I wonder how long she can keep the New Jack routine up for. It wasn't very long last time, but at least it gave some Tattlers chance to catch up to real time
Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone
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Does her jaw still hurt though? Can she eat normally again??
This was the eye that went head first into a tap? Oh wait, it was a sink, or tap, or sink and tap....whatever! This was they eye that was so bashed and swollen (and looked like a fractured socket according to doctors)that it needed a trip to A&E on Thursday, right? The eye that was still so swollen on Friday that it needed 14 layers of make-up? It's still only Saturday, yes??
She sure does heal quickly!
She's getting better at blending!
Delete as appropriate
Trying to imagine what her previous followers are thinking about delete spree and new bio.
Hmm I now think the black eye is genuine (but she’d put make up on the first photo to make it look worse).
My child got a black eye at school last year. It was pink and swollen for 2 days, an array of colours for 5 days and then gone (apart from a long lasting dip just below his eye).
I would post a photo but...triangulation and all that
My child got a black eye at school last year. It was pink and swollen for 2 days, an array of colours for 5 days and then gone (apart from a long lasting dip just below his eye).
I would post a photo but...triangulation and all that
Oopsie. New followers might not know she’s the secret leader of MR’s campaign. head.
Wow what a ride that was and I only read the recaps 
I have to say @Pocahontas you my dear are an absolute LEGEND, those recaps were just spot on, I didn't feel like I missed out by not reading the whole thread (though of course I missed the bants).
That black eye, do we think someone finally gave her a much needed back hander??
I have to say @Pocahontas you my dear are an absolute LEGEND, those recaps were just spot on, I didn't feel like I missed out by not reading the whole thread (though of course I missed the bants).That black eye, do we think someone finally gave her a much needed back hander??
You can literally see the boundary on the right-side bridge of her nose, where highlighter meets normal coloured non-glittery skin.
This is so badly done, it makes me think it’s deliberately tit in order to cause us all hilarity, and thus give her narc fuel (attention)?
This is so badly done, it makes me think it’s deliberately tit in order to cause us all hilarity, and thus give her narc fuel (attention)?
Ahem.
aslrochelle.com
How to Bruise Yourself With Stage Makeup — ASL Rochelle
Want to look like you got beat up? Got a killer bruise or three? Come on! It's fun! Bonus: no pain is involved! Let's round up the supplies and get right to it. You'll need a bruise wheel. I have a bruise and cut wheel from Ben Nye . You'll also want
aslrochelle.com
He posted that on Tuesday. It's now Saturday. I guess Jack was BUSY though.
I think most of us agreed she had hurt herself, she just embellished it to the bloody heavens. Embarrassing that she couldn't even go 24 hours after her new leaf without posting a bruise selfie for tattle. Don't worry fraus, Jack's chaoses are like buses. You wait an hour for one and then 5 turn up at once.
What a fine young man Marcus Rashford is. His Mum's heart must be bursting with pride 
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Yay @Hunty !! You’re back amongst us!!!
Sadly there’s very little for you to base your next diagnosis on, as there’s been a terrible incident with the case notes. Luckily however, top medical data specialist @Silver Linings and her plucky team from across the country have been backing up the servers, so we can still have one of your incisive evidence-based pronouncements when you’re ready.
.... Or you can just go with your gut feeling, however you want to run today’s clinic
Having checked all the servers of backed up data, I think the original diagnosis safely stands for now, I am furiously working away on a vaccination for Thundercuntism but sadly, it could be years before we see a viable vaccination, I'm still working on getting some test subjects, thundercuntism isn't something we see in animals and I'm not one for animal testing, I prefer human testing, but most humans don't realise they suffer from this condition, its quite the conundrum, this armchair doctoring malarkey is quite hard
Oh ffs - stop it now Jack. That is not a black eye it’s makeup. Go and play with your cat or write your book or look after your son instead of playing with makeup like a 9 year old. twit! 
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Yes, absolutely
As I said before, I do have experience with sinks/taps (not à la Mack with sideboards, you’ll be pleased to hear), and unless it was a large lever elbow mixer tap, like the ones surgeons use, it baffles me as to how she achieved a black eye from falling on one without at least knocking a couple of teeth out/bruising her chin/collarbone on the basin.
There is no injury. She's done a better job with the make-up today, but to me it's obviously fake - I do accept others think she did hurt herself though - but I don't.
Wanted to see if JM is still a bleep. Spent ages Grunking. Concluded she is still a bleep. As you were Cabal x
Apropos of nothing, when I was lurking a superfan called Nims (?) featured regularly, then disappeared. This happened suddenly after Jack had been shamed into sending her a book for the 2nd time. Just speculation, but with how she treats her plebs, you don't think it was signed 'NOW duck OFF'.
Babes. Same
Nah she didn't read that article.Ahem.
How to Bruise Yourself With Stage Makeup — ASL Rochelle
Want to look like you got beat up? Got a killer bruise or three? Come on! It's fun! Bonus: no pain is involved! Let's round up the supplies and get right to it. You'll need a bruise wheel. I have a bruise and cut wheel from Ben Nye . You'll also want
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