Jack Monroe #65 Green gages and ham

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @JoyceDivision on your second consecutive thread title! Knocking it out of the park!
60 reactions


Recap of thread #64

Friends, Jack Monroe has been BUSY:

1. She needed some bins, but no, not THAT type, cretin! She’s going to use cardboard boxes instead. Is that ok with you?
2. She retweeted Marcus Rashford. According to a fan: ‘She has the same passion and drive, for sure.’ Sure, Jan.
3. She’s gone back to her original price tiers on Patreon. Could it be that she may not be able to provide a higher-tiered reward system?
4. We saw prints of ‘Arm Holding Posy (Not Centred). Southend’ (disclaimer: not actual name) and what her business cards look like.
5. She waxed lyrical about greengages from *whisper* Waitrose, took lots of photos of greengages, endeavoured to make jam from said greengages, and did so in her slow cooker. It turns out her jam wasn’t as nice as her grandad’s was.
6. Some learned fraus were able to access the hallowed BBC radio dramatisation of her life, and provided hilarious commentary.
7. There was Twitter flirtation betwixt Jack and James Wong. James, if you want to be ‘fed treats’, you might be in for a wild surprise.
8. Jack had fun with a magnifying glass, using them to take some photos of a handful of Nik Naks berlotti beans.
9. She plated up The Creature from the Purple Lagoon. There were multiple pictures; she was proud. Fuelled by accident and whimsy, she might post a recipe over the weekend, she might not.
10. For the first time in her ‘whole mad life’, she ‘actually fleetingly thinks’ she might want to run a very small restaurant one day. Oh no. Talk her out of it.
11. She can recite poetry.
12. Talking of creative writing, there have been some fine examples of the art displayed by some of the fraus: an imagined menu for Slop, Southend by @LavaFlake , a gritty, yet touching post-apocalyptic fable by @BlendedSlop and an inspired vignette by @edinburghcastle . There’s nothing much more sublime than ‘Traazers? On a bird?’ for me at the moment

 

[JoyceDivision]

I’m a double doctorate?! What larks!

Looking forward to the extra Vlad dollar this month, the cheap wet ham...mocks won’t buy themselves

TVMM.

 

[MrsOgre]

She's here!

 

[Harrybosch]

Reporting for duty. Marvellous recap, @Pocahontas. I'll send you borlotti beans as a reward for your stellar work. Speaking of which, what is the mystery of the bean she's trying to solve with that magnifying glass?
Where's the ephemera?
Does a bean dressed in vinegar a pickle make?
Where are my tastebuds?

I fear we may never know.

 

[NP]

Your recaps are brilliant @Pocahontas. And I’m going to shoehorn “betwixt” into casual conversation this weekend.

 

[Silver Linings]

She's here!View attachment 226324

She was waiting for a new thread. Cheers, Jack.

 

[MrsOgre]

View attachment 226328


She was waiting for a new thread. Cheers, Jack.

Shan't look at him Jack

 

[Pocahontas]

Reporting for duty. Marvellous recap, @Pocahontas. I'll send you borlotti beans as a reward for your stellar work. Speaking of which, what is the mystery of the bean she's trying to solve with that magnifying glass?
Where's the ephemera?
Does a bean dressed in vinegar a pickle make?
Where are my tastebuds?

I fear we may never know.

These are all riddles that you and your newly-formed task force must demystify, dear heart! Vlad has arranged for an immediate deposit of bitcoin into your accounts, and there’s more to come once you have solved these rhetorical puzzles.

 

[Silver Linings]

And on insta too. Buckle up, fraus.

 

[MancBee]

She's here!View attachment 226324

Gobbledygook.

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

Made some awful jam using fruits that weren't even rationed in 1942. Fucked it up.

Threatened to open a resto.

Some tit with beans.

Posted some slop across various social media like a monkey throwing tit at the walls.

Got a bit paranoid about fraus infiltrating the Twitter feed..

Googled some poetry.

 

[MancBee]

And on insta too. Buckle up, fraus. View attachment 226335

I need to go to bed, but I always end up needing an hour in the morning to catch up. Is she nocturnal?

 

[Pocahontas]

And on insta too. Buckle up, fraus. View attachment 226335

Time to come clean ... my cat looks alarmingly like hers. He’s not fiddy cent Maine Coon, but it’s pretty close. Our very similar cats make me question my life choices

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Is this the famous tinned Mac & cheese she speaks of, with some veg slung on top?

 

[Pollypops]

Ooh I've been blocked

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s refusing to use the clever fraus advice to stop spamming instagram with separate posts all the time. She hasn’t breached a thousand likes with the last batch. I reckon she’s been asleep all evening, like the good old days.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I need to go to bed, but I always end up needing an hour in the morning to catch up. Is she nocturnal?

Well she said at 1pm today that she had over slept and spoiled her Jam. She was BUSY writing a long list of friends with restaurants until 5am don’t you know?

 

[Harrybosch]

Ooh I've been blocked

Congratulations.

 

[Pocahontas]

Is this the famous tinned Mac & cheese she speaks of, with some veg slung on top?

View attachment 226341

She was SO holding out for a new thread to start, wasn't she? Hilarious! I can imagine her all primed to go with her pictures of the cat and the cheesy pasta and muttering, ‘Just bleeping making the new thread already, I’m WAITING.’

 

[Harrybosch]

Well she said at 1pm today that she had over slept and spoiled her Jam. She was BUSY writing a long list of friends with restaurants until 5am don’t you know?

So relatable. Who amongst has hasn't needed hours to write down all the restaurant owners they know?