.
Lola Faith
VIP Member
Haha, Ali has his usual seat on the sofa opposite madam and she makes him come sit with her to snuggle! 
So Ali was so drunk on the wedding night his best friend had to put him to bed! Couldn't face shagging the witch then!
So Ali was so drunk on the wedding night his best friend had to put him to bed! Couldn't face shagging the witch then!
Last edited:
it’s such an awful lookHappyfocker
Well-known member
I agree. I know some of you used to think she was a good/nice person but I actually don't think she has ever been a nice person. Ali just hid it well because he was the one who edited her videos, but even in their old house there were still times where you could see exactly the person she is.
It was when she had to start editing the videos herself that she was leaving in everything and thats when people started seeing what a bitch she was. Even way back when she did that video in her old house when she threw all her bags on the sofa and she was sat very close to that candle. She was a bitch in the comments section when her minions dare say anything about it.
Miss Trunchbull
VIP Member
In years to come this will be the aerial view of their property
and this will be the street view
and this will be the street view
Annaaa
Active member
So they had 2 dates this year, movie and diner - both sponsored.
Their engagement was sponsored, their wedding was sponsored, their honeymoon was sponsored, all their couple trips were sponsored, their dates are sponsored, gifts they are giving to each other are sponsored...if they had any chemistry at all between them, I would expect durex ad at some point...
Their engagement was sponsored, their wedding was sponsored, their honeymoon was sponsored, all their couple trips were sponsored, their dates are sponsored, gifts they are giving to each other are sponsored...if they had any chemistry at all between them, I would expect durex ad at some point...
That makes me so sad that she has so many unused Christmas ornaments. I wish she would donate more, it’s not like she can’t afford to. So many people are struggling this year and those Christmas ornaments would really make a different to lots of people out there. I grew up on a council estate, some kids I grew up with didn’t stand a chance with the parents & upbringing they had. I knew of kids that stole their school uniforms off washing lines to go to school because their parents couldn’t afford them or wouldn’t buy them. I babysat young kids with empty fridges whilst their parents went to the pub & spent money on fags & booze. I still see some of the kids I grew up with & they are now struggling with addictions, mental illnesses, domestic violence & it’s now their children that suffer the most & that’s how the cycle continues. We need to look after the poorest of our society without judgement & give what we can. There’s always people to pass things onto. That one thing that no longer means anything to us will be really useful to someone out there. Selfishness & greed are the worst character traits. I could never sell on eBay like these influencers and I don’t have anywhere near the sort of wealth they do. I give everything away either to people less fortunate than myself or to a charity shop. Their reputations would be so much better if they partnered up with charities close to their hearts to donate all this stuff they don’t want to keep. They could do videos with the charity a few years on showing how much of a difference they have made and give something meaningful back to society they can be proud of. Why has she bought a flashy bag to give away for her followers to donate when she could be donating so much of her own stuff that she is sent. I’d have donated without the chance of winning a designer bag for doing it to be honest, it’s a good cause.Couple things from today’s flogs....
This “bench” on the solid oak porch is soooo shallow. Looks like 8”d max!!! That post is likely 6”. How tiny are they?! Predict Lydia will be livid! Only lumi’s ass is small enough for that bench.
13 big sized baskets and containers FULL of unused Christmas ornaments! 13!!!!! And most that I could see were really nice. What in the actual F?! How wasteful!
I can’t even deal with the no masks, pulled down masks, masks under noses masks during the photo shoot in November. During lockdown. People like this are the reason it’s spreading. Work or no work. Have some care about other’s safety.
What was the actual point of shooting in the boodles house or this modern house? Neither one showed off the location. Today all they showed was concrete stairs and hallways. They could have just gone to Ali’s car park for free.
Gotta love how Ali who is filming more real time is showing us all of her project progress 2 weeks before Lydia’s vlogs! Lol
View attachment 341386
AmaliaLana
VIP Member
ajd63
Active member
Miss Trunchbull
VIP Member
And once again we can check our estimations of Ali’s height. Each of these boards from Harrods Horticultural is 6inches in width. Never mind. What he lacks in height is compensated by what he lacks in brains.
And of course they have moved those beds....just look at those corners. What a botch job.
Nothing like the brochure.
And of course they have moved those beds....just look at those corners. What a botch job.
Nothing like the brochure.
Lottieinthesuburbs
Well-known member
Bloody hell how much stuff did Tiffany send to her? The combined value must be £10-20k! Insane. I saw them send jewellery to Twinset (who I love - normal girls, not knobheads) and Tijan Serena... but how the hell did Lidl get onto the list? Can’t believe she asked for yet another cashmere blanket. Third one this week. And the brass neck to ask for a sterling silver greenhouse!! Said it as a joke...yeah right you massive beg.
