Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[lamaitresse]

Notice how she's blacked out the engagement rate of the middle 3 pics That'll be taken from her 'business' analytics page from insta, posts shown in order of views. If she's embarrassed about number of views from only 6 posts down that shows she knows nobody is paying her attention.
Also you're not 20 love, there is more to life than social media numbers.

That's hilarious, well spotted. I'm surprised even 1M would look at her fake photos (the ones she hasn't blacked out). Though maybe it's because it's New! magazine and they're shared on the back of other accounts.

All her compiled pictures have been run through FaceApp. She suffers from a weird form of delusion (at least Chaz is still recognisable in real life).

Why? Just WHY is this necessary?????View attachment 843991

I'm trying to figure out what body part that freckled, wrinkled mound of flesh is. And I've just woke up! Argh!

 

[Anna666]

Oh Lordy, TEEFS alert.
View attachment 843540
(Probably also at pains to highlight they're still together).

"she my little best mate a" ?!?! Is she drunk? PLEASE don't treat your child as your "best mate". We all know how that goes. Possessiveness, over-sharing, no boundaries or discipline.

I think she was meant to write ..... " she my little best mate .. a ... BALL " ...... his teeeefffff are honestly hideous!! ..... wheres the bottom deck gone?

 

[Notredamn]

I'm starting to wonder if talking in stilted, grammatically-odd sentences is a way of communicating quickly, or something younger people do (Lauren is younger than me), an evolution from txt spk and acronyms.

My brother (who is 13 years younger) usually sends weird sentences when he's walking to the gym, out at the supermarket, football, etc. Like today's "Can try it again when get back and let me know if get the verification".

I swear to God he's not thick, but it is blimmin' irritating, even though I love him to bits.

It's definitely a modern phenomenon, I'm not sure if it's related to age though, not in our Loz' case at least because she's a few years older than me

With learning disabilities (no offence). Does she have any qualifications apart from the fluke injection course? Although having a baby is great, what else does her life have? She literally does nothing all day, everyday apart from eat and ask Instagram for freebies. Her life is so dull in that grey house

No, I know exactly what you mean. She writes and therefore thinks, in a very simple, immature way and comes across as either endearingly optimistic or gullible depending on how kindly you want to look at it there is no wisdom to be found in her. We all know that you can't hold men down who don't want kids simply by having one and yet that is her advice to (herself) a follower. And she has NO idea that her begging for freebies is so transparent, or that everyone knows what she really looks like.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

I wonder if she still smokes.....

Hey @265

a couple of weeks ago she posted a picture of herself sitting outside on her table and in her corner was a lit cigarette. So yep. And no doubt the smell on her and Charlie is wafting all over bubba. And they’re probably south oh they keep the door open and the smoke wafts in. Massive cause of Bronchitis for babies is second hand smoke!!!

We all know BBL (Beggy Big Loz) sent this to herself, she’s already begging birthday stuff, BYG (Bewful Young Gel) is very organised isn’t she?

Yep exactly what I thought. Trying to drum up interest like she’s so so so popular. She’s probably still embarrassed from the birthday party Charlie held for her with Pringle’s and Mr Kiplings as food - the party where those Pringle pictures got deleted the next day. . Remember the week before Charlie’s was begging on his Instagram for caterers and a DJ and balloons and I think only a pair of balloons turned up

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

It's definitely a modern phenomenon, I'm not sure if it's related to age though, not in our Loz' case at least because she's a few years older than me


No, I know exactly what you mean. She writes and therefore thinks, in a very simple, immature way and comes across as either endearingly optimistic or gullible depending on how kindly you want to look at it there is no wisdom to be found in her. We all know that you can't hold men down who don't want kids simply by having one and yet that is her advice to (herself) a follower. And she has NO idea that her begging for freebies is so transparent, or that everyone knows what she really looks like.

She is wize bewfelyungel, stop picking on bewfel LozZa xxx

 

[bargainhunt99]

No wonder she got the sack from whichever magazine she had a column in. They probably got fed up of deciphering for her.

 

[Notredamn]

She is wize bewfelyungel, stop picking on bewfel LozZa xxx

I'm sorry I brought shame to the thread, what was I thinking. I need homeopathic medicine! BYG is indeed nashunul treshah, and also ball.

 

[lamaitresse]

No wonder she got the sack from whichever magazine she had a column in. They probably got fed up of deciphering for her.

It's actually staggering to think she got a magazine column at all. Most of the time I need to re-read her internet burblings because I can't understand them. How did she communicate with the New! magazine staff leading up to the "birth diary"? Because I doubt her emails would have been that articulate, either.

