Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[heretoreaditall2019]

No one on the sober market wants her 0.2 - 0.6% ABV concoctions cos we don’t drink booze babe x

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

ooooh and shout out to the wonderful lurkers who’ve come out and joined us in the least thread! More newbies please, there’s enough chaos for us all to have something to say isn’t there

 

[BashmentLady]

Has one go at making kombucha and is now an expert looking for mass production.

I made one good curry so really open to the BashmentLady chain of curryhouses opening up across Europe. Any dear heart investors dm me.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Wonder how Natalia's coping with all of Jack's fan mail

What, both of them?

The one from Stuart was giving off a suspect aura so was binned unopened. The other was a long, detailed letter on how much jack munrow had helped someone in their darkest time.

Touched, Natalia tapped Jack's name on her phone with her manicured nail.

"Jack I've just had the most heartbreaking letter from one of your fans"

"What do they say about me?"

"They talk about how they were struggling to get by in hard times-"
"Me. What do they say about me???"

"Mostly they just talk about how grateful they are and how now they're doing better they want to help others like-"

"Are you still MITHERING on??? Anyway i dont want fan mail anymore. My minky cover has been blown and i dont feel safe getting letters. What if one of them calls my bechamel horse spunk again???Review my legal options with that for sale sign, i fancy a new shed. Ooh I've got another call coming through on my mirror. Goodbye."

**The events depicted in this tattle post are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental **

 

[Who Knows?WhoCares?]

Mirror confession:

I have one of those ones that you plug in and has lights around it, cos I wanted to feel like a 50s movie star.

I never use it because it has a 7x magnification bit on it and I'm not emotionally strong enough to see myself that close up

 

[Durga]

Hello to all the cabal, I’m outing myself as another lurker I came across Mack Jonroe on a podcast that I was listening to and her story prompted me to give her a follow on Instagram. Soon after I muted her posts because there was too many of them and I just wasn’t interested in having my feed dedicated to one person. Then she uploads her post Helmans excitement stories and it had me so confused that someone who’s jobs is SM would post those creepy, basically unreadable stories. I then saw her wig posts and it had me wondering was I the only person who thinks this is strange.. which led me here to this fabulous coven.

I’m done my fair share of grunka’ing since then and I honestly think this whole cartoon filter leading into the alt account that was sending secret messages to tattle is the wildest turn yet. You couldn’t make this stuff up

 

[crystaleyesd]

She thinks some shite kombucha she made with basics tea matches the taste of a complex, aged for 10+ years with special spring water and wooden barrels whisky...????

Not even sure Jan at this point...I'm fucking offended!

 

[Candytuft]

I like quorn sausages. They are nice in a casserole and sort of soak up flavours. We were mainly vegetarian at home. A chicken occasionally when one of our layers died. Skinny little thing that I loved. I just never fancied eating meat at all. Working on farms was a necessary thing to bring money in but not for me. I picked potatoes and helped with lambing.
But when my life went terribly wrong I ate anything I could. Before food banks or anything for people on their own in a violent abusive marriage. No refuges for women without children unless you paid £300 a week rent. Before rent caps, HB was how refuges made money. When people say oh, I would rather starve than eat meat. You haven’t actually been starving. Being hospitalised with malnutrition takes a good while of having so little. In awful gnawing persistent hunger.
Luxury is having a choice. I eat so well now on a pension, because I have the security of knowing it’s coming in. I can budget. I feel for all those lovely folks who give to Mack. Deluded. Foolish. Whatever, it’s immoral. The constant begging.
You can all fuck off now x

 

[Oofadoofa]

Am actually listening to that improving lives podcast ( I know, I know..) but it's fascinating! She nearly, nearly tripped herself up in trying to explain the shock of using food banks she had to stop herself mid-sentence,''My parents friends couldn't really understand how I could have ended up in the situation where I was in poverty, because I came from..i...uh..uh... My parents were still married to each other.'' She was just about to say she was affluent, but stopped herself at the last second when she remembered the narrative! What a tool.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The fact she deleted the Ocado tweet *first* before I could even run a script on her tweets shows she knows how fucked up her grifting is, which makes it all the more reprehensible?!

I honestly can’t understand how she can have a £300 mirror paid for with someone else’s universal credit and not feel sick to her stomach. Her poor fans are constantly saying stuff like oh when I get paid I’ll donate or sorry it’s not much you deserve so much more! poor Jack deserves a forever home I’ve bought a book to help All the while she’s laughing all the way to HARRODS?

 

[warm toebeans]

I make soup for a living, and I cannot put lentil and courgette together in my head and make it work. Lentils are magical things - nutty, buttery, rich. Courgettes are basically bags of water, and roasting them is only going to evaporate the water. I put summery green flavours with courgettes (watercress, dill, spinach), but I can’t imagine them with lentils. Unless you’re in need of yet another recipe to pad out yet another cookbook nobody asked for.

Soup deserves better than this.

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

People are suggesting treatments for the toothache.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s even drinking it in her favourite whisky glass. I don’t want to offend or trigger anyone but surely that’s not a great idea? So so sorry if i’m out of line.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Every time I read "AF" in regards to the kombucha, I think "As Fuck", not "Alcohol Free".

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She is already here. I am sure of it.

This line is haunting, it’s something the young child of a family being terrorised by a Victorian poltergeist would say.

 

[BustardFluggers]

Is there a way to know how many people/individual accounts view Jack’s threads?

I’m so curious to know if we have more lurkers on top of the regular posters and how many of us there are. Really wish I could do a head count.

Like if you lurk!

This doesn`t answer your question directly but as I mentioned previously, I discovered Tattle around the time of DKL.
Can`t remember exact details but I had followed Mackie McMink for a while on Twitter. The thing is, I didn`t really look at Twitter much until lockdown.
I became aware of the JO outburst and I think, that's what made me look further. Frankly it`s all a bit blurred. Until then I thought Jack was a good person who was out to help people, rather than just herself. I hadn`t bought any of her books but did praise her to friends and suggest they get them from the library.

I`ve had my own issues with MH in the past, especially with depression and a tendency to border on agoraphobia so lockdown was tough at times. Of course I`m not alone in that but it felt like I was part of a community, even though I wasn`t directly participating in it.
I loved it when you went off topic and even bought vegan cheese for my partner on the cabals recommendation !

I`ll fuck off now

 

[Switchstreetz]

In lighter news @Incywincy has reached thread 59!!!! Keep climbing, you can do it!

 

[HarderFaster]

Couldn't help myself with the ss! I just want Marmite or Alan to photoshop Jackie with some hen legs in traaaazers

View attachment 249855

I cannot stop laughing at soaked hens

Sorry it's really bad form to suggest a thread title so early on but...

Jack Monroe #76 - Madder than a wet hen.

 

[Montrachet]

Hoo boy, her latest follower stats have landed

I think we can take a guess at where a number of those followers have gone. The JM thread has produced 8 of the top 10 comments across Tattle today.