Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?

[FrumpyCat]

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Hilarious.

oh well, at least she knows the difference between less and fewer.

 

[MooBelle]

This is purely a nagging instinct, but I am not sure that he is even with her this week. All this cooking at strange times, well before the meal is required, makes me think that she is just churning out content for her £20 a week output. Wildly speculative, but I can't shake this thought that she is cooking when convenient between Twitter and erratic daytime sleeps, splitting the cheap stuff between the fox and the bin (à la Edinburgh) whilst heating up the Ocado ready meals when hungry. The occasions when he has been needlessly photographed in previous weeks just jarred as intermittent parenting broadcasts.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Am I right in saying the sausage & tiny veg dish appeared on the ‘Autumn collage’ beforehand, so she didn’t actually make it for tea on the night she said she did? She said SB ‘loved it’ but if she was lying about even making it that night then that could fit your theory.

ETA: I honestly couldn’t care less if SB is with her or with his father, and I don’t particularly think that we or her followers should be privy to that information either. I just find lying about small things strange - she could just post recipes and not lie about when they were made, what difference does it make?!

I think the difference is wanting people to believe she's poor and genuinely struggling to live on £20 a week for food. If she just wanted to show how it can be done or show recipes to help people, it wouldn't matter when people thought they were made.

ETA, her "I'm going back to a £20 budget for various reasons" might as well have just said I'm going back to £20 budget because I'm gonna continue to con you all into believing I'm Britain's austerity expert and I'm STILL LIVING IT even though if you have an ounce of wit and been reading my tweets for the past several years you can see I'm full of tit X

 

[MooBelle]

Yup, I'm surprised she's not tweeted about bubble tea or (even further back) those god awful shopping centre stalls where you put your feet in a bowl of leeches

Oh god, we had one in our local shopping centre! About 10 years ago I took my eldest girl for a treat. She was 8 or 9 and had a teey blister on her foot.
She was giggling as the fish nibbled, but shrieked when they nibbled away the blister. It didn't hurt but she freaked because it started bleeding a little bit and the sight of the trail of blood in the water was horrible.
The manager was really apologetic and gave us our money back. Another member of staff savlon-d the foot and put a plaster on. No worries so far and I would definitely have gone back if they had CHANGED THE WATER!!!
Nope. Just let the next customer in and let her put her feet in the tank which had my kid's blood floating around in it...

 

[Walkdengirl]

This is purely a nagging instinct, but I am not sure that he is even with her this week. All this cooking at strange times, well before the meal is required, makes me think that she is just churning out content for her £20 a week output. Wildly speculative, but I can't shake this thought that she is cooking when convenient between Twitter and erratic daytime sleeps, splitting the cheap stuff between the fox and the bin (à la Edinburgh) whilst heating up the Ocado ready meals when hungry. The occasions when he has been needlessly photographed in previous weeks just jarred as intermittent parenting broadcasts.

I thought exactly the same, I am convinced that she is enjoying her ocado delivery and this poverty food is going in the bin

 

[Lanie]

I know she's annoying most of ( all) of the time but FFS, she is boiling my piss with all this covid stuff. Look pet we need to follow some rules for a bit ok??? If we ( you stop moaning and do it perhaps we can all have a nice big family Christmas with all the trimmings. You practically don't leave your dwelling anyway as you live for your sm mates. Just stop being a moan for the love of Christ.

 

[Tabitha D]

I'm not attracted much to men my age if I'm honest so I feel you Allegra (!) but their relationship still gives me the ick because of the aforementioned power discrepancy (that always gives me the ick tbh) and let's not forget, two small children. I know I'm a bit of a judgy cow but alarm bells always go off in my head when it's obvious someone is the adult or 'savior' in a relationship. Or when they're shacked up after a week. Looks like Allegra found out the hardest way possible.

This does seem to be a pattern with Jack though. The relationship starts off very intense - love-bombing, straight to moving in/engagement. Then the chaos is unleashed and it all goes to tit.

 

[Geetbo]

I am absolutely buzzing for tonight’s tuna curry with added dead squirrel she foraged for in Waitrose car park. Hope she posts it soon so I can copy for my tea.

 

[Lanie]

I honestly don't get her beef with another lockdown, she works from home so she can look after her kid, she's up in the middle of the night so she can work (tweet) then. He's a big kid so can entertain himself for a few hours while she works. In fact he would probably prefer it, more time for gaming etc.

She actually had work during the last one and got paid well.....

I am absolutely buzzing for tonight’s tuna curry with added dead squirrel she foraged for in Waitrose car park. Hope she posts it soon so I can copy for my tea.

No not squirrel nutkin

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I know what has its own agency in her household.
The mirror

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How perturbed you are by this mirror really gets me, in the summary “it’s aware”

 

[Malacandra]

Dear hearts, I have had a quick grunka on the Amazon bestsellers lists and it makes for very interesting reading. Very interesting indeed. It appears that no-one is buying her books (I doubt that the numbers sold via other outlets will make much difference).

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s deleted this one.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

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You’re an hole that’s what you are.

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funny the things you make up.

She’d of been about 8/9 when princess Diana died.

 

[HarderFaster]

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She’s deleted this one.

Jack: "I'm not hysterical"

Also Jack: *signs up to a gossip forum and stays for four hours because someone said her cat was a pedigree Maine Coon*

 

[Pocahontas]

How perturbed you are by this mirror really gets me, in the summary “it’s aware”

I’ve consumed too much sci-fi to ever be cool with a sentient mirror living side-by-side in the bedroom I mean, I don’t even enable Alexa or Siri. I can, but I don’t

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

No dinner pics yet!
This whole £20 a week thing is pointless. Showing your shopping and your receipts and then not bothering to showing how that actually feeds 2 people 3 times a day for 7 days. How is that helpful?

Where’s my slop of the day picture anyway...

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack: "I'm not hysterical"

Also Jack: *signs up to a gossip forum and stays for four hours because someone said her cat was a pedigree Maine Coon*

Jack: "I'm not hysterical"

Also Jack: *collapses on the floor for hours at the sight of a 'for sale' sign before getting the saw out*

No dinner pics yet!
This whole £20 a week thing is pointless. Showing your shopping and your receipts and then not bothering to showing how that actually feeds 2 people 3 times a day for 7 days. How is that helpful?

Where’s my slop of the day picture anyway...

It's half past six, Brenda's absolutely starving, Jack! Get it together.

 

[Tabitha D]

Jack: "I'm not hysterical"

Also Jack: *signs up to a gossip forum and stays for four hours because someone said her cat was a pedigree Maine Coon*

Not to mention all the shrieking, howling, sobbing, rolling about on the floor etc. which SHE HAS SAID HERSELF she does, including in front of her kid. Nope, not hysterical at all.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I am absolutely buzzing for tonight’s tuna curry with added dead squirrel she foraged for in Waitrose car park. Hope she posts it soon so I can copy for my tea.

Can I just say, as hilarious as your posts are, I usually start laughing before I've even read them because I catch sight of Audrey's fearsome visage. Jack cooking for the Chawners, now that's something I'd happily pay my TV licence for.

 

[Alansbigplate]

I am absolutely buzzing for tonight’s tuna curry with added dead squirrel she foraged for in Waitrose car park. Hope she posts it soon so I can copy for my tea.

It’s...Brenda’s account