And (maybe not counting DM writers) there are journalists out there slogging it out on local papers, working their way up the ladder, post-degree. Yet a thick, fake, boring old lump like Loz gets a page in a magazine because she was once in a "reality" programme! It's obvious she wasn't getting enough engagement or coming up with juicy content, as they binned her pretty quickly once they realised.

 

[Notredamn]

No wonder she got the sack from whichever magazine she had a column in. They probably got fed up of deciphering for her.

can you imagine the exchanged glances after she'd submitted her first column

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

View attachment 843634
look at where the comma is and there is a space after them in both the question and answer. Busted Lozza! We know you can’t spell and grammar is not your thing

and she contacted a homeopathy you know; not a homeopathic…

I just wonder about the intellect of the sort of moron who asks this one for advice? I mean REALLY?????

 

[annabelle_bronstein]

It's actually staggering to think she got a magazine column at all. Most of the time I need to re-read her internet burblings because I can't understand them. How did she communicate with the New! magazine staff leading up to the "birth diary"? Because I doubt her emails would have been that articulate, either.

And (maybe not counting DM writers) there are journalists out there slogging it out on local papers, working their way up the ladder, post-degree. Yet a thick, fake, boring old lump like Loz gets a page in a magazine because she was once in a "reality" programme! It's obvious she wasn't getting enough engagement or coming up with juicy content, as they binned her pretty quickly once they realised.

I worked at one of those gossip mags in their hey day and basically the journalist would ring up the 'columnist', let them ramble on for 20 mins then hang up and then write what they wanted..

 

[lamaitresse]

I worked at one of those gossip mags in their hey day and basically the journalist would ring up the 'columnist', let them ramble on for 20 mins then hang up and basically write what they wanted..

In that case, the journo tasked with interpreting her word salad deserves a medal. Maybe he/she couldn't handle it any longer as it would've been a real struggle to come up with any decent content.

When you see Lauren being interviewed (that video, again, a few months ago with Robert Hisee being a case in point), you learn very little new about her, apart from the fact she's a big head, who isn't interested in what others have to say, has no insight, compassion, self awareness or seems to have evolved much as an adult. She doesn't appear interested in self-improvement either, so what the objective of the "MindKite" video was, I have no idea. I didn't come away from it feeling inspired, nor did I find her (or Mr Hisee) likeable, I just was a bit baffled. Just seemed like two thickos massaging each other's egos.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Now I really do feel sorry for LaNeedsEarPlugs because Goodger said yesterday she talks to her all the time, she’s literally making her daughter dumber with each word. This baby’s going to have bad pronunciation, bad accent, improper sentences, poor we bub!!! She’s not going to have a good start in life.

 

[HeCannitSeeMan]

I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.

 

[Crowbag]

We all know BBL (Beggy Big Loz) sent this to herself, she’s already begging birthday stuff, BYG (Bewful Young Gel) is very organised isn’t she?

Crikey la'rapture was definitely born earlier than loz said.
By approximately a year.

Although as the spelling says 'apart', maybe it's an en masse request from all party suppliers in the world to remain as far apart from loz as possible.

Did you catch that loz? It's spelt 'a part of'. Maybe you will remember that next time you write to yourself?

(companies are fighting to do her birthday are they loz? Oh do duck off.)

 

[Clickbait]

I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
View attachment 844443

Presumably learning what not to do?

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

I may or may not have just reported that boob clenching photo in IG it’s literally churned my guts.

Again- intimating that she might have her kitty out in this photo with larosex.
View attachment 844443

another baby born to a cretin then

Pity is that Lozza has not listened to a bloody word from Other Mums who have Been There, Done It & Got the Tshirt or she wouldn't be making such catastrophic blunders with poor little LaMisérable.

Notice she's not saying stop smoking though, proof enough if anyone needed it that she's still drawing on the Coffin Nails at every opportunity regardless of her baby No wonder they both got brochitis but she'll blame that on having taken baby out in Basic Parka Pram when it was cold

 

[Crowbag]

Those minge trims just don't seem to keep the germs out.
Same with the pram.

 

[Sazbee]

No words

 

[Userom]

Now I really do feel sorry for LaNeedsEarPlugs because Goodger said yesterday she talks to her all the time, she’s literally making her daughter dumber with each word. This baby’s going to have bad pronunciation, bad accent, improper sentences, poor we bub!!! She’s not going to have a good start in life.

I have visions of La'bored being like Matilda. Walking to the library by herself to get books to read while Loz sits in front of the TV with her microwave meal, her parents shouting at her to just watch the tv and telling her she doesn't need an educhasun as they did OK without one