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JakeM

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How's she going to read to the child or help her with spellings? Although they could learn together, it'll be another spaychul mumma/ babygel bond 🤷🏻
Can you imagine her trying to teach Larose the alphabet? 🤣

A is for amasing ormones
B is for bewful yungel
C is for confdent
D is for decrashun
E is for earnings (just like mummy has on her 3rd ear!)
F is for fashuw expreshuns
G is for gawjus
H is for hewfy
I is for I’m a ball
J is for JakeM on Tattuw
K is for kooking
L is for littuw Lawose
M is for mummy’s angle
 
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Facehugger

VIP Member
U can tell her cheap her top is just by looking at the zip.
Also she’s gonna burn her boobs on the stove that’s how low they droop

why can’t she wear better fitting clothes and clothes that aren’t for 80 year olds.
She's borrowed her Nanna's best Bon Marche top, she best not muck it up 🤣
 
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Pom Bear

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I take it she means she is going to Dubai? Her spelling gets worse, they must be split, she ll leave the kid with him and go back to making money as a human toilet 😂😂
I read that as if pronouncing George 'dubya' Bush lol 🤭😅 xx.

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ishaggedhughjackman

Active member
I think the relationship was contracted and the lock-in time is up now the baby is born and over 3m old. Chaz left as soon as he could and I expect they are now looking to sell the story.

She doesn’t seem that upset to me - I think she may have hoped he would stay longer of his own volition, but she ultimately knew it would come to an end post baby so she’s posting boring baby shit until the story is sold. This is basically the same as all those love island “relationships” that end immediately after the show. Surely nobody is truly stupid enough to believe they are real!!??

I don’t understand why zelebs do these contracted relationships and involve babies. Yes you get publicity but ultimately she is now on her own and saddled with a baby as a single mother. Working now becomes difficult unless the job is actually mummy blogging (which is unlikely given that she is basically illiterate and doesn’t have the money to do exciting things with Lasagne that would warrant an interesting blog post) or something that pays enough for a full time nanny (like loose women - which will never happen for her as she is too stupid), and she no longer has the “family” angle to play as she is effectively now a single mum. Everything becomes more expensive. Life becomes more boring and dating is extremely difficult as unless you have grandparents you get on with very well or cash for baby sitting, it’s too difficult.

For the sake of just one sad year of publicity and a baby this woman has basically changed her life to make it ten times more difficult going forward. And I say this as mum to a 15 weeks old baby myself (though my husband isn’t contracted and I doubt is going anywhere soon).

And poor Lambrini. Her parents were never in love. She was conceived for business purposes and has been effectively sold for nothing more than virtual “likes” every day of her short life.

honestly, I would like to see more regulation around these contracted relationships. The zelebs that do them should have to prove proper mental capacity and understanding of the consequences and the contract should terminate if a baby is conceived. I’m also a lawyer so I think I am qualified to suggest this.
 
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and nothing happens

Active member
When I tell you I RAN here after seeing his Instagram story 😂😂 Not a shock at all tbh, he was just a sperm donor at the end of the day, Lauren wanted a baby and she wasn’t fussed with who.

Not a good look for him though splitting with his partner when their baby is in hospital.
 
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Emlou80

Active member
I’ve just sent a follow request to oddbod. If I die tomorrow, I want it stated for the record that it was to see this whole Sorry charade unfold, and not because I’ve lost the plot or my iq.
 
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Crowbag

VIP Member
I'm still deciphering 'if anyone on her good as social media PR dm me'.

I think it's code.
If the 'e' equals 7.3, and 'her' equals Tuesday behind the old Blue Bottle on Winston Street, and 'dm me' means 47 degrees latitude, then it's simple.

We're at war with Uzbekistan and we're all doomed.
 
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abcdabcd

VIP Member
He pushed out a begging message to expired OF subscribers last week offering discounts
Maybe I'm a prude, but I'd never accept my BF and especially not the father of my child do xxx work on the side, doesn't matter if it's 'just' online. It feels immoral and like borderline cheating, and knowing that my daughter would grow up with her father's private parts for sale and forever available on platforms like this would absolutely end it for me. He seems harmless enough most of the time, but the fact that he'd rather sell his knob than go and get a job to support the family he chose to have repulses me more than his dirty sink ever could. Same goes for her of course.
 
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JakeM

VIP Member
In English?? Or Inglesh??
Inglesh of course!

'Hi guys, me an Chaz sadly announcing split. We wish each uva the best going forward an will co parent our baby girl because she our angle. Please respect our privacy at this devstated time ❤

Lauren x'
 
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minnietheminx

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Can’t wait for Chaz’s kiss n tell: some spoilers!
1: Moleman promised me new teef to pretend to be Lacashcows dad, she was already 3 monfs gone!
2: he promised I’d only have to suffer 12 monfs
3: her farts stink
4: her fat arse is down to her knees without Spanx
5: yes they are butt implants
6: she’s fick as pigshit
7: tattlers knew all this already!
 
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Crowbag

VIP Member
So she hasn't attempted anything in la' barebedroom's room yet?
That's part of the fun!
Finding lovely things.

Is there any furniture? Shelves?
She really hasn't done a thing has she.

.... waits for the grey and silver begged things to appear, along with some bland predictable phrases, and a couple of black and white naff prints....
 
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Pom Bear

VIP Member
Whats with the God stuff on her IG? And WTAF does this mean?!!! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
View attachment 848160

Looks like she's going to get her top ear pierced 🤔😀😄 xx.
I dread to think of the third hole looool

It cut? 😄😄😄

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Just saw Wear Earnings Looooooooooooool 😂😅 ..She can stick her 20p OF earnings on her top ear with some sellotape 😂😂😂

Oh that's a beauty!
I don't know where to begin.
But that top ear piercing and your, ahem, third hole are going to be empty for a long time loz.



Thanks , i thought it must be the older one. At least I haven't gone full Dougal just yet.

......

Poor la'complex is going to be so confused.

Who do i look like mummy?
Like daddy? Where is daddy? Why no photos of him? I'm glad he left his teef as my nightlight. I stroke them to remember him.
Who do I look like mummy?
Like you before your Accident? The one that changed your bewful face?
Do i look like today's mummy face? Yesterday's? Tomorrow's?
Do i have your chin? Do you want it back?
Looooooool 😅😅😅😅😅 xx
 
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