Jack Monroe #99 Great Eggspectations

Droosie123 · Nov 4, 2020

As an ex-midwife I have attended many more Caesarean sections than Jack.
I can tell you it did not happen....well not as she described it.

Firstly you are being closely monitored by an anaesthetist during the op, secondly you have a cannula and fluids in at least one arm.
I have however known women ask if they can have the screen lowered to see the baby as it arrives and that is always done if they want it. Am certain this is what Jack means...but as usually she has to embellish the truth.

Plus unless there was a mirror then Jack didn’t see a thing happening.

acca00 · Nov 4, 2020

Jack says she viewed her own caesarean.

Would any doctor allow this? Maybe the very end - but it's just, as usual, a twisting of the event, or a massive lie.

blurstoftimes · Nov 4, 2020

acca00 said:
Jack says she viewed her own caesarean.

Would any doctor allow this? I just don't believe it for a second.

Your avatar is very cursed

heretoreaditall2019 · Nov 4, 2020

busylass said:
Sometimes the blue curtain is lowered at the time of delivery but not during the actual operation. The patient wouldn't actually be able to see anything anyway. They are lying on their back, slightly tilted to the left and have a huge baby bump in front of them so it's impossible to see what's going on. Why am I even typing this, it didn't happen.

same, babe, I have no idea why I’m typing about it as it’s fucking ridiculous, anyone with a brain will realise this simply isn’t true. It’s another pathetic branding attempt as a COOL TOUGH GIRL, oooh aren’t I gorey and edgy~ all the while complaining about being “bullied” by a forum that consume the content she puts out for us! Either you’re a bad bitch or you’re not hun pls make your mind up!

LavaFlake · Nov 4, 2020

Maybe the Cotswold Co. have periscopes in their back catalog?

Aug1977 · Nov 4, 2020

Boyo said:
Hang on just a mo. I was intrigued. So I went to look. It’s just banana, microwaved to fuck and then lob some chocolate in. Tbf, she does state that it’s ‘not really a recipe’ (no shit Sherlock) but then goes on to spend paragraph after paragraph wittering on about the ‘blissful moments’ and ‘accidental mid morning desserts’. Oh, and it’s ‘virtuously vegan’. I assume if you leave out the chocolate. But then it’s just a fucked banana and that’s a whole different ball game.
PS She says it’s something she ‘wouldn’t mind feeding to the kids....if only I can relinquish my sudden fierce ownership of Every Banana In The House’. You can almost touch the maternal feels.

‘Fucked banana’

JoyceDivision · Nov 4, 2020

Jack NOW, screeching and wailing: I’ve not had a holiday for 7 years!!!!!!!!

Jack THEN: so I’ve just had a great holiday

Tabitha D · Nov 4, 2020

OhHeck said:
Latest Patreon post... Missing Items? Could she be asking the pay-pigs to not @ her on Twitter when the stuff they've paid for doesn't show up lest the cabal see it?

Let's hope the Post Office let her post her wares this lockdown...

FFS. Don’t any of her brainless followers ever wonder why they’ve never actually *seen* any of this online bullying that she claims?
Do I take it that her Patreon subscribers haven’t received the goods? Quelle surprise. Nobody saw that coming.

LavaFlake · Nov 4, 2020

JoyceDivision said:
Jack NOW, screeching and wailing: I’ve not had a holiday for 7 years!!!!!!!!

Jack THEN: so I’ve just had a great holiday View attachment 299079

Vinegar and tonic sounds like something Kim and Aggie would whip up to clean an overflowing bin.

Veronicaaa · Nov 4, 2020

I'm almost tempted to become a Patreon just to see what absolute crap she's spouting.

Cookiecookie · Nov 4, 2020

LavaFlake said:
Vinegar and tonic sounds like something Kim and Aggie would whip up to clean an overflowing bin.

I'm sure that's another weirdo Slimming World thing. Balsamic vinegar instead of Pimm's

PunkyMonkey · Nov 4, 2020

I'm surprised she's not claiming to have performed her own life saving surgery, but given the state of her knives I'm quite glad.

Fruitjack · Nov 4, 2020

Can anyone point me to the receipts from not voting over Brexit?

blurstoftimes · Nov 4, 2020

Fruitjack said:
Can anyone point me to the receipts from not voting over Brexit?

These few paragraphs are perfect for playing Jack-being-a-cunt bingo

heretoreaditall2019 · Nov 4, 2020

PunkyMonkey said:
I'm surprised she's not claiming to have performed her own life saving surgery, but given the state of her knives I'm quite glad.

If she didn’t get marginalised points for having a scar (which she’s referred to as if it’s some sort of horror previously) she’d be telling us how fagan made her give birth on the factory floor and our plucky heroine did it all herself in 3 minutes flat

blurstoftimes · Nov 4, 2020

I was trying to find the contradicting article in which she says she wrote 'not my circus not my monkeys' on her brexit ballot paper but stumbled across this absolute cringe-fest that I don't think I've seen before...

Jack Monroe: My gender is my business

Jack Monroe tells us why removing gender from UK passports is good news...

www.glamourmagazine.co.uk

It's all really bad but this bit in particular is making me want to turn inside out from embarrassment

Captainmouse · Nov 4, 2020

Veronicaaa said:
I'm almost tempted to become a Patreon just to see what absolute crap she's spouting.

How soon do they take the money? Can you sign up, have a nosey, then cancel?

bazzam · Nov 4, 2020

emmer_moans said:
I hate the way she has humble bragged about it as if all women should be silent whilst giving birth. I really wonder what I would say to her if I ever saw her face to face. There's so much to say.

I am sure those sheets are there for surgical and hygiene purposes.

I am surprised she isn't claiming she cut him out herself with her trusty breadknife.

Captainmouse · Nov 4, 2020

blurstoftimes said:
I was trying to find the contradicting article in which she says she wrote 'not my circus not my monkeys' on her brexit ballot paper but stumbled across this absolute cringe-fest that I don't think I've seen before...

Jack Monroe: My gender is my business

Jack Monroe tells us why removing gender from UK passports is good news...

www.glamourmagazine.co.uk

It's all really bad but this bit in particular is making me want to turn inside out from embarrassment

Do they offer degrees in grifting!

Lumpyspaceprincess · Nov 4, 2020

blurstoftimes said:
I was trying to find the contradicting article in which she says she wrote 'not my circus not my monkeys' on her brexit ballot paper but stumbled across this absolute cringe-fest that I don't think I've seen before...

Jack Monroe: My gender is my business

Jack Monroe tells us why removing gender from UK passports is good news...

www.glamourmagazine.co.uk

It's all really bad but this bit in particular is making me want to turn inside out from embarrassment

whenever intersex is mentioned then you know it’s a poorly researched argument. Intersex people don’t want to be involved, there’s no choice for them and actually most of them are actually one sex but may have the genitals of both. Also Jack if you’re transgender man, your not a lesbian.

Jack Monroe #99 Great Eggspectations

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