Jack Monroe #65 Green gages and ham

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Ah dear @Marmalade Atkins have seen/read the Hogfather?
Death has a library of all the souls in the world. They're kept in glass jars. Millions of them and there's a couple of scenes where Death walks round looking for a particular soul.
That's basically how I imagine you finding all these archived tweets!!!!
Please tell me it's true.....


Ah, me too. I bloody hate pandas.
I know that makes me sound heartless, but i have reasons!!!
If pandas weren't cute and fluffy no one would give a tit. If they were a bug, or a fish or scorpion or something ugly then they would be extinct by now.
They are not in the food chain, they have no positive impact on the environment. Also, they are soooooo boring. They just sit there....
Plus the Chinese government has spent billions on them whilst committing some human rights atrocities that other countries ignore.

Ah thanks Cabal, i love having a little rant every now and then!!!

When I was studying...wayyyyyy back in the dim mists of time.....I took an environment unit that, instead of the science based unit it appeared to be, was largely based around power discourses. I offended a LOT of people on the course by saying that whilst I think all animals are great, why on earth were we spending so much money and time on the animals based upon whether they made good cuddly toys or not. Detrivores are more useful to us than Pandas. Bumblebees are of more use to us than Honey Bees. Earthworms are of more use to us than Tigers.

Apparently, linked to that is Deep Green environmentalism. Which seemed to pretty much mean 'the planet will be fine as long as we don't blow it up. WE might not be fine, the animals that currently live here would mostly be better off without us at least initially (farm animals wouldn't, but they've been bred to be as useless as possible in a wild situation anyhow), but if we concentrated our efforts upon reducing the permanent damage to the environment, when we do finally manage to kill ourselves off, there'll be more things with a fighting chance able to survive and evolve' or, as I put it 'Humans are tit.'

Bog standard greasy spoon or B&B technique. Means they're cooked and hot, keep them in a metal tub throughout the morning, drain into a frying pan.
 
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So she invited people round, cooked food, fucked around photographing food, then served presumably freezing cold?!!!
No, she said it was meant to serve 4, never mentioned anyone else being there so I presume she was by herself and being a greedy goblin she ate the lot.

BTW I agree they were shop bought hence why they were meant to serve 4, as if you were making them at home you would have chucked a few more in to make enough to go round.
 
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She'd never take instruction from anyone though, can you imagine trying to teach her anything. But particularly trying to teach her on her "niche" and "life's work" 😂
True but I was thinking more long-term for her. She wants to open a restaurant and make this chef thing work. She may need to do something.t
 
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Jack of Greengages for the next thread title !

😂
A quote from the books?

“It's been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will and presumably then you eat any old tit like a Greedy Goblin"
 
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Didn’t she tell people to roast tinned potatoes at one point? 🤔
I remember her posting a flurry of self-satisfied tweets about her GAME-CHANGING recipe for Hasselback tinned spuds ( :sick: ) in the lead up to the tin can cookbook, promising that they'd be included....then, surprise surprise, the book was released with no sign of a recipe for Hasselback tinned potatoes. Possibly because it DIDN'T bleeping WORK.
 
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As a self proclaimed connoisseur of tatties, "a potato is a potato" has given me rage!

Jack, I'm going to speak to you in language you will understand. If you can't appreciate the differences between a lovely floury tattie, perfect for roasting to a golden nugget of heaven, or for making fluffy, buttery mashed clouds of carbs; and waxy, firm little parcels of bite, strewn with abandon in salads, garnished with herbs or spices, or smothered in mayo. Well, if you can't appreciate the difference between these things, you have no place giving Top Tips or bits of advice on them.

Sincerely,

A tattie lover.
 
