Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Oofadoofa]

Sod it. View attachment 249918View attachment 249920View attachment 249921
Of course it is.

*rattle rattle*.... I SAID that my electric oven is a TINY CRAPPY one..

 

[I’MBUSY!]

The worst thing about those eyeball-bollocks sausages, is that they are probably destined to go into her ‘famous’ sausagne

She’s branching out to bollocknese.

 

[Who Knows?WhoCares?]

Hey!

Lurker here too - migrated from a thread on a blogger and forgot to leave

I'm Katie, a teacher and a vegan (100% just to clear up any doubt )

 

[Bookweevil]

Oh, autumn! Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness and...

 

[Silver Linings]

This one was also deleted.

 

[Harrybosch]

Only sharing this blatant tip jar rattling implying she can’t have a proper dinner. View attachment 249893

Are you fucking kidding me? You bought a fridge that cost well over a grand a few months ago and now you can't buy veggie sausages? I actually hate her. She's such a liar

 

[UnderTheRadar]

So Jack has the worst ouchy mouth ever known to man because she used to drink 200 units of alcohol a week, but now she’s healing herself with sugar laden alcohol free (0.5%) tea??? Nae bother hen.

 

[MooBelle]

I don't get why an ex would bother following this account, jack calling or texting her 'wah wah Louisa, follow this account as I'm gonna flounce of my main account causing my fans to worry wah wah'

Why is this intelligent woman agreeing to this?

This is why I struggle with the 'Poor Louisa' narrative.
To me, she is wholly complicit in Jackie's antics. She is an incredibly intelligent (and powerful) woman who is the Head of C4's news and Current Affairs.
She has at the very least enabled her. She knows what she is doing.

 

[Scarletfever]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

 

[Silver Linings]

Sod it.

Of course it is.

 

[Steerpike88]

You know. I was thinking about what Jack's alt account reminded me of and its my ex from my stupid teenage years. He was a raging narc and was convinced he'd be a famous artist. Anyway he set up an alt deviant art account and talked to himself on it, like it was two artists talking and then he made a new email account and sent me an email pretending to be a long lost friend that I couldn't remember (real dick level gas lighting) but he forgot when he made his new email to use a different name. So literally I got a message from my ex with his actual name on the email pretending to be someone else.

Anyway. Strongly reminded of that moment today. Thanks for the lols, Jack.

 

[Lisbon]

Lovely Canal members, I'm delurking to say hello!
I'm not much of a talker but I'd like to say Thank You So Matt much Matt for the laughs, I've had a belter of a time reading these threads and I can't believe it's been 84 years six months already. I didn't know much about Lord Jackington before March but now I feel I could easily get half a GCSE in that subject.

Will Absolutely Get Fucked now but wanted to leave you with this...

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Lets not forget Jack the Mink insinuating she had covid with a post about loss of taste, breathing difficulties and tired to the point of not being able to move.

Yet a mere 17 hours later, she’s done her first of two big Asda shops.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Has anyone ever seen JM cook a joint of meat? A roast chicken? A steak? I’d be interested to know because I’ve never ever seen her make something that isn’t slop, just like @MooBelle said.

Jack, hey babes, can you post us a picture of something that looks like it doesn't need to be fed through a tube? Thankyou hun xxxx

 

[Satisfying Click]

She invented Healthy Start Vouchers by travelling back in time maybe she did the whiskey at the same time?

And that's the story of how Jack Daniel's stole her idea and name

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Jack and her harebrained schemes. It's a batch of rotten fecking hooch. Nothing irritates me more than the people who reply to her and encourage the endless shite, though.

I'm being inspired by my favourite ever Tattle thread title (MOD- the one about the pink jumpsuit, clumpy boot), but humour me a terrible rhyming thread title suggestion

#76 Jacket too butch, unruly cooch, forget it all with a glass of rotten teabag hooch

 

[Veronicaaa]

Hoo boy, her latest follower stats have landed

 

[Geetbo]

I am absolutely fuming.

I have that jar for cat treats

It's only a matter of time before I'm guzzling horse spunk lasagna and adorning my body with fake wounds.

 

[Harrybosch]

Couldn't help myself with the ss! I just want Marmite or Alan to photoshop Jackie with some hen legs in traaaazers

View attachment 249855

She doesn't understand five a day. It's five portions of fruit and veg a day. A portion is 80-100 gram. So 400 - 500 grams. Should be somewhat varied, but doesn't mean you need five different fruits or vegetables every day. So unless her SB eats about 700 - 800 grams of this dish (allowing for weight of stock, bacon and sausages), he won't be getting his five a day.
Why do we need to spell the most basic crap out to her?

 

[MooBelle]

Posting this as it’s two blue tickers. Is Jack an anti-lockdowner now? View attachment 250004

Oh God she's off again.
Civil Liberties being ripped away.
Food Riots because of Brexit.
Does she think this is like a revolution?

OH MY GOD FRAUS....I've just had an Eureka moment. Brace yourselves and get your tinfoil hat ready....


She thinks this is Les Miserables. Makes sense. She has gone up against the aristocracy (Annuziata Rees Mogg) She's preparing for food riots. She's been singing.
She's shaved her head like Anne Hathaway.

It makes sense!!!!!