Thought I'd watch that podcast.
- It's started badly, less than 40 seconds in and one of the hosts is taking the piss out of QJQ's Bon Marche jacket (admittedly in retaliation for QJQ rudely mocking the host's rather ordinary zip up hoodie.)
- Two minutes later and both lads are ripping the piss out of the fact his jacket has neither collar nor lapels and also his brooch. The veins are more prominent on QJQ's temples but he's maintaining a rictus grin. He looks tense.
- Here he is laughing hysterically at them ripping the piss out of him.
- talking about the Ibiza wedding and going to Ocean Club - "Wayno sorted us out a table, good old Wayno". I have never heard the Balearic Botherer referred to as "Wayno" before.
- boring hair transplant talk. QJQ grows envious of one host's hairline and starts rubbing his head muttering "healthy hair, bro"
"We thought we'd start with your career and then go on to some fun stuff". I laughed at this but QJQ did not.
- "X Factor that's where we first saw you, it was quite a short stint wasn't it?" OJQ passively/aggressively interjects "Fuck you man! FUCK YOU!" and then drones on about his time on x factor. For aaaaages. There are recollections of Nicole Sherzinger glistening with sweat. WTF.
- QJQ makes vulgar joke about the hosts' mother "sliding into his DM's" after following him on Instagram.
- The awkward moment just after he makes his "joke"
- Eleven minutes in. This podcast is shite and boring. The hosts are childish giggly dickheads. QJQ has just got to the part of his Curriculum Vitae Soliloquy where he won DOI. He muses about why they haven't done a "Champion of Champions" series and says he could never have been romantically involved with his skating partner as she was "too bossy".
- The whole time QJQ speaks about Vanessa Bauer he's scratching his face and head like the big liar he is. It's making my head itch watching him and so now I'm scratching along with him.
- Now he's calling himself "The Prince of The Jungle" because he came second in IAC. Prick.
- Host - "Sum up your whole jungle experience in just one word" QJQ - " A dream"
- When blathering on about not believing in the word celebrity (yeah right) he trips himself up. Recalling how he felt about being an unknown going into the jungle he says "I thought I'm just happy to take the cash and run, I've got a family to support". is he talking about then or present day? He didn't have a family then.
- The first thing he said to Zelda on leaving the jungle was "Have there been any bad stories about me in the press? How's my Instagram? How many followers have I got?" Sad cunt.
- Just over half way and QJQ has revealed thrilling behind-the-scenes secrets of IAC like "There's no salt you know" and "Yeah, you shit in a bucket".
- LMFAO he says ITV edited out all his witty retorts when Jimmy Bullard absolutely ripped the piss out of him, feels sorry for Jimmy because it made him look like a bully and Jake look like a victim the way it was edited. YEAH RIGHT.
- On hearing how much Boy George got paid - "There isn't much I wouldn't do for half a millon, know what I'm saying" Yes, we know.
- Lots of boring chat about IAC. Then a stupid quiz where QJQ has to eat mealworms if he gets a question wrong. He eats about half a dozen. When the host points out that it's food for birds QJQ asks "why didn't you get the human eating ones?". Twat.
- QJQ eating mealworms
- We're at the end now, thank fuck. One of the hosts accuses QJQ of farting and shrieks "We've given Jake worms!!" to which QJQ responds "I'm going home to shit myself"
THE END
I hope media companies see this and he gets nothing !!!
ME
