Vlog Thursday 30th July 2020 - I Shouldn't Have Bought All Of This (Straight up you bought about 2% given it's a paid for integrated partnership. No need to lie to kick it).
- Her vlog game is far from strong but consistent. Good morning
Dressing gown
Eye
bleeping the camera
She acknowledges doesn't her hair look all lovely and soft. All her hard work with the hair masks is paying off. She's enjoying her makeup today as well. You do realise makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity though Lydia?
- It's Friday. She has a few loose ends to tie up before the weekend. She later says she had busy day but then corrects herself. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- She didn't want to spoil the surprise in the last vlog. She's treating Cawwee to a hike pit stop of all the local pubs as Cawwee is moving closer. A pub crawl then. At least you won't be the only idiot in the village Lydia. Ali and his manager join them. They all genuinely look like they're having fun. This is because Lydia is at the back preoccupied with vlogging obvs. Side note - why the
duck does Ali need a manager? I suppose searching for the perfect twig by yourself is hard work in itself.
- She begins to speak about Farfetch's philosophy. Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds. Still way more time than was dedicated to Glóby (your own brand) though.
- She saw the Fendi bag in Josie's boot room, then said 'oh that's the bag I ordered yesterday'. You speak fluent
tit Lydia. Apparently it's to replace her backpack, you know the one she bought last week, to store her cheese and pickle sandwiches in. Some people are has-beens. You Lydia are a never-was.
- She went for a walk in the Lake District. Did she? That's a long journey. I think she means Peak District. Do you ever wonder what life would be like Lydia, if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?
- It's now Sunday. She acknowledges she needs to clean the windows. It's been months, but those pesky window cleaners won't come inside during the pandemic. Hear me out girl. Could you not possibly clean them yourself? I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
- We get to see up close the pigeon centre island. She's going to paint the walls next in Farrow and Ball's shade 'I give no fucks'.
- She goes outside to check on her bramble bushes. She orgasms over the berries as she'll be making jam in no time. Have you ever considered suing your brain Lydia for nonsupport?
- She's feeling chipper so she is putting on a lovely dress, to do some things around the house. On that note, let's play house. You be the door and I’ll slam you.
- She emphasises this is going to be her last summer haul. But after each item she literally says 'I'm going to order more' or 'I need to get another one'. Don’t get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
- She asks 'let me know which one you would wear today?' I vote the cardboard box they came in. None of these are steamed obviously. She states she's a bad fashion blogger. She's going to put the code on screen as she never knows it off by heart. What do you actually find so difficult about memorising a few letters and numbers? Do you want to die stupid?
- She highlights they're both having a busy day. The next clip, she's writing in a Filofax to store all her seeds. This is now known as the Bible from herein, to refer back to when she is re-seeding. Oh an extra tab for salads. Any similarity between Lydia and a human is purely coincidental.
- She's new to cooking, so she just tells us exactly what it says on the theramix. Don't feel bad Lydia. A lot of people have no talent.
- She bought her grandma a thermomix. Said grandma then bank transferred her back the money for said thermomix. No buying really involved then Lydia. Standard.