Lauren Goodger #32 Tattle paps in JD store, unfiltered arse hitting the floor

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Me thinks she could be in for a bit of a shock! When I was heavily pregnant, one of my neighbours gave birth. I asked her how she was getting on and she said ‘I didn’t know it was possible to be so tired, and still be alive’. Oh Lauren, you ain’t seen nothing yet
Is she mad? With a balling child demanding your tit every 90 minutes?

Still remember the "hanging /burning to the bones" feeling when my little one was tiny, and that's with a hubby who was actively assisting and not leaving it to me. She really is blinkered. If she thinks it's all going to be fine to sleep when Laulie sleeps, she needs to know there is nothing worse than being forced awake just as you are going into deep sleep because baby has decided she just needs a few minutes sleep! Really surprised she hasn't listened to proper advice. Oh wait Lozza knows best and is an expert on everything.
God yes. It’s a form of torture. That’s why I only have 1. The newborn stage is horrific.
I wonder if Chaz is going to basically look after it 24/7 because she’s ‘working’ and he’s not ?
 
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I remember the video where she was adament she had not had anything done to her jaw, calling the paps liars then a few days later admitting she had and got them removed
I think that's the kind of tit that brought us to these pages!
Also, there has literally NEVER been a better time to jump on the body positivity band wagon, silly moo would prob get a load more followers if she decided to ditch the embarrassingly obvious fake image.
 
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Every mother in the land now needs a slap to the back of the head as their eyeballs have rolled so far back they are stuck. Help a girl out here?

More sleep? Course you will love.
 
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Great piece on BBC news this morning about the dangers of unqualified people doing injectables and non surgical face lifts. Just goes to show how dangerous people like Lozza are 🤬
 
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Me thinks she could be in for a bit of a shock! When I was heavily pregnant, one of my neighbours gave birth. I asked her how she was getting on and she said ‘I didn’t know it was possible to be so tired, and still be alive’. Oh Lauren, you ain’t seen nothing yet
Exactly what I came on to say! They’ll have a night nanny round in the first week
 
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Is she mad? With a balling child demanding your tit every 90 minutes?



God yes. It’s a form of torture. That’s why I only have 1. The newborn stage is horrific.
I wonder if Chaz is going to basically look after it 24/7 because she’s ‘working’ and he’s not ?
For me newborn stage is bliss 🤣 best part but both mine were chill then 😭
 
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She reallly has no idea lol
Does she think the baby will just sleep all the way though the night 🤣 she will be up every 4 hours and feeding. Changing nappies 🤣
 
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Every time I think I’ve reached the maximum amount of stagger she posts something also and I’m staggered yet again.
Lozza just. stop. posting. Seriously it’s so cringey at this point my arse is clenched tighter than yours will be for the first post birth poo experience.
You don’t know jack about what it will be like. Sure you think you do but believe me you have no clue how different life is going to be once your child is here. It’s a special kind of head bleeping tired with a baby newborn and beyond.
 
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Ahhhhh she's the gift that keeps on giving!!!!

I haven't had kids but like @Katie8ee I fully rolled my eyes at that bloody ignorant statement about sleeping when the baby sleeps :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

I can't wait for bewful baby gel to be here and watch the calamity that ensues!
 
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At the rate Lozza is going, she’ll be competing with Whitmore for the “supermum” crown before it’s even born.

Reality will really wake her up.
 
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Oh god, the first six weeks of caring for my first born was pure torture. It isn't just the sleep, it's constantly worrying about caring for a newborn. She is in for such a shock. The crying! And it's all times of the day. When you can't calm them and you don't know why. The worry about milestones. Are they eating enough? Not pooing enough? Why won't she sleep? Surely it's time for a nap. Why doesn't the baby like the pram? Why does Lauren think it's going to be easy!!!
 
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Blow up her photos and bleach her skin apparently not to be confused with Lauren shrinking her photos and filtering her skin.
She actually believes this, I'm convinced. She literally sees something different in the mirror than everyone else.
 
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She actually believes this, I'm convinced. She literally sees something different in the mirror than everyone else.
Yep. She does. She sees " hot momma with a neat/small bump....hot stunning tiny momma" LOL
 
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Me thinks she could be in for a bit of a shock! When I was heavily pregnant, one of my neighbours gave birth. I asked her how she was getting on and she said ‘I didn’t know it was possible to be so tired, and still be alive’. Oh Lauren, you ain’t seen nothing yet
My daughter, bless her .... didnt sleep well and screamed/cried near to two years before she eventually settled into a routine, it was hell on earth ` sleep? what was that `:oops: ..... ohhhhh lozzz you have no idea! this now, is the easy part:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
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She actually believes this, I'm convinced. She literally sees something different in the mirror than everyone else.
When her local fairground closed she ought the contents from the Hall of Mirrors binned those which made her bigger only two though. She bought them when she was 20 , smashed the two fattening ones and she is so pleased the 2 x 7 years bad luck have now ended she's met the boy of her dreams and having a baba. Sadly when Chaz was hammered the other day when he was out with the boys he was ' practising ' for the sink , stumbled forward and broke another oh dear!
 
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She actually believes this, I'm convinced. She literally sees something different in the mirror than everyone else.
She’s like that film Shallow Hal, except in her case it’s herself she’s in love with. I’d pity her if she was younger and even now I would empathise with her if she sought help and admitted she had chronic self esteem issues. Because she is alone in thinking the images she posts on social media are a correct representation of how she looks. Extremely deluded and a horrific role model for a young girl.
 
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