Lauren Goodger #44 Motherhood expert in 3 months flat, no one wants a Q&A you awful tw..

[Clickbait]

Congratulations to @annabelle_bronstein for the winning title which I’ve had to amend slightly to fit and hopefully be allowed by the Mods

Fairly quick round-up as she’s been boring AF and in sloth mode.

She had a tit birthday party at the rented bungalow with basic party food and very few friends. She wore a stupid hat and ugly dress, took photos from the moon and filtered herself to kingdom come which was pointless once her sister and friend showed the unfiltered versions on their instagram.

She got a new sofa which she apparently paid for. It has an extra large ledge for her ginormous arse cheeks. Her dolly baby has already been used as a prop on it.

Chaz finally got his new teef. They looks suitably ridiculous.

She wants everyone to know she is breast feeding so gets her tits out at any opportunity with Chaz watching on creepily. Weirdly her nipples don’t seem to be front on and have migrated to under her armpits.

We’ve also had a few new faces - mostly alien-esque and a much anticipated car park walk that seemed pretty out of date and didn’t feature a nylon jumpsuit or any balloons. Disappointing.

Previous thread can be found here:

Lauren Goodger #43 La'Rosylee-cuppatea, loz'll make you obese by the time you're three

Congrats to @Crowbag on the new thread title. Very fitting we hit a new thread on her birthday. BYG has been smothering poor baby Larose in mountains of oil; predictably she complained in a Closer article that she's been trolled about her new mum Bod, then said in her stories she doesn't know...

tattle.life

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Congratulations to @annabelle_bronstein for the winning title which I’ve had to amend slightly to fit and hopefully be allowed by the Mods

Fairly quick round-up as she’s been boring AF and in sloth mode.

She had a tit birthday party at the rented bungalow with basic party food and very few friends. She wore a stupid hat and ugly dress, took photos from the moon and filtered herself to kingdom come which was pointless once her sister and friend showed the unfiltered versions on their instagram.

She got a new sofa which she apparently paid for. It has an extra large ledge for her ginormous arse cheeks. Her dolly baby has already been used as a prop on it.

Chaz finally got his new teef. They looks suitably ridiculous.

She wants everyone to know she is breast feeding so gets her tits out at any opportunity with Chaz watching on creepily. Weirdly her nipples don’t seem to be front on and have migrated to under her armpits.

We’ve also had a few new faces - mostly alien-esque and a much anticipated car park walk that seemed pretty out of date and didn’t feature a nylon jumpsuit or any balloons. Disappointing.

Previous thread can be found here:

Lauren Goodger #43 La'Rosylee-cuppatea, loz'll make you obese by the time you're three

Congrats to @Crowbag on the new thread title. Very fitting we hit a new thread on her birthday. BYG has been smothering poor baby Larose in mountains of oil; predictably she complained in a Closer article that she's been trolled about her new mum Bod, then said in her stories she doesn't know...

tattle.life

Hahahaha. Brilliant roundup. And awesome title!!

 

[lamaitresse]

Haha, I love the thread title. I'm forever pressing NO on her Instagram Q&As, yet they always seem to be in the affirmative. It must be all those bots.

 

[geordiegirl]

Oh do duck off Lozza

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

‘We on cloud 9’ is she okay????

 

[Krm2011]

It's like a 6 year old explaining what a good day they had in school....she's bleeping docile

 

[Clickbait]

Oh do duck off Lozza

Yeah, so psychic and all-knowing she gets 3 wrong-un’s names tattooed on her body and doesn’t end up with any of them. Thick as mince.

 

[lamaitresse]

View attachment 807463
‘We on cloud 9’ is she okay????

It was kinda inevitable Lauren was going to turn into a baby bore. Apart from the shape shifting/face changing picture edits, car park strolls, shopping for fake designer tat, OnlyFans bait and switching and taking pictures of her (bad) cooking, she wasn't doing much before she had LaRose.

She did allude to all sorts of "paper work" she has to do, wonder what the heck that is.

I'm sure if you're paying for a psychic session, they're going to say tit that flatters you and makes you want to come back for more (ie, spend more money).

It's nice to know she's going to bed feeling spiritual and with her head in la-la-land. As usual.

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

Yeah, so psychic and all-knowing she gets 3 wrong-un’s names tattooed on her body and doesn’t end up with any of them. Thick as mince.

If only she had predicted the explosion in her tanning shop. Plus the other things that could have been avoided along the line

 

[JakeM]

Psychic? She’s not a very good one. If only she could predict when the paps will be carrying their wind machines.

 

[mchops]

Got any lucky Heather or crystals loz?

 

[Crowbag]

Oh do duck off Lozza

Is she's so psychic why did she need to have a reading done?
Couldn't she see it in advance?

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Yeah, so psychic and all-knowing she gets 3 wrong-un’s names tattooed on her body and doesn’t end up with any of them. Thick as mince.

She’s Psychic that’s why she spent all her money back in the day because she knew she was going to meet a rich successful man. Ohhhhhhhhh, he’s not rich, he’s not successful and he’s not a man.

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

Psychic? She’s not a very good one. If only she could predict when the paps will be carrying their wind machines.

She clearly didn’t see her future in a grey rented house with a 24 year old boy, surely? She must really be kicking herself seeing Mark & Michelle’s newly built home.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

She clearly didn’t see her future in a grey rented house with a 24 year old boy, surely? She must really be kicking herself seeing Mark & Michelle’s newly built home.

It’s always the case that when Marks house makes it to the DM, she posts some “amazing” thing about her life that is just amazing. But we all know she will never be happy without the bling and the castle. She’s a fame money hungry ho with fake Chanel’s and fake LVs to make her feel like she fits in with the crowd but without the face or personality or brains to match.

 

[JakeM]

She clearly didn’t see her future in a grey rented house with a 24 year old boy, surely? She must really be kicking herself seeing Mark & Michelle’s newly built home.

Personally I find it hilarious. You just know that she thinks her life is better than his. I wonder why psychotic Loz didn’t predict her 'accidental' pregnancy? Perhaps it comes and goes just like her baby bump did?

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Remember she said she just knew she was going to have a girl because she just “knew”. Well, she only had two choices to pick from….. daft dimwit

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

Personally I find it hilarious. You just know that she thinks her life is better than his. I wonder why psychotic Loz didn’t predict her 'accidental' pregnancy? Perhaps it comes and goes just like her baby bump did?

Remember when she would continually post memes when Mark and Michelle got married insinuating that they had a boring sex life etc. She really thought she was better. And to some degree I think she was (relationship wise)… until she dated the guy in jail, edited herself into a size 6, met Chunky Charl, OF and wind machine accusations. The list is endless

 

[JakeM]

Remember she said she just knew she was going to have a girl because she just “knew”. Well, she only had two choices to pick from….. daft dimwit

Yeah, I remember. I believe that was when they first announced? Not even a month later the daft idiot accidentally revealed the gender then denied it when we noticed. She 'just knew' but she didn’t know? She can’t keep up with her own lies.

Remember when she would continually post memes when Mark and Michelle got married insinuating that they had a boring sex life etc. She really thought she was better. And to some degree I think she was (relationship wise)… until she dated the guy in jail, edited herself into a size 6, met Chunky Charl, OF and wind machine accusations. The list is endless

She is an embarrassment. Believe me, I’m no fan of Mark, however when the relationship ended he didn’t continue to go on and on about it. Lauren on the other hand, you couldn’t shut her up about it.

 

[Cazza81]

I think Loz is confused, the person doing her reading said she's psycho, not psychic