Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Pocahontas]

Re: the publishing question ... it all depends. If she had been commissioned for exactly that book, and has signed a contract and been paid an advance - then yes, she absolutely needs to deliver it otherwise she will be breaching her contract.

Or, it could be a case where she said to her literary agent, ‘Oh, I’ve got this brilliant idea for a book using collaborative poverty voices, it’s going to blow everyone’s socks off.’
Literary agent goes, ‘Ok, Jack. Sounds good. Get me a treatment / synopsis / first three chapters.’
Jack goes, ‘You bet your ass I will.’

<fucks about on Twitter for forty days straight>

‘Ah, I don’t think I’m going to do the poverty book. I think I’m going to write an ethical cookbook.’
Literary agent: ‘Ok, Jack, sounds great. Get me a treatment / synopsis / first three chapters.’
‘You bet your ass I will.’
Ad nauseam.

 

[ameliaprimrose]

Another lurker here, hello! I've been following Jack on and off for years. I found her blog in about 2013 or 2014 when I was at uni so I wanted cheap recipes, and I've got a couple of her books. I've made a few of her recipes in my time and some were alright, but I have to say that by far the worst was the salmon paste pasta. I've had some other creamy salmon pasta dishes that I've loved, and she said in her book that a reader told her it tasted like something they'd had in a chain restaurant, so I thought it sounded good. It was not.

But even when I was a fan of her, I kept thinking that she was exhausting to follow on twitter. She was always getting into arguments and drama and I just wanted her to get a social media manager or something. I actually originally found this site to read about someone else, but noticed Jack's thread was popular and have been lurking since the beginning of September. I honestly can't believe how much has happened since then. It doesn't seem like less than a month ago.

Edit: I went back to check, and the comment that someone said it tasted like something from a restaurant was in her book, not the blog post as I originally said

 

[I steal names]

Oh my god, that mirror! She's putting that Patreon dollar to good use Unbelievable. She has her mirror, and her son gets to eat pig trotter casserole for dinner.

Frauen, I was just in Lidl (because life isn't always?M&S lasagnes, amiright ) the middle aisle has us covered for collating our court docs! Better drive home now, I'm getting funny looks for all the cackling this thread brings.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

She’s even drinking it in her favourite whisky glass. I don’t want to offend or trigger anyone but surely that’s not a great idea? So so sorry if i’m out of line.

It’s a no from me...my favourite AF drinks are:
Water
Red Bull
Diet Pepsi
Fruity tea

If I’m drinking something that looks like whisky from a whisky glass than I’m in a dangerous place. And nobody wants a drunk Lenny .

I went back to read thread 31 when I was waiting for Mr L and SB to come home tonight (honestly, that thread is a thing of beauty) and in response so a comment I made, Jack said her experience was not representative of AA or words to that effect, yet she is so irresponsible about it all knowing full well she has a large platform. Alcoholism is a terrible illness and one that tries to convince you you don’t have it, so those still struggling might think “well if she can drink Kombucha and low alcohol beer then so can I”. Everyone is ultimately responsible for their own sobriety but she’s bang out of order IMO.

ETA: I appreciate there’s a market for AF drinks for people who aren’t alcoholic, my frustration at this from her comes from her saying she’s an alcoholic/is in AA.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Fraus!
What a ride! it’s taken me 2 days to grunka the last thread and there’s already 21 pages to go here! I’m back but I’m not back back, ok? I’m BUSY! (Got to pick my own SB up from school innit)

I don’t know what delights are awaiting me in the thread ahead but just want to say;

Incredible work @Veronicaaa I’m actually speechless at her stupidity!

The sausages what about the slaughter houses Jack? What a fucking hypocrite. What about the health of your dear SB? What message are you sending to people you absolute prick?
I’m so angry, she’s in the position to do so much more to educate lower income people to cook and eat healthily, that’s the main issue with Jamie, he’s always had the right idea and done so much but he’s seen as privileged and out of touch, it’s a shame.

I’ve really got to go but did anyone pick up on Jack saying “I don’t care about food unless it has a political angle” ? Going to assume she means “I don’t care about food, it’s just the thing that gets me in the press”

right I’m off for a piss and a sandwich to do the school run. Can’t actually wait to catch up with you in real time...chefs kiss

 

[NP]

I love that someone has said she's made alco-free whiskey and she just rolls with it like she has

Jack takes the credit for anything. Healthy Start Vouchers from 2006?