I’m not sure I can continue hate watching, even for the car crash value. The way freebies fly at her is sickening.
I’m not sure I can continue hate watching, even for the car crash value. The way freebies fly at her is sickening.
Oops...
VIP Member
FUR BABIES IN THE WOOD
ACT 7
Scene 1. Clearing in Wood. Day.
As the curtain rises the eagle-eyed amongst us will see that the sign on the porch now says Dunfaffin’ . In addition we see that a low, narrow bench seat has been placed inside the porch. Benny, Dexter, Muffin the Cat and Ulla are lying on their backs underneath the bench poking their paws upwards at the Army of Spiders who have now taken residence beneath the bench. Milkshake is busy trying to remove the tap dancing shoes one of the spiders forgot to return to Props. It’s very tricky because the spider won’t keep still. Freddy and Bruiser are leaping high in the air trying to encourage 3 baby spiders to run away and hide so that they can play hide and seek together. Roo, who peeps out from behind the signpost nervously, is keeping well away from the bench because he really is frightened of spiders. He’s tried in the past to give them a little pat - but no - he just can’t quite bring himself to get too close to them. Pepper sits front of stage with a little crowd around her. She holds her pink fluffy bone in one paw whilst stroking it with the other paw. The 2 Lulu’s, Rupert, Kaiser, Teddy, Teddy Bear, Gem, our 3 Caspers, Miss Milly and Milly, Harley, Harvey, 2 Charlie’s and our 2 Muffins are laughing with delight. Pepper is teaching them tongue-twisters.
Pepper. Peppypoopar picked a peck of pickled pink pics - if Peppypoopar picked a peck of pickled pink pics - where’s the peck of pickled pink pics Poopettemetis pinched?
Pepper’s pals practise...persistently..! They laugh uproariously and try and try again to get it right. This is such a fun game for them to play. All the other Fur Babies laugh and join in enthusiastically. The only one who manages to get it right first time is Elvis. Nobby congratulates him effusively by jumping on his back and licking the top of his head. The sound of amazing falsetto singing in perfect harmony is heard offstage. All the Fur Babies prick up their ears and crane their necks to see who might be coming.
Pepper. Oh! It’s our Newcomers! It’s our Newcomers!
Sergeant Major Henry. Welcome Parteeeeeey! Attennnn-shun! By the right...Quick march...Left, right, left, right...
All the Fur Babies obediently fall into line in front of the porch and the dwarf walls and await further orders expectantly. Sergeant Major Henry H.W Chuff Chuff quickly flicks through his ‘Fur Babies in the Trenches Manual‘ - until he gets to the page - New Recruits/Welcoming Of...He runs his paw down the list.
S.M Henry. ...Hmm...The Somme..No...Tubruck...No...Trench Foot...No...Ahh, yes - here it is...Clearing in Woods/ Bedhamptonshire. Hmm...Secret elite...hmm...special and magical place...no formality/uniforms required...hmm...right to remain affable/granted...hmm... Right Troops...At...Ease...Fall Out! (They fall out and gather round in high expectation) Erm...Sorry about that Guys! I came over all peculiar there. Oh! This is exciting, I do love a good Newcomer...Ha! They’re here...look! Welcome! Welcome!
Our Fur Babies‘ faces are wreathed in smiles. The dogs all bark, the cats groom themselves frantically, the ponies snort, the 3 rabbits stamp their back legs, the hedgehog trundles backwards and forwards excitedly, the hamster runs around in circles and the budgie swirls and swoops overhead shrieking Pretty Billy...Pretty Billy! Our 6 Newcomers enter SR. The exquisite black cat Maisie Boo and 3 other stunning cats Felix, Bowie and Beauty hold out their arms to all on stage. Harry the Dwarf Hamster is carried in by the fabulous white Yorkshire Terrier, B.G Beegee. The Newcomers happily huddle round together in a group and sing the final verses of their song to greet everyone on stage...
Newcomers.
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
The day we came to see your Christmas tree...
