Can just imagine it in Oh Snarlin
*Mez is stood at Reception dreaming of getting bummed by a 19 year old Turkish Waiter in Summer when a client walks in through the double doors*
MEZ: IYAA LUV. COME IN, WELCOME! *
flicks her bob* .. DO YOU WANT A BREW?
CLIENT: Hi. I‘ve got some appointments booked today *
flicking through her phone*
I’m booked in with Chez at 10 for my lashes,
Lip tattoo at 11
I’m on a cake making course at 12
Booty lift at 1
I’m booked for make up at 2
then tape extensions put in at 3
then I’ll be joining a Hen party at 6pm.
MEZ: AHHH *
claps excitedly like a child* MY BULBOUS NOSED DAUGHTER USED TO HAVE THOSE TAPES IN.. *
looks over her shoulder suspiciously and lowers her voice* SHE EVEN HAD THEM SPRAY PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE GOOOCHI.. SHE USES HEERRRBERST
CLIENT: Aww I follow your Katie on Instagram, she’s been quiet recently hasn’t she *
looks over Mez’s shoulder and sees Mez’s phone light up on the Oh Snarlin Reception desk* - she’d always have a code for Hair Burst
MEZ: ITS THEM TROLLS LOVE, SHES LOST EVERYTHING, HAVING TO LEAVE THIS PLACE *
opens her arms up wide and spins round* BECAUSE SHE DIDNT FEEL SAFE, SHES HAD THE POLICE PATROL HER STREET DAILY EVER SINCE *
wags her finger*
SHE HAD TO EVEN SEND HER RANGE ROVER BACK BECAUSE THEY FOUND OUT WHAT COLOUR INTERIOR IT HAD *
clutches at her gifted ‘
say it with diamonds’ necklace* .. ITS BEEN HORRENDOUS. SHES EVEN HAD TO FLY TO TURKEY TO GET HER CHEST DONE TO STOP THEM FROM STALKING HER!
CLIENT: Wow it sounds heavy that. *
checking the time on her Apple Watch*
MEZ: SORRY I JUST NEED TO ANSWER THIS *
notices her phone ringing and picks it up*
AHHHH MY MATTRESS BACKED BABY GIRL…….OH NO KATIE, YOUR JOKING…*
ranting and raving can be heard through the phone* NOOO.. IVE JUST TOLD A GIRL WHOS HERE KNOW ABOUT THEM WHENS IT GOING TO END……. WHAT, MAIN TROLL?…. I DONT UNDERSTAND KATIE LOVE….. OKAY HANG ON.. SORRY LOVE BUT ARE YOU A MAIN TROLL OF OUR KATIES?
*Client turns around and leaves Oh Snarlin - Cheryl sprints to the front desk and starts to throttle Mez*