 

[LavaFlake]

Sod it. View attachment 249918View attachment 249920View attachment 249921
Of course it is.

She won't rest until she gets the AGA stove she is entitled to.

yes, absolutely xView attachment 249899

DON'T STICK STUFFING CRUMBS IN YOUR STEW. Tattlers, I made this mistake when I was still sucked in with JM's bullshit a couple of years ago.

It turned the meal into a soggy, congealed mess. I of course blamed myself as I still wasn't massively confident with cooking at this point.

I expect she makes more in Patreon donations alone than a monthly salary on the minimum wage! Ugh she does my head in.

*Scampers away*

 

[crystaleyesd]

.... What could it be fraus.... Such tension...

SO PROFESH *scampers off to do another chaos teeheehee*

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Thanks once again Poca! Please never stop writing these recaps. We’re going to have a whip-round for you after the next meeting with Vlad as a little token of our gratitude

ETA and congrats to Silver too! Short and sweet, as all the best titles are

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Some of my favourite bits were when @blurstoftimes said something like ‘Aw, Yel - can’t we ban her?’ and @Begborrowsteal telling her that she was making a show of herself. And I know I always bring it up but when she told @Harrybosch that she was entitled and demanding!

But honestly - there were too many perfect moments, so if you did print out thread #31, Jack - sling us a copy this way will you? Ta.

One of my favourite moments was @GrunkaLunka asking if anyone had the gif of Mariah Carey being wheeled away looking sad, as her thread title was being sabotaged And @heretoreaditall2019 saying "You're not in Holloway, you can do what you like" when JM kept asking if she could leave. That whole thread genuinely still makes me laugh out loud.

 

[HarderFaster]

I am not attacking anyone who eats meat. I was trying to say, badly that some people don’t have choices. Mack can buy what she likes and to say she doesn’t is not true. Evidently so. I am no more immune from criticism than anyone. Admittedly I digressed. My apologies. As we were, folks.

I don't think you need to apologise for anything, @Candytuft x

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Considering the palate she’s clearly got I’m gonna venture the whiskey kombucha likely tastes something like stale pond water

I would bet my £30 IKEA mirror on it tasting exactly like if you splashed vinegar on a soggy smart price used teabag and squeezed it into your mouth

 

[Silver Linings]

Only sharing this blatant tip jar rattling implying she can’t have a proper dinner.

 

[Tabitha D]

Of all the hills to die on, voice of the oppressed Jack Monroe chooses... fury over someone not recognising the exact shade of blue that Fortnum & Mason use.

How did the poor and marginalised ever do without such advocacy?

All Jack has done here is illustrate that she is VERY FAMILIAR with the Fortnum & Mason colours. It’s not really on brand for someone who presents herself as some kind of impoverished Dickensian urchin, is it now?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Only if test and trace is for future Mrs Js.

Tattle, meanwhile, is being used to test and trace Jack's neverending bullshit.

 

[MancBee]

I would so love it if she came back

She is already here. I am sure of it.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

" the white sauce thickens " brilliant thread recap as always from @Pocahontas

 

[Tabitha D]

Apparently, Govt guidelines say that the minimum amount of meat that a meat sausage must contain is 32%. So these Asda things contain the absolute minimum. They cannot be labelled as “pork sausages” as they would have to have a minimum of 42% pork (which they don’t).
Of the 32% meat, up to 25% of that can be fat and up to 25% can be connective tissue. So these sausages could have as little as 16% actual meat.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I am not attacking anyone who eats meat. I was trying to say, badly that some people don’t have choices. Mack can buy what she likes and to say she doesn’t is not true. Evidently so. I am no more immune from criticism than anyone. Admittedly I digressed. My apologies. As we were, folks.

Don't worry my love, the account you're replying to seems to live off taking offence at literally anything.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Wait, wait, wait there is no need to worry about SB eating repulsive eyeball sausages. We all know she received an Ocado delivery with bountiful M&S supplies (source Pinky Meek). She and SB will be lying on sofas (or sideboards) all week, eating sumptuous food. Any picture she posts as food they’ve eaten from their Asda haul is just a lie