The friendly commotion of greeting our Newcomers with all the sniffing, mewing, purring, scampering, trundling, flapping and snorting that this entails continues for some time as our new Fur Babies are made heartily welcome. Maisie Boo takes one look at our Harvey and we can see love hearts appear as they float from the top of her beautiful head. Harvey grins and washes his paws. Freddy looks at Maisie Boo and hearts appear over the top of his head. Maisie Boo looks down and blushes when she notices this. Bowie and Beauty have a good look around just in case there might be an old washing machine for them to sit on. They’ve been looking for their old one from home for some time now. Moon likes the sound of this adventure and joins them. Felix makes friends immediately with Billy The Budgie and they have a good game of flap and purr without delay. Harry the dwarf hamster wastes no time in scuttling over to Toni the dwarf hamster and they have a really fascinating discussion on the features, advantages and benefits of an Acme hamster wheel as opposed to the Hygge hamster wheel. Klaudio approaches and allows both hamsters to climb up and each take an ear to snuggle into whilst they continue the debate. Tweedles, George and Sherlock make a beeline for BG and ask if they can join his singing group. Button and Bella love the sound of this and follow. Sonic trundles off into the woodland to see if her can find some beetles or earthworms to eat and Coco, Rupert and Lulu scamper of for a Poodle Picnic. Bonnie and Billie refill all of The Fur Baby’s drinking bowls with nice fresh water collected from the well in the woods earlier in the day. Teddy Bear and Gem sit close to each other (as usual) and are the first to see a lovely Airedale Terrier approaching. Her name is Arminta Arden. She has come to deliver her secret elixir to this part of the wood. She signals to Teddy Bear and Gem not to tell any of the others that she’s here. They obey without question.
Araminta Arden loved her perfect secret garden
It was glorious - it took ones breath away
The flora and the fauna - every inch and every corner
Every beetle, bee and tree were on display
Her verdant grass was striped every weed in it was swiped
With a potent, rich concoction made by her
On a nominated night by romantic candlelight
After midnight Araminta would prepare
A magic, liquid lotion and this perfumed, purple potion
Was administered as starlight stroked the bowers
When a misty lilac mist would emerge and she’d assist
The mist to feed and propagate her flowers
With no fuss and no ado Araminta’s garden grew
Each specimen and plant would yield it’s beauty
For approval up to her - she in turn took extra care
To water and to tend with loving duty
Each gentle tone of pink merging seamlessly to link
With the whites and palest blues and softest creams
The silvers and the sages near the loganberry cages
Toned with amethysts on greying painted screens
What perfection! What profusion! There was only one conclusion
One could draw from all the evidence abounding
The more of it the merrier for this ardent Airedale Terrier
Araminta had a gift that was astounding
The Foxgloves bowed their heads above the Lupins in her beds
As the Agapanthus wavered in the breeze
The Delphiniums and Stocks and delightful Lady Smocks
Watched a French Rose push its nose through Holly trees
A neatly clipped box hedge protected Lavender and Sedge
Whilst Clematis and the stately Hollyhocks
Would nod their heads contented, Araminta had invented
This elixir painting all their summer frocks
The scents sent senses reeling and one got the peaceful feeling
That no error had been made for one to pardon
We leave her there in bliss as we blow a fragrant kiss
To dear Araminta Arden in her garden
BLACKOUT
copyright 2020
ACT 7
Scene 1. Clearing in Wood. Day.
As the curtain rises the eagle-eyed amongst us will see that the sign on the porch now says Dunfaffin’ . In addition we see that a low, narrow bench seat has been placed inside the porch. Benny, Dexter, Muffin the Cat and Ulla are lying on their backs underneath the bench poking their paws upwards at the Army of Spiders who have now taken residence beneath the bench. Milkshake is busy trying to remove the tap dancing shoes one of the spiders forgot to return to Props. It’s very tricky because the spider won’t keep still. Freddy and Bruiser are leaping high in the air trying to encourage 3 baby spiders to run away and hide so that they can play hide and seek together. Roo, who peeps out from behind the signpost nervously, is keeping well away from the bench because he really is frightened of spiders. He’s tried in the past to give them a little pat - but no - he just can’t quite bring himself to get too close to them. Pepper sits front of stage with a little crowd around her. She holds her pink fluffy bone in one paw whilst stroking it with the other paw. The 2 Lulu’s, Rupert, Kaiser, Teddy, Teddy Bear, Gem, our 3 Caspers, Miss Milly and Milly, Harley, Harvey, 2 Charlie’s and our 2 Muffins are laughing with delight. Pepper is teaching them tongue-twisters.
Pepper. Peppypoopar picked a peck of pickled pink pics - if Peppypoopar picked a peck of pickled pink pics - where’s the peck of pickled pink pics Poopettemetis pinched?
Pepper’s pals practise...persistently..! They laugh uproariously and try and try again to get it right. This is such a fun game for them to play. All the other Fur Babies laugh and join in enthusiastically. The only one who manages to get it right first time is Elvis. Nobby congratulates him effusively by jumping on his back and licking the top of his head. The sound of amazing falsetto singing in perfect harmony is heard offstage. All the Fur Babies prick up their ears and crane their necks to see who might be coming.
Pepper. Oh! It’s our Newcomers! It’s our Newcomers!
Sergeant Major Henry. Welcome Parteeeeeey! Attennnn-shun! By the right...Quick march...Left, right, left, right...
All the Fur Babies obediently fall into line in front of the porch and the dwarf walls and await further orders expectantly. Sergeant Major Henry H.W Chuff Chuff quickly flicks through his ‘Fur Babies in the Trenches Manual‘ - until he gets to the page - New Recruits/Welcoming Of...He runs his paw down the list.
