Jack Monroe #92 Reverse Robin Hood, grifts from the poor to give to herself

[Silver Linings]

 

[MancBee]

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She should always feel "very grubby".

 

[chocolate choux]

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Conned Squiggle out of the rest of their heating allowance? Their entire Universal Credit? Pray tell

 

[Silver Linings]

Oh I forgot, parp!

 

[Eurgh]

4 minutes? For scrambled eggs? Gross. She really can’t cook.

 

[Scarletfever]

Why oh why oh why can't she write a proper recipe. A stock cube can be anything and totally change the flavour. And distilled malt vinegar is interchanged with cider? In what FUCKED UP universe.

The poor squiggles eating fishy vinegar with cherry tomato and stuffing slime.

Plus she is claiming the recipe is vegan, so she needs to be even more careful about being specific.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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bleeping eggs again!!!
Soft soft eggs

 

[Alansbigplate]

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Oh I forgot, parp!

On bread or straight out of the pan? No one leaves it sitting for half an hour first prick

 

[kachoochoo]

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[Toffee finger]

Just say you have no butter left. It doesn’t need the “I’m fine I’m coping” bullshit

Trying to get back in with Hellmann’s by the looks of it

 

[Munchfrausen]

Soft and sloppy eggs?!!!! Seriously!?!

 

[Scarletfever]

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Was it taking £20 of someone's winter fuel allowance?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Wouldn’t this give you the claggiest most viscous mouth going? Surely it presents a choking hazard?

 

[Flash123]

Mayo in scrambled eggs. I nearly boked but then I googled it and of course it has existed for years

 

[Silver Linings]

She hasn’t said how many slices of soft cheap soft cheap, cheapy softy cheapy softy, cheap and soft bread she used. Spoilsport. @kachoochoo

 

[Saint_clemmie]

“my budget doesn’t stretch to butter, did everyone hear that?” “MY BUDGET DOESN’T STRETCH TO BUTTER!!!” Give me money, but don’t give me money, but do.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Hopefully, Stacey isn't feeling like this, eh Jack?
Otherwise, you'd be a right bleeping bullying piece of tit wouldn't you?

“I’m telling you about the worst experience of my life ever (WHY??) but ooh I also need you to know how luxurious and comfortable my armchair is...”

I’ve had a couple of quite minor panic attacks and not only have I never felt the need to relive the details, I haven’t used it as an opportunity to mention my favourite seat

 

[Silver Linings]

Because you were ‘off your tits’? Either way, paaaaaaarpppp!

 

[MancBee]

If the secret barrister is a man she would transition to being a straight woman, so long as he is minted.

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When I was off my face one evening I made someone a coffee but by mistake used gravy granules. Believe me, you could never eat them from the jar. Do they even come in jars? Except for the expensive ones, they are normally in cardboard tubes.