Jessontheplussize #35 Jess Your pizzas on fire and contents still dire!

[Furnessian]

I'm on standby with my bat girl clippings and photshop ....

I will update my profile pic as necessary

 

[Skinny]

She did yarrings on purpose which means she reads here. So big shoutout to you Jess, you fucking mess. Have a wash xxxxxxxx

 

[spidermonkey]

I’m starting to think the old owners are taking the piss out of her.

 

[Rnttfl]

Ringing customer services is turning into her full time job. About time she had one

 

[Tiny-T]

I’m absolutely howling at the sofa. She now has two wrong sofas and a fucked footstool. I’d be fucking livid lol. Saying that I wouldn’t have accepted delivery. Soon as I saw the cushions were wrong and the footstool was fucked I would have told them not to bother unpacking.
---
I’ve also just looked at the sofa online and the foot of the sofa is in the right place, it’s over to the right. Sorry Jess , not a manufacturing fault just your huge arse breaking the sofa. I wonder if she realises sofas do actually have weight limits.

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

The clothes look like you'd catch alight If you're near an open flame

Signed by a fat person that is clearly hated by ITS xoxo

 

[obviously....]

Sorry Paul but that champion top is way too tight.
Looks like it's been ironed over a wok

 

[Diddikins]

She’s still got a day or so til the official launch so we’ll have a few more posts of her fist biting “I cannae wait to show yiz what we’ve done. It’s the best print we’ve ever done. Thank yiz sooo much because, like I always say, I couldn’t have done it without yiz”

 

[Diddikins]

How has she been shilling multiple collections this year, raving on about how “it’s my favourite print we’ve ever done” and how beautiful and amazing the clothes are, and yet is uninspired? It fucking amazes me that people are lapping up this shit when she doesn’t even want to wear the stuff herself. How can she bang on about how everything is so versatile and can be dressed up or dressed down and then be “uninspired”.

Also, she’s had that same crop top on for the last two weeks.

 

[BunnyBoo0102]

So hectic so hasn’t been able to open gifted parcels, yet has been sat on her arse 95% of the time watching TV series!
she should try actually working!

 

[Skinny]

But let’s not kid wa-selves

 

[Also_smoke_and_mirrors]

This will never not be funny. It's the flames on the base of the oven, and the pizza toppings on the spatula/shovel/wtf they are called, that does it

 

[Furnessian]

By the time they get to pudding, no one will want any more pastry. Just why did she pick those three dishes???

As for the testing, pair of pigs. Why wouldn’t you want to bring the stuff to the table whole and present it like that?

 

[Blahblah93]

Just got to DFS like a normal fucking person and move on with your life.

 

[traceymrsd]

Anyone know if there is any chocolate left in the North East asking for a friend

 

[Furnessian]

For the love of GOD can this thread stop it with the Bon Marche digs? I actually love them

 

[BunnyBoo0102]

Omg im so excited for the party of the year *bites fists*

 

[Blueberrybell]

I would love for her to be chatting on stories and then the sofa collapses again

 

[Potato_waffle]

Oh man seeing that old Jess article makes me miss the old Jess! The Jess with the hauls from various places, that would take the piss when something didn't fit or look right, from getting stuck in a top to the skits of a car sales man or bin man when the outfits made her look like them.
Instead everything is just plain old amazing now, no fun hauls, 95% ITS crap, just size up or down

 

[LostScot82]

Refuses to buy a new pair of gym trainers as she knows she has a pair but can't find them MEANWHILE owns how many pairs of sandals now????
Make it make sense (which I think should be the next thread title as it seems to be a motto regarding Jessica these days)

Also, the whole "struggling to put together outfits recently" comment REALLY annoyed me tonight. How many clothes does the girl own? How much free time? How many Kollekshuns? Does she actually mean that she is struggling to find clothes in her wardrobes that fit her? That is the ONLY excuse that would make sense right now