Lauren Goodger #24 Clunge and Plunge sitting in a tree B . E . G . G . I . N . G

[Blowup80]

Surprised she didn't gan up in a heap of flames stood near that lantern the fake plastic twat!

 

[JakeM]

They’re both far too immature for parenthood. Instead of focusing on eating healthily she’s photoshopping her fingers. Says it all really.

 

[Blowup80]

Just looked at her Depop. So if ya fancy a bit scuba diving and an itchy fadge you can get this delight for 12 quid!

 

[Blowup80]

She is a fucking waste of space. Skint? Get a fucking job. Too fat for your clothes? Lose some weight? Removing Instagram pics? Don't post fucking shit. Boyfriend not being nice? Don't bag a young boy to have a baby with. Tattle thread you hate? Don't be a cunt!

 

[BonsaiBobbi]

Before I turn into a pumpkin, it's time to start coming up with suggestions for the next thread.
Yes I know it's page 45 but this thread can move faster than a whippet with a bumfull of dynamite!

Game on!

Yungel's roasties don't look a treat. With her weird pudgy hands and vast swollen feet.

(I just want to join in. But you guys have this nailed every time!)

 

[AimlessShameless]

Thread suggestion
Too much photoshop, still serving up slop, Laulie looks about to drop.

 

[MunHun]

“Well what it is yeah, my Prince Charles woz just avin a moment playing up to the camera, and he started getting lippy didn’t he? Well all these obsessed woman think he proper hates me yeah but that’s not the case he woz just larking about for the camera like when he makes gay porn with his friends in the shower yeah. It’s not real loife it’s pretend like my photos. I wish everyone wuv just forget about it now so I can move on from it like I did Mark Wright”

 

[Katie8ee]

So that's at least nine people spotted on the various postings of the party obv no social distancing or anything. Now she is sending lanterns into the sky so basically just the night time version of those terrible for the environment balloons. Arsehole.

 

[SATCGOSS]

Said she didn’t realise she had so many crop tops! Which one of us is going to break the bad news to her that they are actually full size tops on other people (they are only cropped on her due to a love of takeaways and all things 3000+ calories per serving )

 

[JakeM]

Definitely written by Lauren. The mistakes say it all.

“Hi Lauren, I love watching your stories. Your so lovely, beautiful and your be a fabulous mums I’m 16 weeks pregnant and feeling so lonely at the mom and love watching you and keeping up with things your doing!!! You make me smile I’m a nice person and wish people would give me a chance keep being you”.

Was the last part even necessary? It makes no sense. Must be Lauren!!

 

[Sunnydaze101]

 

[NinaStar90]

What type of shoot was she doing in Portugal? With the amount of filler in her body she could shake all those olive trees to relieve themselves of fruit like the old lady does in the advert. No hands required.

She actually wasn't. She just did a shoot in the same Kent home with the pool that Bianca 'Gascoigne' did. Weird how Bianca was in like Crete and Lauren was in Croatia, but it was EXACTLY the same Kent mansion nice one Moleman.

 

[xyzcba]

She did! I completely forgot about that.

Morning Scrunchies!

I'm beginning to think we need a tattle Wiki page for her on this thread (I've seen it on Hinch's, I didn't stop long over there as I don't mind her) to catalogue all the insidious things she's done so that if newbies think we're being too harsh they can take a look to see she's not not liked for no reason!

•Happy to sell cyanide to her followers as she is too fick to know it's poison and was caught admitting she doesn't care what it is, as long as she gets paid

•Photoshopping an image of her as a kid & pretending it was real

•Following her Ex and his new wife on holiday (or was it their honeymoon?)

•Is the only person on the planet that sets up ridiculous fake pap shots, get the images, crudely photoshops them so they look nothing like her & try & flog to the press

• (& the one that annoys me the most) Photoshops every inch of herself so that it looks nothing like reality, but tries to pretend it is, so that young impressionable girls think it's normal and have an impossible vision of beauty that isn't even normal

•Known around Essex to be absolutely vile to people (messaged a girl in insta telling her how ugly she was and she needed to get surgery)

•Trying to pass off her RIDICULOUS bum as 'natural, just hard work in the gym'

•Is just a lazy, entitled wannabe who's 10mins of fame have long gone and she's desperately clinging on, with no actual talent, that it is embarrassing

Did I miss some?

 

[Pom Bear]

An advert for Chaz's sink cleaner xx.
Time to catch up

It took me a while as I’ve been having to soundproof the basement for when I head out to a restaurant tomorrow and leave the captives unguarded.

Excellent read again xx
I look forward to reading your thread updates..thanks for all the effort xx

 

[JakeM]

I'll do it for you pet

Recap
Lozza is still a twat.

The end.

A twat in a fake relationship. Oh, and she’s pregnant. Not sure if she’s mentioned it.

 

[Sasha Sinclair]

How pregnant is this woman? From what I have seen I think she's due in July (?) but she's absolutely flipping massive!! I am 23 weeks and due in mid-August and my bump only popped out 3 weeks ago and it's nowhere near as big as hers seemed to be earlier this year - if anything I still fit a couple of pairs of trousers... the baby must be gigantic!

I think she's about 60 weeks at this stage . Certainly feels like she's being going on about it that long

 

[Blowup80]

Mummy goals . Your tits not leaking every where and getting more than 3 hours kip and looking at least alive in the morning whilst having a healthy happy baby is mummy goals you fucking twat!

 

[Blowup80]

Slice of toast for me, slice for the dog, then she still gets bit of mine.

Those lanterns piss me off just because they set them off on a Disney film doesn't mean it's ok to pollute the air, trash fields or woodland and sometimes animals. Stood there in her real fur coat 4 sizes too small looking like an appropriate adult for Charles cos he needs guidance round flames.

 

[Notredamn]

here you go and a Scrunchie on her wrist! That bracelet thing looks like it’s cutting in badly you might want to photoshop your leg a bit better too Lozza

How the eff has she managed to make herself look like a mere slip of a thing? In that photo she looks like she'd be 9 stone wet through, with a neat bump but IRL she's about eleventy stone bone dry and rotund from the front, back, sides, above and below

 

[Pom Bear]

Baulk means something totally different - to hesitate, to standback and reconsider... Mrs Dictionary here at your service - also I had to do a lino cut of my surname when I was 12 and I did a pig refusing to go through a gate without encouragement.


Take care - we only have one artiste here after all

Thank you ,xx.

Lauren has to be careful wearing that flammable dress xx.

Beware of naked flame lol ...