Lily Pebbles #30 I’m not sure what my contribution is

[OrangeDuvet]

I had an ED in my teens/twenties partly brought on by constant comments on my weight as a child and being compared to others. I've not managed to shift my post baby weight despite working my arse off (gym 2 x a week, swim 1 x week and run x 2 a week) and so seeing a post like Anna's does trigger me. Sometimes it's not that a person hasn't worked hard enough to shift their weight.

I feel for you, but surely she can post a picture of herself without people seeing it as a personal attack?
I am unmarried and want more than anything to find my soulmate and settle down, should I act all offended every time an influencer posts a picutre of their husband? Even though it does trigger me sometimes I would never blame someone for acknowledging thier marriage on SM, as it's not their responsibility.

 

[trav35]

I had an ED in my teens/twenties partly brought on by constant comments on my weight as a child and being compared to others. I've not managed to shift my post baby weight despite working my arse off (gym 2 x a week, swim 1 x week and run x 2 a week) and so seeing a post like Anna's does trigger me. Sometimes it's not that a person hasn't worked hard enough to shift their weight.

Of course it’s not - just making the point that the only explanation for weight loss after pregnancy isn’t ‘it just effortlessly fell off’, and there’s absolutely no shame in a) caring about your self-image, and b) actively making an effort to do something about it. This isn’t about perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards - it’s about a regression to the norm, whatever that looks like for each individual, which by definition is not unrealistic. I sympathise entirely, and also suffered from disordered eating throughout my teens and twenties, but I don’t see how other people simply existing can be taken as a personal affront. If a particular influencer were triggering for me, I’d simply unfollow?

 

[scparis89]

Anyone's triggers are their sole responsibility to manage. Imagine a world where we all had to check that our body, clothes, face, etc weren't going to trigger a stranger every time we leave the house and go about our lives.

 

[LA2019Take2]

Sure, I completely agree it's not a matter of just if someone has 'worked hard', but your triggers aren't Anna's responsibility. And if I were Anna reading your message that a post of me just existing at my weight was triggering that also wouldn't feel great.

Pretty sure Anna wouldn't feel great if she read 99% of the comments on this forum? All we do is post about her 'just existing' and how that annoys/upsets/triggers/makes us laugh at her?

 

[jaymie]

I mean Anna posting this with the intention of fishing for compliments right? Maybe I am just a troll? But I wouldn’t put it pass her

 

[roarke]

I mean Anna posting this with the intention of fishing for compliments right? Maybe I am just a troll? But I wouldn’t put it pass her

Yep. That’s exactly right.

 

[jaymie]

Just driving this back to Lily’s thread, why hasn’t she post, I am bored! My mouth needs bitching

 

[roarke]

She hasn’t been tagged in anything on Instagram since 2019. Does that mean none of the companies she’s worked with have bothered reposting her advertising?

 

[electraheartt]

Pretty sure Anna wouldn't feel great if she read 99% of the comments on this forum? All we do is post about her 'just existing' and how that annoys/upsets/triggers/makes us laugh at her?

No, the purpose of posts shouldn't ever be to discuss people 'existing' in a negative light - it's about their actions. I'm not here to body shame Anna, Lily or any other content creator - their obsessive use of affiliate links and gifted products? Sure. A lack of direction and niche as 'influencers'? Yeah. Questionable fashion choices? That too. But not their mere existence and size/shape of their body...

 

[perky715]

Just driving this back to Lily’s thread, why hasn’t she post, I am bored! My mouth needs bitching

I think she's sulking about the Anna pic/Anna's return undermining everything she ever complained about and 'justified' because she was a mum.

 

[Nova]

Well, for those triggered by Anna, you’re doing right by following Lily then. Her unflattering pictures will make anyone feel good. Which is quite an achievement, because she is making herself look worse than she looks. Even when she was uncomfortable with her weight, she was still doing fine.

But I suppose the body insecurities can be triggering too.

And then there is the hair, the moles, the teeth, Lily has a lot to worry about and to spread the message of keeping it real.

 

[jaymie]

Well, for those triggered by Anna, you’re doing right by following Lily then. Her unflattering pictures will make anyone feel good. Which is quite an achievement, because she is making herself look worse than she looks. Even when she was uncomfortable with her weight, she was still doing fine.

But I suppose the body insecurities can be triggering too.

And then there is the hair, the moles, the teeth, Lily has a lot to worry about and to spread the message of keeping it real.

+ The beard,

 

[Nova]

+ The beard,

Oh yes and hairy arms.

Mind you, I am dealing with some of these issues as well, but I don’t experience it as a huge weight.

 

[Gold_7]

I’m not triggered by Anna at all - I lost all my baby weight very quickly, especially after the first one. I take care of myself and always have done, I don’t look down on people who do or judge people who don’t.
I didn’t mean it’s Anna’s responsibility to think about other people being triggered. That wasn’t my point. She’s an influencer and she posts pictures of herself constantly. Anna does not usually post pictures of herself looking clearly very slim. She’s fishing for compliments on this one and the subtext is - look at me, I’m very slim after having a baby.
I didn’t see her as feeding into that kind of narrative, so I find it a little disappointing and sad that she felt the need to do so.

Just my opinion!

 

[Rosie2019]

Genuinely confused why people keep using the word existing. Surely cultivating an online following and then using it to monetize the way you look is not simply existing? I hate people showing off that they lost their baby weight and it is more insidious than just being a trigger to some people. But anyway body shaming is awful end of.

 

[Nova]

I’m not triggered by Anna at all - I lost all my baby weight very quickly, especially after the first one. I take care of myself and always have done, I don’t look down on people who do or judge people who don’t.
I didn’t mean it’s Anna’s responsibility to think about other people being triggered. That wasn’t my point. She’s an influencer and she posts pictures of herself constantly. Anna does not usually post pictures of herself looking clearly very slim. She’s fishing for compliments on this one and the subtext is - look at me, I’m very slim after having a baby.
I didn’t see her as feeding into that kind of narrative, so I find it a little disappointing and sad that she felt the need to do so.

Just my opinion!

She is the queen of posting pictures of her just standing somewhere. I don’t see this particular one as fishing for compliments.
Edit: I just went over to Anna’s thread. There’s a heated debate about this there, lol!

 

[Jaybtee]

I love these dual thread arguments

I don’t even know where I stand

all I know is Anna is a

 

[jaymie]

the martins are empty inside

 

[Jaybtee]

CLEVER

 

[tafseel]

Maybe she threw that in for us and it’s actually a sly dig at Lily