Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Alansbigplate]

But.... there’s already alcohol free whiskey out there? Why does Jack always say she’s invented something without at the very least doing a 1 minute google search

She invented Healthy Start Vouchers by travelling back in time maybe she did the whiskey at the same time?

 

[Bobtheknob]

Only sharing this blatant tip jar rattling implying she can’t have a proper dinner. View attachment 249893

 

[Pocahontas]

So I posted that very same gif and said 'Jack ignoring her book deadline' or something similar last thread.

I AM RAGING. I have a sense of humour. You are a gif thief! Thieeeeeeeeeeeefffffff!

Plus she’s stolen our [redacted] comedy. You don’t work for Vlad, Jack! It’s just the cabal, ok? Ok.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

For anyone triggered by her empty shelves photos I’ve just had my weekly delivery and we got our loo roll pasta and rice as ordered last week it did have me concerned as we are shielding my vulnerable husband so wanted to avoid scampering to the shops

 

[Satisfying Click]

She invented Healthy Start Vouchers by travelling back in time maybe she did the whiskey at the same time?

And that's the story of how Jack Daniel's stole her idea and name

 

[Harrybosch]

She’s disappearing back down a writing hole now while necking sainsburys basics teabag kombucha. She also had to gloat about being able to recognise 20 whisky brands and updated her sober count to nearly 20 months.

ETA - Read it again, she thinks her bastardised concoction tastes like a ‘good, peaty scottish isles whisky’ and is congratulating herself on being the only person who has pulled off making alcohol free whisky.

She's invented whiskey. Now duck off.

 

[Oofadoofa]

Also does she not understand that self praise doesn't bleeping count???

*New Book release*

Jack Monroe’s MustTryHarder - How to make bland food on a middle class budget! By Jack Monroe

Just check out what others have been saying about it..

“A seminal piece of work” - Jack Monroe, TV presenter.

“Who knew it was possible to create such culinary delights on such a shoestring, or should I say ‘bootstrap’..LOL!” Jack Monroe, Fire Service.

“Incredible food. And it’s amazing how she finds the time, I’ve heard she’s really BUSY” - Jack Monroe, stripper.

“Jamie Oliver eat your heart out” - Jack Monroe, political commentator.

“Food for all the family” - Jack Monroe, mother.

etc etc...

 

[Toffee finger]

She invented Healthy Start Vouchers by travelling back in time maybe she did the whiskey at the same time?

Ah yes of course!
Jack - Inventor of all things

 

[ShowMeYourFeline]

So many things to say, but let's just address that she doesn't need "Asda plant-based mince" to make things vegan and nutritious. Lentils and textured soy protein work well and are cheaper. And buying crappy cheap meat but not eating it yourself doesn't make an ethical choice. The point is you financially supported industrial animal agriculture and also failed in teaching your kid about responsible consumption. But you all know this...

Also, what kind of alleged ex-vegan forgets to not fry their veg in lard?

Who fries veg in lard anyway?

 

[Candytuft]

*New Book release*

Jack Monroe’s MustTryHarder - How to make bland food on a middle class budget! By Jack Monroe

Just check out what others have been saying about it..

“A seminal piece of work” - Jack Monroe, TV presenter.

“Who knew it was possible to create such culinary delights on such a shoestring, or should I say ‘bootstrap’..LOL!” Jack Monroe, Fire Service.

“Incredible food. And it’s amazing how she finds the time, I’ve heard she’s really BUSY” - Jack Monroe, stripper.

“Jamie Oliver eat your heart out” - Jack Monroe, political commentator.

“Food for all the family” - Jack Monroe, mother.

etc etc...

I HOOTED !
Genius wit. Frightened my cat

 

[Emmapism]

Plus she’s stolen our [redacted] comedy. You don’t work for Vlad, Jack! It’s just the cabal, ok? Ok.

I'm in a proper grump about it. This is for you you humourless thieving turd

 

[Candytuft]

And that's the story of how Jack Daniel's stole her idea and name

I remember that. Vividly.

 

[Alansbigplate]

And that's the story of how Jack Daniel's stole her idea and name

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

No one on the sober market wants her 0.2 - 0.6% ABV concoctions cos we don’t drink booze babe x

 

[Tabitha D]

Why does she have to over complicate everything! And why would you need to rinse the red lentils once they're cooked?....I make a lovely orange soup with onions, red lentils, carrots and tin of tomatoes and some stock made from the bones of roast chicken from Sunday lunch ....bung everything in pressure cooker and soup is ready in 20mins - use stick blender to make it lovely and creamy ( season to taste- court bouillion powder is ace lots of black pepper is of course optional )
ETA I am Scottish so know a thing or two about making a tasty ( and cheap) soup!

I thought part of the point of using red lentils in soup (and I do love red lentil soup) is that in cooking they sort of break down and become a bit starchy which adds to the texture. If you rinse them then you will lose that, surely? But Jack does love to rinse stuff (except her fingernails apparently).

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

View attachment 249837

Why does she hate food so much?

Sweet suffering Christ! I have genuinely had more attractive looking Gastroenteritis..

 

[Candytuft]

There must be something #Oofadoofa said that could be a contender for the next thread title ?
I can’t stop chuckling
ETA gone wrong somewhere. You get the gist.

 

[Ninch55]

I’ve got EDS and I’ve dislocated my right thumb catching a moth for my neighbour. Any recipes for a one handed miserable twit PS Loch Fyne do amazing whiskies. View attachment 250076
[/QUOTE]

 

[Alansbigplate]

No one on the sober market wants her 0.2 - 0.6% ABV concoctions cos we don’t drink booze babe x

Yassss witch Preach

 

[Veronicaaa]

Also does she not understand that self praise doesn't bleeping count???

Haha I don't reckon that thought has ever passed our resident scathing essayist's mind.