Jack Monroe #99 Great Eggspectations

[MaggyMay]

In leftover larder she mentioned her oddbox so she clearly has a subscription. I still can't get over how awful they were I felt so sorry for the guests

 

[Tabitha D]

That was Jack Monroe's Leftover Larder. Sadly, we are unlikely to enjoy the dubious delights of watching Jack failing to make a curry live again soon.

Re the shed: it would be hard to top the This Morning “lingreenie” segment for entertainment value.

 

[Alansbigplate]

According to a Source of Mine, that most recent post about bullying and lost items is locked to lowest tier patrons so they can't actually see it without paying more money. And almost all the previous comments are people saying they haven't received anything from her at all. Not a single commenter has mentioned receiving postcards or recipes or anything. Further to that, the discounts she promises for the lowest tier pledge apparently don't exist.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Why is 'forensic' (and varients) one of her new fave words? Do they still show repeats of CSI and Law and Order during the day? She seems to pick up words from here a lot, but it's not something we've used, so must be off the telly

They sure do, Five USA shows a lot of Law and Order and I’m sure CSI too.

As a food writer, all she really should be forensic about is cleanliness and hygiene practices. (I’m not sure if that’s #saltylenny or #factuallenny )

 

[Tabitha D]

She loves rillettes as she first had them at Xanthe Clay’s house

In other words, posh food writer Xanthe Clay invited Jack round and gave her sardines on toast.

 

[emmer_moans]

Amazed she birthed silently tbf usually she can’t shut the duck up about herself.

I hate the way she has humble bragged about it as if all women should be silent whilst giving birth. I really wonder what I would say to her if I ever saw her face to face. There's so much to say.

 

[blurstoftimes]

What on earth?!
View attachment 298927View attachment 298928View attachment 298929

This is why you have no friends and only imaginary whatsapp group chats, Jack

Can just picture the doctors and midwives being like 'congratulations! your little boy is strong and healthy' and her being in a grump because no one has acknowledged how big and brave she was for watching her own c section (if it happened. Which it did not)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Is she going to the pop stars house today?
disappointed you can’t read the patreon comments. Have their been comments on twitter about it?

 

[Switchstreetz]

"Forensic" was used by the press a lot to describe Kier Starmer to the point of satire on twitter, im guessing shes picked it up off there.

She better not ruin AOC for me, that's one of like...two, maybe three...politicians in america i actually quite respect.

If I see a sitting congresswoman on twitter accepting Cackie's invitations to tea for some slop i will riot.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I hate the way she has humble bragged about it as if all women should be silent whilst giving birth. I really wonder what I would say to her if I ever saw her face to face. There's so much to say.

If I ever saw her face to face, I'd throw holy water on her and run away

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

Oh man, I checked in on her at the night feed at 1am and felt surprised she wasn't spaffing her inane election thoughts all over the place. I put it down to the lack of Redcar but turns out I was just too early.

Also, my drug-free labour is still painfully fresh in my mind. Painfully. If she was silent for 30 hours, she was in extremely slow labour because that whole situation hurts like a motherfucker. (No pride or judgement in my drug-free scenario there - I believed the natural birth bullshit. Never again.)

 

[PoorPatrol]

When she ripped the radiator off the wall during labour, was this too done silently?? Probably in slowmo with a violin soundtrack, whilst the medical staff clapped.

Fucknugget

I can imagine all of that happening in silent, spacey, slow-mo with Ride of the Valkyries playing in the background

 

[Captainmouse]

If I ever saw her face to face, I'd throw holy water on her and run away

would she melt?

 

[JoyceDivision]

Morning campers! I’m still grunking AGCJ...

Borderline Diabetes/Hypoglycaemia to be added to the hypochondria ailments list

 

[Aardvark]

Oh man, I checked in on her at the night feed at 1am and felt surprised she wasn't spaffing her inane election thoughts all over the place. I put it down to the lack of Redcar but turns out I was just too early.

Also, my drug-free labour is still painfully fresh in my mind. Painfully. If she was silent for 30 hours, she was in extremely slow labour because that whole situation hurts like a motherfucker. (No pride or judgement in my drug-free scenario there - I believed the natural birth bullshit. Never again.)

[Yes] absolutely - her triple brag of silent labour, 30 hours, and being apparently sassy enough to demand to see the intricacies of major abdominal surgery don’t add up. Who cares if you make a noise giving birth? It’s not even a brag, it just makes you sound like your priorities are in the wrong order. Don’t Scientologists insist their women are silent in labour?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

It’s not even worth typing the various reasons it clearly didn’t happen, but it doesn’t. We needed the blue curtain raising as husb is so tall and they couldn’t as it’s major bleeping surgery they’ve got other tit to be getting on with. You sign consent forms ahead of time as with any surgery, I had to sign amendments half an hour ahead of mine for additional medical bits cos of a pre existing health condition, and they made it clear that they cannot ask you to deviate from the signed plan at any point when you’re on the bed as you can’t give informed consent. This includes the curtain and your broader birth plan. Yet again, she’s lying.

Competitive birthing ESPECIALLY at a time when pregnant & birthing women are so hugely vulnerable is abhorrent behaviour, Jack you are a clapped nitty looking fool shut the duck up.

It’s not Eddie, is it?

 

[Mustard]

In other words, posh food writer Xanthe Clay invited Jack round and gave her sardines on toast.

Xanthe Clay lives in Bristol. I doubt she went on her own.

 

[busylass]

It’s not even worth typing the various reasons it clearly didn’t happen, but it doesn’t. We needed the blue curtain raising as husb is so tall and they couldn’t as it’s major bleeping surgery they’ve got other tit to be getting on with. You sign consent forms ahead of time as with any surgery, I had to sign amendments half an hour ahead of mine for additional medical bits cos of a pre existing health condition, and they made it clear that they cannot ask you to deviate from the signed plan at any point when you’re on the bed as you can’t give informed consent. This includes the curtain and your broader birth plan. Yet again, she’s lying.

Competitive birthing ESPECIALLY at a time when pregnant & birthing women are so hugely vulnerable is abhorrent behaviour, Jack you are a clapped nitty looking fool shut the duck up.

Sometimes the blue curtain is lowered at the time of delivery but not during the actual operation. The patient wouldn't actually be able to see anything anyway. They are lying on their back, slightly tilted to the left and have a huge baby bump in front of them so it's impossible to see what's going on. Why am I even typing this, it didn't happen.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

[Yes] absolutely - her triple brag of silent labour, 30 hours, and being apparently sassy enough to demand to see the intricacies of major abdominal surgery don’t add up. Who cares if you make a noise giving birth? It’s not even a brag, it just makes you sound like your priorities are in the wrong order. Don’t Scientologists insist their women are silent in labour?

Does anyone get through 30 hours with any energy to sass their way through the finale? I got 7 hours in and let the midwife know if she could just make it stop for a couple of hours, I would have a little nap and return to it with renewed enthusiasm

 

[ScamSandwich]

Jacko going all forensic is the massive chip on her shoulder for not having completed education and therefore needs to make herself look somewhat scientific as opposed to blurting out weird stuff that she later deletes. Also staying up for an election is such a political maverick thing to do, ten stages above the Oscars night.

WhatsApp group. So strange, I just try to imagine her with friends, I mean, real friends you meet live...the image does not work. So the WhatsApp group is the epitome of socialising I guess. But proclaiming your forensic opinion on something is not what friendships are about.