Lauren Goodger #44 Motherhood expert in 3 months flat, no one wants a Q&A you awful tw..

[Rita Chevrolet]

I'm more shocked that she claims she can actually read a book in the first place...

Judging by the message wiv dat book its safe to say there will not be any words with more than two syllables contained in it so Lozza might just manage to read it without asking her Dad for help.

I wonder if she's achieved the standard to move on from Billy Blue Hat books yet?

Sign me up, I want to join any movement this man* is a member of (/sarcasm)View attachment 820698
*Raging bellend coke-fiend attention-bleep pensioner who thinks he's 18 years old

I get the feeling Robert Hisee wants to become the UK's Tony Robbins (who is also a charlatan with a huge ego)

"Serial entrepreneur" eh? I suppose you can call it that if you get your rich and faymuss brother to finance all your escapades

 

[HeCannitSeeMan]

Wouldn’t “serial entrepreneur” indicate the the first few ventures failed?

 

[Notredamn]

God that Wayne Lineker is The Ick personified

All the witterings about that journal...it's all so very...simple. 'you was, there is, he gift me' why don't all of them just sit down and focus on speaking and communicating properly? The basics.

The desperation in mentioning that her baby is the best, everyone thinks so, she's the most loved, is just tragic.

Also, one or both of the Goodman sisters would like their face back. She looks to have manifested it in the bath pic where the baby is using her right tit as a pillow

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

God that Wayne Lineker is The Ick personified

All the witterings about that journal...it's all so very...simple. 'you was, there is, he gift me' why don't all of them just sit down and focus on speaking and communicating properly? The basics.

The desperation in mentioning that her baby is the best, everyone thinks so, she's the most loved, is just tragic.

They all need to get back to basics - Billy Blue Hat books all round

 

[Chi4]

That baby looks like Ch’Arg so much ! Deffo his lol

 

[ishaggedhughjackman]

But… doesn’t she bathe OralSe.x in a baby bath?! All that advice on how to bath babies and all those products on sale to make bath time safe and fun, and yet apparently they are all wrong - Lozza knows better?!

 

[Sjr2607]

you dont need to use a filter Chaz, your tit teeth are already like this

Ehats going on in this photo? Her shoulder looks like its attached to her head. I bet poor Larose is cold as not submerged in water poor thing

 

[Userom]

Larose already correcting mummy’s spelling

 

[Sjr2607]

She has been on here as now edited to say 13 weeks and 1 day

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

But… doesn’t she bathe OralSe.x in a baby bath?! All that advice on how to bath babies and all those products on sale to make bath time safe and fun, and yet apparently they are all wrong - Lozza knows better?!

She bathes the sprog in 100% coconut oil just like she would preparing the chicken in a Thai meal.

View attachment 820924you dont need to use a filter Chaz, your tit teeth are already like this

Ehats going on in this photo? Her shoulder looks like its attached to her head. I bet poor Larose is cold as not submerged in water poor thing

All that child does is sleep but just wait until she's a screeching toddler rampaging about the place ripping up her OF paperwork, scribbling on her perfick sofa with marker pens, vomiting on Lozza's perfick hair, smacking her in the shins with a brick trolley (IF she is allowed any toys by then) and being a NORMAL Child. Oh boy is Lozza in for one BIG shock!!

Larose already correcting mummy’s spelling

She's been traumatised by all the illiterate ramblings from Mommy Dearest; She's already more intelligent than her parents in combo

Larose already correcting mummy’s spelling

Oh and stick a few more bows on the kid too, gift wrap her like a Christmas present, why not eh??

View attachment 820924you dont need to use a filter Chaz, your tit teeth are already like this

Ehats going on in this photo? Her shoulder looks like its attached to her head. I bet poor Larose is cold as not submerged in water poor thing

I've just twigged something - he IS working, not just willy-waggling on OF!!!!

 

[JakeM]

She has been on here as now edited to say 13 weeks and 1 day

My angle

 

[So so able]

Wayne Lineker is a massive bleep. Businessman since he was 14 . . . he'll have been working on his dad's market stall and selling tabs at school, bleeping dick.

So Lawhateverhernameis is 3 months . . . and 13 weeks and a day. Can someone do the math for me please? Is she three months or six months Lozz???

 

[Notredamn]

Lauren since you read here, is that Olaplex conditioner any good? Been meaning to get some

 

[Krm2011]

Larose already correcting mummy’s spelling

Oh my goddddd that's hilarious

 

[AimlessShameless]

Lauren since you read here, is that Olaplex conditioner any good? Been meaning to get some

To be honest I have used no 4 (shampoo) and no 5 (conditioner) and it isn't worth the money - the shampoo is alright but the conditioner makes my hair feel like straw - really not worth the money in my opinion

 

[Notredamn]

To be honest I have used no 4 (shampoo) and no 5 (conditioner) and it isn't worth the money - the shampoo is alright but the conditioner makes my hair feel like straw - really not worth the money in my opinion

oh really! I've found the no 3 to be ok - nothing dramatic though, and had been thinking maybe the rest of the range was expanded as a bit of a money spinner. Thanks for the heads up

 

[Krm2011]

Babies having a full blown convo I can't cope

 

[Userom]

It baffles me that she’ll post something from her account then log in as babyLarose.x and post something as if it’s the baby saying yes I love you too.it’s just wrong man, wrong…!

Who has the time to log into one account add a pic, write a post and then into another account and comment. It is just so pathetic. Why would any one bother

I know school mums that do this. Have multiple Instas and like and comment on their own posts!! I do not get it ! Just cringe.

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

My angle

So obtuse!

 

[Clickbait]

Who has the time to log into one account add a pic, write a post and then into another account and comment. It is just so pathetic. Why would any one bother

Also drawing on that fake beauty spot for the ‘gram. What’s really sad is that she seems to appreciate the natural beauty in her child (aside from the daily oiling up) but she continues with the multiple and unnecessary treatments, procedures and interventions on her own body and face to achieve a look that ages her and will make her look less and less like her own daughter.

If she believes her daughter is perfect just as she is, how would she feel if she turns round in 10 years time and starts wanting the fake eyebrows and bigger lips? And then 5 years after that she wants tattoos of her boyfriend’s name on her vag or wrist, huge breast implants, a spacehopper arse? It’ll be an interesting conundrum.