Lauren Goodger #28 Pregacy almost ending, covid rules bending, still not trending

[Blowup80]

EXCUSE ME!! Never mind the face - WTF is she wearing out in public? Tights and a pair of big knickers??? Who wants to eat anywhere near that and remember the actual public will be seeing the actual reality.


He looks utterly thrilled (like a serial killer) as usual.

She's wearing her usual skintight polyester leggings and black top combo. Smelly and flammable as usual

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

Yes to the Lozza magazine,
We could have a cookery section "101 ways with sweetcorn",
A beauty section "Polyfilla and you! the complete home guide to new lips"
A style section, "Polyester catsuits for all occasions"
A parenting section "When you noon goes boom!"
A relationship section " When your Only Fan becomes your only man"
Out on the town guide "From Sheesh to the backstreets, all the places to eat and be eaten"
Exercise advice "Yungel on the run, a new you and new body with these simple (Photoshop) exercises"
A special handiman section for Chaz, "Simple pipe handling techniques for your blocked sink"
A career section "#Busycunts get the job you want with no effort (the simple art of pretending)"

Brilliant, although you forgot the Travel section: Those must see but little known car parks in Essex back streets with the uniquely quaint wavy cobblestones and pathways!

 

[Noonoosanne2]

Ffs!!

 

[JakeM]

Scrunchies, heartbreak, trolls, Piers Morgan, and now anixety. Poor Lauren cannot catch a break! Sumfink needs to be done to help yungels with mentul elf ishoes.

 

[Blowup80]

I didn't. But wouldn't have cared if I did. I think she is going to get a bit of a surprise!

Sounds like she is planning on a home birth.

So that will last five minutes.

Someone said she can't have a home birth because she is a larger lady and so high risk!


Wait a minute did I say larger lady? Sorry I meant Fat bastard!!

Just realised I'm now a VIP!!! Where's @Pom Bear for me badge!!

 

[Blowup80]

hmmmm

Lozza I'll give you 12p and a kitkat.

 

[Facehugger]

Right Scrunchies, where's the vet lady? I'm having a bit of trouble with my middle page ads today, ever since talk last night of calving apparatus, this is ALL I'm getting everywhere:

 

[Userom]

Inspiring ?
How the fuck is she inspiring ?
She is the opposite of inspiring.

 

[Blowup80]

I can see Lozza now waddling in to the hospital with a giant pink suitcase vagazilled with diamante spelling "mum to bewful gel". Getting out her fairy lights asking where she can plug them in whilst Chaz is thinking hope the bitch gets an overnight stay so I can go home and plug the butt plug in!

 

[Uppompey]

"I've always thought girls are more common" this is EPIC!

 

[Freeka]

So this "Cave" resort place is currently running a comp to reward NHS staff with a free stay as reward for work in pandemic but at the same time have gifted a suite to Covid denying, anti-vaxxer who has abused NHS staff publicly online? Way to go on mixed messaging. Very bad PR especially as said bully is probably filming pregnancy porn in their precious penthouse. Ugh.

 

[WordSalad]

#Thread title suggestion
Lazy Loz loves lying in bed, her boobs are bigger than her manager's head.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

She will be stood to the side with extra hair added, her chin cut in half, colour of ronseal, smoothed with not a pore in sight, size 8 to 8. Chaz behind her whispering in to her ear "wish you did look like this you fucking catfish". Chaz looking as gormless, dead behind the eyes and the captive he normally does.
" We so appy babes aint we Chaz"
Chaz thinking about what time the sink is getting unblocked.
True love innit

Don’t forget she’s going to canvas them snd stick them up on her wall. I mean. She’s so bewful and sexy!

7 mins ago she was on OF. But she also posted she’s at her dads for dinner. Do you think she excused herself to go to the loo to get her flaps out at her dads. Or just jacking off some old guy on chat.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Are we having a party once Bewfel yungel Laulie Chardonnay Rose Sauvignon Lambrusco Kylie Cheryl the 3rd is born??

 

[Noonoosanne2]

Bet Charlie thinks he took two different people out for dinner

 

[abcdabcd]

I just can't with them! They're in a beautiful, I mean bewful suite, free of charge, surrounded by beautiful nature, the sun is shining, it's the start of summer, and what do those two decide to do? Draw all the curtains, order some greasy takeaway and watch telly in what now looks like a depressing cave while the sun is still shining outside! Why drive all the way to do exactly what they're doing every day at home?

 

[Katie8ee]

Hello Scrunchies!!! I have missed you all loads this week! Have been training my new team and not had a moment to spare but I have decided to take the afternoon off and catch up/chill out. So before I go and read what I missed I just had to say what the actual fuck was the makeup in the white t-shirt and leggings photo shoot! It was absolutely frightening.

 

[Blowup80]

Here's a cheap alternative to paying for a look at her clunge...

View attachment 599879

Just eating a ham sandwich and thought I'd catch up with Tattle..... Fucks off again

 

[JakeM]

Here you go Scrunchies....

“I’m more scared of having a needle in me”? She can’t be too scared if she has lip fillers.

 

[WordSalad]

Here you go Scrunchies....

Fairy lights, spray tans and a masseuse?!?! Does she think the bairn is just going to slide out instead trying to push a watermelon through one nostril?

Where is she having this baby? Can't imagine the NHS allowing her germ ridden fairy lights into the delivery room. And candles? #fire hazard. Don't think she'll have much luck taking her private midwife in as well as Chas #Covid! Does this mag pay her to write this crap? They need to do a bit of fact checking.