Sorry but am howling. She will be replying tried that didn't work to every single one won't she?
Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo
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And “Jack Monroe opět triumfuje” -Jack Monroe, translator.
SHE’S ALREADY TRIED THEM ALL
Same. Always reminds me of some little hunchback gremlin. Rattling a tip jar.
Still grunkaing but apparently the vegan Richmond ones are the best. The Waitrose cocktail sausages (fancy) are also good-bosh has just done a great sausages on puff pastry vid on their insta. The curry gravy was a bit weird tho, I did onion gravy & a herb wash. Lovely.
So Russell has supposedly (I remain sceptical) interacted with two “working class men” today who used “surprisingly” poetic language. So you were “surprised” they knew such sophisticated words eh Russell?? That’s nice. Very patronising. And that they were working class - relevant why??She has always had a 'type' then.
Squiggle
Eau de nil was much favoured by the late Queen Mother. Before she died, obvs.
Jack Monroe
Replying to
Squiggle
As were 50/50 Gin and Dubonnets for breakfast. I was slightly obsessed with her as a child, it's a long story
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P.S. Russell Brand is trending. I will be most upset if I don't wake up to a scathing essay, full of white hot class fury .... and Bear's accurate Pantone colour.
What an utter bellend.
I suppose his acquaintance with Jack makes a bit more sense now. Birds of a feather.
Just had a look at the Fortnum's website to check their colour, and tried to match it against Farrow & Ball (FANCY!). To my aged eyes the nearest F&B colour is "Arsenic".
I'm not saying anything more tonight.
I'm not saying anything more tonight.
Well spotted. That’s highly probable-she claims her autism means she’s incredibly specific & isn’t seeking to mislead (yeah, right). But the omission changes the whole meaning-a living wage in her view could be literally anything.
Isn't JKR more likely to shop at Jenners or Valvona & Crolla, given that she lives in Edinburgh? (Though the previous Duke of Hamilton did actively avoid Jenners on the grounds of animal cruelty, ie selling foie gras) See, Jack, there are other places than Sainsbury's Local in central Edinburgh!
These are the same morons who can’t work out what to do with leftover slop with stuffing floating in it.
Put it in the bleeping bin. Even Siri could tell them.
I keep forgetting about jack, then can’t sleep and roam the site in the early hours and stumble across her threads again then spend several hours being equally amused and horrified 
Anyway, I just went to check her out on Twitter and she’s now private? When did this happen? Why would a “famous ‘sleb” go private?
Anyway, I just went to check her out on Twitter and she’s now private? When did this happen? Why would a “famous ‘sleb” go private?
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FFS. Here we go again with the DRAAAAMA!
So tomorrow will be another day of multiple reports on the catastrophic () dental situation, which is apparently related to her alcoholism (but I don’t understand that bit at all), and yet again no writing of the book.
p.s. that reminds me - whatever happened to her promised “ouchy mouth” recipes - back in the days when she had a mouth ulcer or similar and was attempting to co-opt cancer sufferers’ issues in some way. (Not one of her finest moments - and that is saying something, given her track record). Yet another of her many abandoned projects.
Followers have dropped again.
So tomorrow will be another day of multiple reports on the catastrophic (
) dental situation, which is apparently related to her alcoholism (but I don’t understand that bit at all), and yet again no writing of the book.p.s. that reminds me - whatever happened to her promised “ouchy mouth” recipes - back in the days when she had a mouth ulcer or similar and was attempting to co-opt cancer sufferers’ issues in some way. (Not one of her finest moments - and that is saying something, given her track record). Yet another of her many abandoned projects.
Followers have dropped again.
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You've just given her the name of her future restaurant!Please, please don't give her ideas. I couldn't bear it if she sullied 'Empty Chairs and Empty Tables'
Empty Chairs and Empty Tables.
I can see it now, a huge sign elaborately painted in eau de nil. All the tables and chairs are from The Cotswold Company. The walls are floor to ceiling bookcases, filled with books by David Walliams. The waiting area even has and extreme hammock to chill out on, as well as a water rower, in case you want a quick workout before your meal.
Of course, it's empty though. Mainly because people who go out for dinner actually like food. How it looks, how it tastes, and where it comes from. The eyelids and arseholes section of the menu was never going to work.
I’m reading the JM tweets (I have a rule etc..) and everyone’s been focused on the rank hypocrisy bit, nobody seems to have noticed that one of the biggest twats in the world doesn’t know what autism is.
This comment was brought to you by objectivity, and an obsession with telling the truth. It’s being an hole, not autism, and calling it autism whenever you fancy doing something unpleasant doesn’t make it true.
A bit like saying middle class is working class a zillion times doesn’t make it true either.
Good morning.
And before the usual threats of legal action are made, I’m not starting a fight, a pile on, or bullying a woman who is much more aggressive than me, she chooses to read tattle anyway. I haven’t engaged with her, this is a sarcastic take on her own lack of self awareness, her double standards and hypocrisy. Thank you, good morning.
This comment was brought to you by objectivity, and an obsession with telling the truth. It’s being an hole, not autism, and calling it autism whenever you fancy doing something unpleasant doesn’t make it true.
A bit like saying middle class is working class a zillion times doesn’t make it true either.
Good morning.
And before the usual threats of legal action are made, I’m not starting a fight, a pile on, or bullying a woman who is much more aggressive than me, she chooses to read tattle anyway. I haven’t engaged with her, this is a sarcastic take on her own lack of self awareness, her double standards and hypocrisy. Thank you, good morning.
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Is Jack going to rub some glitter on said achy tooth befure going to the dentist? It happens so often, the ltyes must have very short memories 
Deja vu. Also some nice groundwork for an ‘off her tits’ defence should Peeky come to light.
Still sleepy so don’t feel bad about the screenshots.
of course she already is doing all the suggestions. She’s exhausting.View attachment 250555View attachment 250558
Deja vu. Also some nice groundwork for an ‘off her tits’ defence should Peeky come to light.
Still sleepy so don’t feel bad about the screenshots.
So many ailments! Poor (poor) Jack.
I think I hear a sound in the distance. Kinda weird. Sounds like......a rattling tip jar?
I think I hear a sound in the distance. Kinda weird. Sounds like......a rattling tip jar?
Am actually listening to that improving lives podcast ( I know, I know..) but it's fascinating! She nearly, nearly tripped herself up in trying to explain the shock of using food banks she had to stop herself mid-sentence,''My parents friends couldn't really understand how I could have ended up in the situation where I was in poverty, because I came from..i...uh..uh... My parents were still married to each other.'' She was just about to say she was affluent, but stopped herself at the last second when she remembered the narrative! What a tool.
Haha! I googled Victorian ghost to get the background flavour, and then I knew I wanted the ballerina Jack shot because she already had that floaty thing going on (and, likeheretoreadit said, the ideal fashion for the times). She lost her arms because they’re hidden behind the lectern in the shot, and she lost her feet because I forgot to lasso them in my original cut
She is *such* a liar. Never ceases to amaze.
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