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I remember her posting a flurry of self-satisfied tweets about her GAME-CHANGING recipe for Hasselback tinned spuds ( :sick: ) in the lead up to the tin can cookbook, promising that they'd be included....then, surprise surprise, the book was released with no sign of a recipe for Hasselback tinned potatoes. Possibly because it DIDN'T bleeping WORK.
Mr D tried roasting tinned potatoes because his grandfather used to do it and we didn't have £2 to go and get a bag of proper ones once. They were...not inedible. I suggested that next time, he did them in a frying pan, cut in half with some crushed garlic and rosemary (had both growing in the front garden - most things that want to grow get shoved out there when they're growing too much to eat them anymore or look too sad but not dead yet looks at 5 foot high multistemmed ginger by the front door). They were much nicer, crispy and didn't have the Tinned Potato taste to them.


The constant insulting of ingredients is irritating. The work you put in, the worry about soil, water, pests, blight, will there be anything for your efforts? Can you get all of them before they're lost? Can you grow giant baked potatoes that will fill your belly or just a couple of little ones for a snack? all to grow something that literally saves lives. And then somebody sniffily says 'It's just a potato'.

That's privilege talking right there.
 
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With all that Cypriot and Nirish blood coursing through her veins you'd think she might have half a clue about either - I dunno - halloumi or potatoes?
 
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Ir
I remember her posting a flurry of self-satisfied tweets about her GAME-CHANGING recipe for Hasselback tinned spuds ( :sick: ) in the lead up to the tin can cookbook, promising that they'd be included....then, surprise surprise, the book was released with no sign of a recipe for Hasselback tinned potatoes. Possibly because it DIDN'T bleeping WORK.
I've never done hassle back potatoes, but don't they need a skin. I think I saw them with skins on on pictures.
 
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Why on earth would you microplane halloumi?The point of halloumi is the texture and firmness, griddled, with herbs/spices and oil and the flavour comes from the smokieness of the grill. She is trying to reinvent things that don't need messing with to prove she's such a wacky maverick. But she's just an infuriating twit.
I found a recipe that has grated halloumi, I don't have fresh lemon or mint (just bottled lemon and dried mint) but this looks nice and could have for lunch the next day (good for the wallet) :)


PS the melting into pasta is still bull
 
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I remember her posting a flurry of self-satisfied tweets about her GAME-CHANGING recipe for Hasselback tinned spuds ( :sick: ) in the lead up to the tin can cookbook, promising that they'd be included....then, surprise surprise, the book was released with no sign of a recipe for Hasselback tinned potatoes. Possibly because it DIDN'T bleeping WORK.
Sounds familiar. Didn’t she tweet loads about her GAME-CHANGING recipe for vegan crackling, to drum up interest in the vegan book... then, surprise surprise, the book was released with no sign of a recipe for vegan crackling?

It’s a great marketing strategy as it goes... albeit an immoral one.
 
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Obviously chefs and food writers should enjoy their own food and let people who might want to try the recipes know that it's good, but I've never known anyone to be so impressed by themselves as Jackie. The way she moans ('ooft' to me is a sex grunt :sick:) and snarfs and gobbles and groans in pleasure at literally everything she makes is all for show to sell books. Nobody makes incredible meals 100% of the time - least of all her. And she has to lie extra hard because you cannot convince me that any more than about 20% of what she makes is bleeping edible (I'm being generous).
 
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#66 These are not just potatoes, these are Jackie potatoes....which are the same as every other potato.
 
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I found a recipe that has grated halloumi, I don't have fresh lemon or mint (just bottled lemon and dried mint) but this looks nice and could have for lunch the next day (good for the wallet) :)


PS the melting into pasta is still bull
Gonna quote myself than edit again

She implys her halloumi melts as it's a specific version but not mention the brand or where it's from

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a quick search reveals halloumi cheese with high cows milk content can melt (not the authentic stuff 🤣)

 
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Do you think JM is a bad omen? Everything she touches turns to sh*t? She's like King Midas in reverse. No sooner has JM thrilled us with her courgette recipe, than the Daily Mail reports about crops of killer courgettes. Now, I always thought that consumption of one of JM's meals could necessitate your close proximity to a lavatory, but killer courgettes? Which innocent item of food will she put the hex on next?

Reading the article I can only assume she hates courgettes to do 'that' to them. But, the mere mention of 'Wetwang' sent her flying over the edge..
 
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