Lauren Goodger #28 Pregacy almost ending, covid rules bending, still not trending

[Userom]

Who fucking plans to take selfie’s while giving birth. It’s just so bloody tragic.
You are in pain, you are stressed, it fucking hurts, it’s scary, you don’t even know where your phone is let alone have it to hand to take some selfies to photoshop the hell out of.

she really lives in cloud cuckoo land.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Oh dear. He’s going to be in trouble for posting this. Gave her a new face (including what looks like a left hand side beard ) but forgot about editing the rest. Wow

 

[Facehugger]

Right, you lot. All this bloody birth talk on here yesterday! I was writing my shopping list last night whilst Tattling as well, I've just looked at it..............

I've only gone and put Vagina Blitz kitchen roll instead of Regina Blitz

Lozza's pregacy has now officially driven me round the bend

 

[wrongturn]

She thinks she’s a proper starlet. Imagine being that delusional

 

[Badirene]

Exclusive photo of Loz's new VIP motor!

 

[Sasha Sinclair]

Well there's a minute of my life I'm never getting back. Why was that even published? My week was more exciting and I'm not even a bafta winning bewful yungel.

 

[Sazbee]

4 figures for a picture of her vagina which could just be a picture off google for all anyone knows! Feel like I’m missing a trick here with only fans.

 

[abcdabcd]

Does she have Only Fans confused with Instagram this morning?

 

[geordiegirl]

Here you go Scrunchies....

Fairy lights, spray tans and a masseuse?!?! Does she think the bairn is just going to slide out instead trying to push a watermelon through one nostril?

 

[Pom Bear]

They were previously used as a rain cover when Wimbledon was last on, now they have more skid marks than the M25.

This made me laugh so much and had to be turned into a pic xx.

Back later

 

[Gembo]

Which bit of a couple being on a beach, one needing a wee and the other saying why don’t you go in a bush would make hilarious prime time tv viewing? Think she’s definitely fishing for a TV show offer there but it’s a bit deluded. I can’t believe they’re funny at all and even if they have a laugh sometimes I doubt its tv viewing. It’s like when you’re having a laugh with your best friend and joke ‘we should have our own tv show’ yea but no!

 

[Badirene]

Look, I write about products for the construction industry. It's Hardly Dickens. Hardly Dickens was the lesser known brother of Charles. He wrote product information for the construction industry.

Little known fact.

We need a magazine!

The notion of a cookery section has made me cry with delight!

Off topic but Hardy Dickens would be a cracking porn star name.

 

[liar liar]

Is this THE mole-man?
And the way her face looks super-imposed because of the filter in the pool just made me lol

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I want to put my fingers up his nostrils and bowl him down the nearest 10-pin alley.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

Here’s some amazing stories for ya. More simple than a two year old could write.

Omg when she says her and Charlie are comical and should be on a show. What a dickhead. As if people who make shows read her dimwit column. Trying to influence people into thinking they’re funny. Keep begging you loser

 

[mrbusiness]

Has anyone told her that you shit yourself during labour?

 

[behindthesofa]

Fuck me. The column this week…



Obviously the NHS hospital is going to allow her to bring in untested electrical items and naked flames into the sterile delivery suite. In fact, they’ve suggested a fire pit and a wood-fired pizza oven in case she gets peckish.

They also don’t think it’ll be important to speak to or treat her as their patient, instead they’re going to deal directly with her private midwife using telepathy and should Big Loz want some more privacy so her masseuse can massage her ouchie noon bone, they’ll scale the outside of the building and communicate through the glass using sign language.

Either she’s been smoking crack, her excess filler has migrated to her brain, she’s genuinely mad or she’s trolling us. No sane individual can make these claims in a public forum.

I'm going to say she just has no fucking idea at all what giving birth is going to involve-and this is coming from someone who has never given birth!
I have, however, as a vet, helped many an animal to give birth, and if you don't know what a calving jack is then Google it-I would gladly wager that it's gonna be more use than the masseuse for Lozza.

 

[JakeM]

“I am pregnancy glowing”...where to start?

It doesn’t make sense
The only time she glows is when she has a filter on
In what world does she have a pregnancy glow?


“I say baby girl and she kicks”

Yes, she’s telling you to stop as your voice is irritating.

 

[AlwightDallin]

I would think that’s why Loz is squeezing every last penny out of fame - she’s just not educated enough to have a career or own a successful business, and she knows it.

I remember Abi Titmuss (John Leslies ex), she was a nurse who found notoriety when he was up in court accused of all sorts (found not guilty) but when the tabloids found out they did a sex tape they had her on page 3, she did all the lads mags and coined it for ages. But then she trained as an actress, won a stage award, moved to America, got married and had a baby. She seems very happy. She’s embarrassed but not ashamed of her past but she was sensible enough to know when it was over and she had to move on.

Loz still think is she’s a hot ticket rather than a hot mess. She’s offering up puss pics for ‘four figures’ but we all know that’s 1000 rather than 9999, and she’d likely do it for £500. No TV has come a calling for her mummy diary. Ok don’t even put her in print. She begs for food, furniture,clothes, but sells fakes.

I’d have some respect for her if she just admitted she was skint and got a normal job.But no, she’s a celebrity, who put not a penny away for her future, thinking she’d always be in demand.

 

[Blowup80]

Chaz was very excited he got sent to the loo, probably christened the sink.

It's like a story book.
Charlie and Lauren go to Daddy.
Chaz beamed from ear to ear when ordered to go to the bathroom, he loved the bathroom. Lauren, who had ate 34 roast potatoes, had been in there for a while now. Mammy said to Daddy "he's such a good boy our Charlie, always skipping to the bathroom merrily when I ask" Lauren adjusting her underwear when she heard a knock knock at the door let Charlie inside quickly "your turn now Charlie boy, should make enough for a takeaway later, I'll be hungry again in an hour or so".

 

[Bored2021]

First time poster but have been reading threads. I won't repeat lots of things that have already been said, but I can't understand the need to photoshop her appearance so much. It really is sending such a negative message to people who may be influenced by her (hopefully no-one).

On what was likely to be one of the hottest days of the year so far and they have the fire on! Seriously, I've got all the windows open 'up north' and the heating off and a fan on. A fire, seriously?

Don't get me started on the OK column with the grammatical errors and waffle and her ability to get the word 'ha' into almost every article - something I'd see in messages from my teenage niece!