Lauren Goodger #32 Tattle paps in JD store, unfiltered arse hitting the floor

[Pom Bear]

Gives a whole new meaning to Broke Back Mountain

That reminds me of a pic I made in February x

 

[behindthesofa]

Because she lives in cloud cuckoo land! .... she is extremely delusional, her heavily edited photos are proof ... and those who keep enabling this dimwit are no better .... she will find, a real life breathing lil human being, is not as she thought, some doll to dress up in pretty clothes, looking cute and lovely, a baby is very demanding, particularly if its a croucy one, who wont settle whatever you try .... feeding, sleepless nights, worrying, and the rest of it, I do not miss at all ... saying that, as they grow older, you have new things to stress about, it really is lifelong commitment

And all of what you have said here pretty much covers why I'm 40 and don't have children of my own! That, and I've never had the urge - I think my biological clock must be digital.

Mothers, I salute you. Responsibility for rearing a separate human being into a well-rounded adult terrifies me.
I seriously think that Lauren thinks it will be like having her very own Tiny Tears doll to dress up, and carrying it around for 9 months is the hardest part. My friends who are parents reiterate to me just how hard and utterly life disrupting it is.
She said she thinks 'being a mum just comes natural to you'. Her life has no routine and she doesn't work, the only time she leaves the house is to get beauty treatments or to be photographed, how is she going to miraculously become responsible enough for another person?

 

[Caw1982]

She trolling us.
I've never known any woman go on about the bump like she does.
Reviewing her fucking stomach like its a hotel on Trip Advisor.
For who's benefit is this you massive fucking cunt???
I don't get it

 

[NinaStar90]

Hi gelz, this yung gel is orf the ginz (50 days tomoz!) so ah got a ice cream. Only wun mind you, I dont have Lozza's amazin metabolesm and stron ormones to stay size 8 and eat 4500 cal a day

 

[minnietheminx]

Come on listen to my story about a man named Charles, a poor builder in debt up to his arse, then one day he was climbing up a roof, and up from the ground came KP to his rescue!
Free food that is, cold beer, freeload!
Well the next thing you know Charles is out on his ear, KP said your not welcome here, said ‘big Loz’s knocked up that’s where you need to be’ , so he loaded up his bin bag and moved to be her baybee daddy...,
Essex that is, towie stars, Melin!
Well now it’s time to say goodbye to his waist and his friends, and he’d like to say thanks to KP for shoehorning him in, your all welcome back for the birth of Laulieeeee, if you give us freebies for our baybeeeeeee and me!
Free food that is, crusty thongs, leaky milk!
Y’all come back now y’hear?

 

[Pom Bear]

That must be the wind machine disguised as a plant pot. She is literally as famous as Princess Diana. Hounded by the press.

Loooool xx.

 

[fluffyglitterbug]

No way is this fitting big Chaz, he’ll have to frame it!

"He true supporter"

She even speaks neanderthal

 

[wrongturn]

That fucking photoshoot man. She is so SMUG.

What a weird way to make a living. Imagine 100 years ago if people got a glimpse of the future...

 

[WordSalad]

Anyone fancy a trip to Chelsea on 11th September? Bring your wide angle lens

 

[Notredamn]

Evening all I've just zapped through the last thread to catch up and can say you saved the best til last with those videos and when I say the best, I mean the worst! Big Loz probably thinks twerk is where Chas goes in a morning, when he is grafting mind. She doesn't pop her hips or put her back into it, just shakes those heavy looking implants from side to side. I feel offended at myself even viewing the vids - disgustang! Going to get some cucumber slices from the fridge, pop them on to my frazzled eyeballs, lie back and try to forget.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I am so glad I have my own office at work (I am a very important bewfel yungel who is so bewfel and yung and important that I need to kept apart from everyone) because I keep cackling so hard reading all this! Loz - you are comedy gold, I'll give you that.

 

[DustyRose]

View attachment 635352

I can’t be the only person who finds this utterly ridiculous can I? It is absolutely vile! Trying to recreate some Marbella pool party but it’s going to be cold and raining 70% of the time. Money can’t buy class or taste! Vile vile vile.

 

[Blowup80]

Those legs are dreadful and that was from years ago...


I have this idea in my head that she actually believes a stork will deliver her baby.

Bless her, we all have fantasies. Lozza's is having a bewful baby gel handed to her wrapped in silk after a 2 minute laybeh all clean and smelling like talc. My fantasy is sitting on Jake Gyllenhall's face but hey we can't have everything!

 

[Crowbag]

All this planning and layering of lies, all the photoshoppery, all the constant , constant, constaaaaant deception. All the defiling yourself, prostituting, carpark roaming, sink wankery, shit facery, desperate beggary and buggery.

For what? A small rented flat with a borrowed paddling pool, a nightly takeaway, and being ridiculed by the vast majority who know of her, and a blank 'who? ' from the rest.

I'd rather eat my own eyeballs.

 

[fluffyglitterbug]

Jokes aside. She has body dismorphia.

No other explanation.

Most people connect that to body builders and “bigorexia” and those with the weight of a leaf but think they are obese.

She is an odd version but experts think it’s from childhood trauma.

She simply does not see what others do, hence the “wind bending, glass twisting” that paps do.

It’s a mental condition.

Nothing except therapy and meds will help.

On the other hand, he is a victim of Stockholm Syndrome now.

Wait for the begging for bariatric surgery

Beggyatric surgery

 

[MunHun]

Like many of you have already expressed I am just flabbergasted at her ‘positive’ opinion of her stomach. Pregnancy is the one time in life when us women can actually enjoy watching out stomach grow to epic proportions, knowing the expansion is due to a little tiny human getting ready for life all going well. The bump is literally housing a little miracle and it doesn’t matter one fucking bit what it looks like everything that’s important is on the inside

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

She's been spotted out!

 

[Blowup80]

Fucking Honking I love it when a Glaswegian pops up on comments (got to be, surely). Btw, I'm Glaswegian

FOR GOD'S SAKE. That CGI head looks as though it's been superimposed on to her (slimmed down) yeti shoulders. She isn't even trying to look human any more! You could write an essay on all the edits and filters that photo has.

A bewful size 8 with a neat bump
View attachment 634317

What a fucking twat. As if, at 34 years old, you would post this. Editing yourself so much you look like 13 year old. So concerned about her moon face she didn't even think about her camels hoof . Fucking howling. The absolute dick

 

[Clickbait]

The home birth is a cover story so people don't give her grief for a planned C-section. The tummy tuck will follow in Turkey #gifted... Although have seen some "Insta slebs" in the US have the tummy tuck rolled into the C section surgery

Just imagine if she’s staged the water birth already, taken loads of photos that have been photoshopped and she’s already booked in for a planned c-section. That would be next level Lozza fakery! Also she would look completely ridiculous pouting and eye-fucking the camera as she did during her rush to hospital with ‘anixtey’ a few years ago. It would be peak Loz jumping the shark and may hopefully get her written off into obscurity like Josie Cunningham

 

[username123!]

Imagine posting anti vax crap when you’re not educated enough to know what’s in your bum or face