S.M Henry. ...Hmm...The Somme..No...Tubruck...No...Trench Foot...No...Ahh, yes - here it is...Clearing in Woods/ Bedhamptonshire. Hmm...Secret elite...hmm...special and magical place...no formality/uniforms required...hmm...right to remain affable/granted...hmm... Right Troops...At...Ease...Fall Out! (They fall out and gather round in high expectation) Erm...Sorry about that Guys! I came over all peculiar there. Oh! This is exciting, I do love a good Newcomer...Ha! They’re here...look! Welcome! Welcome!
Our Fur Babies‘ faces are wreathed in smiles. The dogs all bark, the cats groom themselves frantically, the ponies snort, the 3 rabbits stamp their back legs, the hedgehog trundles backwards and forwards excitedly, the hamster runs around in circles and the budgie swirls and swoops overhead shrieking Pretty Billy...Pretty Billy! Our 6 Newcomers enter SR. The exquisite black cat Maisie Boo and 3 other stunning cats Felix, Bowie and Beauty hold out their arms to all on stage. Harry the Dwarf Hamster is carried in by the fabulous white Yorkshire Terrier, B.G Beegee. The Newcomers happily huddle round together in a group and sing the final verses of their song to greet everyone on stage...
Newcomers.
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
The day we came to see your Christmas tree...
The friendly commotion of greeting our Newcomers with all the sniffing, mewing, purring, scampering, trundling, flapping and snorting that this entails continues for some time as our new Fur Babies are made heartily welcome. Maisie Boo takes one look at our Harvey and we can see love hearts appear as they float from the top of her beautiful head. Harvey grins and washes his paws. Freddy looks at Maisie Boo and hearts appear over the top of his head. Maisie Boo looks down and blushes when she notices this. Bowie and Beauty have a good look around just in case there might be an old washing machine for them to sit on. They’ve been looking for their old one from home for some time now. Moon likes the sound of this adventure and joins them. Felix makes friends immediately with Billy The Budgie and they have a good game of flap and purr without delay. Harry the dwarf hamster wastes no time in scuttling over to Toni the dwarf hamster and they have a really fascinating discussion on the features, advantages and benefits of an Acme hamster wheel as opposed to the Hygge hamster wheel. Klaudio approaches and allows both hamsters to climb up and each take an ear to snuggle into whilst they continue the debate. Tweedles, George and Sherlock make a beeline for BG and ask if they can join his singing group. Button and Bella love the sound of this and follow. Sonic trundles off into the woodland to see if her can find some beetles or earthworms to eat and Coco, Rupert and Lulu scamper of for a Poodle Picnic. Bonnie and Billie refill all of The Fur Baby’s drinking bowls with nice fresh water collected from the well in the woods earlier in the day. Teddy Bear and Gem sit close to each other (as usual) and are the first to see a lovely Airedale Terrier approaching. Her name is Arminta Arden. She has come to deliver her secret elixir to this part of the wood. She signals to Teddy Bear and Gem not to tell any of the others that she’s here. They obey without question.
Araminta Arden loved her perfect secret garden
It was glorious - it took ones breath away
The flora and the fauna - every inch and every corner
Every beetle, bee and tree were on display
Her verdant grass was striped every weed in it was swiped
With a potent, rich concoction made by her
On a nominated night by romantic candlelight
After midnight Araminta would prepare
A magic, liquid lotion and this perfumed, purple potion
Was administered as starlight stroked the bowers
When a misty lilac mist would emerge and she’d assist
The mist to feed and propagate her flowers
With no fuss and no ado Araminta’s garden grew
Each specimen and plant would yield it’s beauty
For approval up to her - she in turn took extra care
To water and to tend with loving duty
Each gentle tone of pink merging seamlessly to link
With the whites and palest blues and softest creams
The silvers and the sages near the loganberry cages
Toned with amethysts on greying painted screens
What perfection! What profusion! There was only one conclusion
One could draw from all the evidence abounding
The more of it the merrier for this ardent Airedale Terrier
Araminta had a gift that was astounding
The Foxgloves bowed their heads above the Lupins in her beds
As the Agapanthus wavered in the breeze
The Delphiniums and Stocks and delightful Lady Smocks
Watched a French Rose push its nose through Holly trees
A neatly clipped box hedge protected Lavender and Sedge
Whilst Clematis and the stately Hollyhocks
Would nod their heads contented, Araminta had invented
This elixir painting all their summer frocks
The scents sent senses reeling and one got the peaceful feeling
That no error had been made for one to pardon
We leave her there in bliss as we blow a fragrant kiss
To dear Araminta Arden in her garden
BLACKOUT
copyright 2020
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