Jack Monroe #96 Not that nice

[FrumpyCat]

I've just been watching conspiracy theorist. Kate Shemirani videos on you tube

Jack, she could be your future; An smal audience of the terminally gullible, obsession with appearance, Horribly bad lip fillers Son giving interviews about leaving home at 17 and how he is only in contact by text.etc.

And Kate also has incidents of being abused in supermarkets etc,, and appears to spend 80 hours a week on Twitter.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Sick of this woman being described as 'bruised' like a putrefying soft soft soft banana. Speaking of bananas, everyone saying they would eat a banana with a curry or other savoury meal - that's actually a Somali tradition! Don't tell Jack though, we don't need a bananasagne or liver and banana casserole.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Guys, if you ever get a chance or able to find the story please read this thread on Twitter. This is what Jack COULD be doing instead of tweeting rehashed stories and her hidden songs. This poor family moved into permanent accommodation recently and the Mum was worried about feeding her two boys and a trust has stepped in to help. Cue hundreds of people offering carpets with fitting, flooring, toys, clothes, household furniture (not sure if it’s Cotswold Co) but the way people have came together has brought a tear to my eye.

And Jack just tweets weird threats about using her body of work and pictures of tit food. Levels.

 

[kachoochoo]

I think you’re right, but God she’s hard to understand. Not sure why she thinks it’s clever/funny/intimidating or whatever? Reading your own thread is generally perceived as quite a sad thing to do and everyone else loves to deny it

Explains the 90 hour weeks though

it's just easier than getting on with "work" isn't it?

 

[KebabGirl]

Been playing catch up all day! Few things.
Matt knows how to win over people with a kitten / forearm pic. No facetune / weird tail pictures for him.
My sister just asked me why I've started using HOOTED in messages. She is very MC now, where I've not quite bridged the gap from our more WC roots. (My username alone shows that!).
Not laughed out loud this much since last year - thank you all for the constant entertainment today, and every day.
CBA commenting on the Twitter diarrhea as I'm sure all my thoughts have been covered more eloquently by everyone else.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I made the mistake of clicking on the Nigella tweet. Some of the replies to Nigella!

 

[JoyceDivision]

I remember my mum buying me the first of copy of a magazine( you know the ones that were a series back in the 90s and the first one was a pound and after that it was like a fiver) that had the planets on it. I loved it.

Magical Music Box!! I still have a couple of mine somewhere

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Jack was only allowed to play the works of Chas & Dave on an "old Joanna" reserved for the oiks who came to school in a van. Only the posh children were allowed classical music.

I love this. Properly made me hoot/guffaw/laugh up a lung or whatever guff JM would say.

 

[Emmapism]

Sweet baby Jesus. It has taken me two train journeys and two hours tonight but I am IN THE PRESENT!!

It's good to be 'home' both literally and figuratively And it's lovely to see so many new names appearing. The cabal grows!

Wondering what Postman Plot Device will get up to next!

 

[Blurp]

Sick of this woman being described as 'bruised' like a putrefying soft soft soft banana. Speaking of bananas, everyone saying they would eat a banana with a curry or other savoury meal - that's actually a Somali tradition! Don't tell Jack though, we don't need a bananasagne or liver and banana casserole.

Probably very 🔺️ but I grew up in the Middle East where all the cooks were Indian. The big weekend meal was curry and there were always little side dishes of tomato, onion, banana, chutney, sultanas, desiccated coconut etc to sprinkle on top as well as the usual popadums, samosas, okra and chilies in batter.

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

I'm behind and grunking, but just saw the lasagne recipe and I've been wondering this for a while - why does everything have lentils?

 

[Scotty1976]

Agreed on snaffle, also can’t stand the word ‘boak’, made even worse by ‘big boak’ makes me want to do exactly that.

Neither are in the Essex vocab usually in my experience.

You probably don't like hoaching,boufin or clatty either. Your ears will be safe unless you're in Scotlands central belt .

 

[Alansbigplate]

I made the mistake of clicking on the Nigella tweet. Some of the replies to Nigella!

Well, I guess some people think hungry kids will just get through unscathed and their mums will manage and all will be ok in the Hundred Acre Wood

 

[NaeDebates]

How did she lay AstroTurf under the stairs in April/May if she hasn't seen the bleeping floor for two years?

But more to the point why the duck would you astroturf under your stairs?!

 

[Walkdengirl]

boak definitely of NI/Scots origin. She’s either picked it up from her NI mother. Or here

Boak is used in the North, it just appeared a couple of years ago

 

[Lanie]

But more to the point why the duck would you astroturf under your stairs?!

Perhaps that's where she gets her steps in. Laps of under the stairs whilst reading the wit from on here.

 

[Scotty1976]

I bet she will make Halloween domino walker’s shortbread fingers

Dookin for apples and having a traumatic near drowning drama !.

 

[colouredlines]

Probably very 🔺️ but I grew up in the Middle East where all the cooks were Indian. The big weekend meal was curry and there were always little side dishes of tomato, onion, banana, chutney, sultanas, desiccated coconut etc to sprinkle on top as well as the usual popadums, samosas, okra and chilies in batter.

No tinned peaches though? Missing out...

 

[PoorPatrol]

Just shows how much her obsessive Twits actually pay attention to her drivel. Nobody seems to have remembered that she has already said she made the cupboard under the stairs into a photography studio. Or that she’s said she does it on the porch because it has free light or that she created one in her giant bay window. Same banal lies, different day

 

[jenny2603]

Just shows how much her obsessive Twits actually pay attention to her drivel. Nobody seems to have remembered that she has already said she made the cupboard under the stairs into a photography studio. Or that she’s said she does it on the porch because it has free light or that she created one in her giant bay window. Same banal lies, different day

It's like she's hypnotised them with her raised "ass"