Katie Price #35 get ready Jordan, here comes the warden!

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BigBlue2018

NEWS FLASH!

I have spoken to my friend Burka 'The Butcher of Istanbul, MD' and his brother Duman 'The Demon Dentist of Istanbul' and indeed you are correct Liar, their Bosnian cousin 'IVF Ivan' is relocating to Turkey to help run the 3rd business. I'm assisting with their marketing material but I'm extremely concerned.

They want to use the strapline 'Is your man a jaffa, 'cos here it doesn't matter!' They intend to offer celebrity sperm but I fear they will use the lookalikes Duman has installed free Turkey teeth into.

They insist they have the Bee Gees (most of all are dead so how IVF Ivan has got the sperm I have no idea), Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Johnny Depp, Justin Beiber, Price Andrew and Donald Trump on their books as donars. Could believe the last two and Trumps orange skin colour and bald head would compliment Skankys looks.

On another bombshell, little Sid failed his internship with the Butcher and is now back in the UK with his chainsaw. My Dudley has stepped in and is flying to Turkey with his multihead screwdriver as we speak with his chaperone, my good chum Alan Partridge.

Dudley has lost most of his teeth to old age so the Demon Dentist is going to insert a set in payment for his services but I'm a bit concerned with the artists impression.

Meanwhile, Alan has had to fly with a job lot of tungstan tip screws from B&Q in his luggage for Butcher so he can screw Skankys face back on when she next turns up looking for a freebie!
 

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Reactions: 16

Stapleyourtongue

Don't say she jumped out of SPL window yesterday
https://giphy.com/3ouPmOfQ14fzTqR9cU
 
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nomorefakers

Unfortunately I almost bet that they will get free ivf from some shady clinic and we will see the hashtag postings. I hope that I am wrong
 
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peeko

Since the Gruesome twosome document everything
Does anyone know where I can find pics of the epic engagement? Marquee in the garden etc ?
 
Reactions: 10

Lucid30

Stapleyourtongue said:
And the picture with Kris touching her belly at the Wedding
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Why do her exes just go along with it? Is price really like Jim Jones, David Koresh. Are we all missing the bigger picture, maybe the red tops are under prices spell too.
 
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T

Thegreenbush96

The only way doctors would say that she is likely to be pregnant this year is if she is using an egg donor.

My mum said this morning she dreamed about Katie last night as I keep telling the latest News about her from here. She said in the dream her and Katie went shopping in PrImark and Katie bought a big pink dress.
 
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liar liar

I am now choking to death with laughter - the pics are superb - poor little Dudley. I think you will find IVF Ivan will be in a UK jail so that he is close to Katie when she is sent to Holloway and that they will be utilising the disused underground network with trained rats moving the necessary sperm, needles, drugs, etc., to get KP up the duff. I suggest Dudley is trained to use a sledgehammer to bring down the tunnels and save the UK!

Stapleyourtongue said:
Don't say she jumped out of SPL window yesterday
https://giphy.com/3ouPmOfQ14fzTqR9cU
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Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Don't you remember that drunken pa she did in Turkey telling people not to have safe sex? It'll be on the web somewhere. Think that was where she met Charlie Farley.

Trapper said:
Does anybody know when she will start filming her attempt to boil an unfertilised egg on toast on Masterchef.
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Ah that old favourite... 'How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?'
 
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Harrigan

Sid you have made me laugh but I’m totally lost, I really did think at first you were some way connected with them!

for those of us not in the know who is the Demon Dentist et al?

thanks muchly
 
Reactions: 7

liar liar

Harrigan said:
Sid you have made me laugh but I’m totally lost, I really did think at first you were some way connected with them!

for those of us not in the know who is the Demon Dentist et al?

thanks muchly
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The Demon Dentist and Butcher of Istanbul are pet names for the surgeons who have operated for free on KP when she is in Turkey. @BigBlue2018 knows them <cough>. Hence the Bee Gee pics of some hairy Turks Also, 'Sid' is a script writer with a mad imagination irl.
 
Reactions: 9

Silly-old-Slapper

peeko said:
Since the Gruesome twosome document everything
Does anyone know where I can find pics of the epic engagement? Marquee in the garden etc ?
Click to expand...
We're still waiting.

Might be wrong (ha!) But I really do think that the Henlehall pap shoot (aka Babbygwo Cole's "marquee" garden tat shoot) was the planned staged " surprise" engagement. However they were called out on it before the weekend was even over due to them breaking lockdown rules and although (from memory) Take-a-Dump ran with some valentine pics, I think it was morally too much for even them to turn it into an engagement announcement so they've just waited until there was less shit to report. Oh wait.....
 
Reactions: 11

Harrigan

Thank you so much that’s great. Does Sid write for Harry Hill?

Irl? Is he in Ireland?
 
Reactions: 7

Tamar

BigBlue2018 said:
Sorry I'm an old bat but what does this plug walk thing mean?
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TOP DEFINITION
A plug (or the plug) is a person who has the ability to get or supply hard-to-find items, especially drugs.

OTHER MEANING

The Plug Walk is a dance that was started by Rich the Kid’s song “Plug Walk.” You might have seen your friends, social media stars, or even celebrities Plug Walking lately. If you want to get in on the trend but you don’t know how, just stand with your knees together, pick up your legs one at a time, and keep your arms loose, and you can be Plug Walking in no time.
 
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peeko

Been thinking ( Before you lot start yes I know it’s dangerous) Skanky bought what was a lovely house and is now a shithole, In 2014 for £1325000
Should be worth over £1.64 mill now , The official receiver could not sell it pay off the mortgage and be left with £1000, So prob the cost of repairing it must be horrendous, but she surely must owe lots on it ? There is still two charges on it as far as I know , one for the mortgage company and of course the receiver , can’t imagine how she thinks she’ll be moving back there ? If he had the money to buy a £800,000 house surely he’d be better off paying towards the MM ? Just saying , Just trying to unravel some of their billy bullshit
 
Reactions: 9
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