Jack Monroe #575 The only poverty she's interested in alleviating is her own

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Classic Guest:

✅ Povjumper
✅ Nasal honk
✅ Tiffany/Breitling left in the Bungahouse for the day
✅ Driving almost zero engagement, couldn’t even be bothered to retweet it etc.
 
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Do guest and Candice follow each other on Twitter? A new pal for her to squirm about in swimming pools with drinking orange squash this summer. I’m sure Candice has very little in the way of work engagements.
 
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Here we go:


Complete with the famous "the vulgarities of minor celebrity", outright lies that Tattle had tried to ruin her life and get her fired from her job on DKL, and claiming that she was studying "a five-year BSc in Nutritional Therapy"
Is she still "at University" then?

This story is bonkers. It's almost sad how much she's lying to herself and to everyone else all while claiming to have made some sort of meaningful change. It's entirely about what a victim she is, what a martyr she is, how much everyone else is to blame. No amends made. No mention of the grift and the fraud. No mention of the people whose trust and care she's abused. She wouldn't know recovery if it poked her in the schnozz.

How does the timeline even make sense?
 
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As my grandmother would opine, she's not skipping any meals.
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I wonder if guest was paid for this appearance. Irregardless, looks like misrepresenting your finances pays well. That isn't a box dye job either.

Fake edit: just noticed the nose. WTF is going on with the Jimmy Durante schnozz?!
 
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As my grandmother would opine, she's not skipping any meals.
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I wonder if guest was paid for this appearance. Irregardless, looks like misrepresenting your finances pays well. That isn't a box dye job either.

Fake edit: just noticed the nose. WTF is going on with the Jimmy Durante schnozz?!
My chin does that tbf and I’m a fairly trim gym-frequenter.
 
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On the bottom left, stripey Easter jumper selfie where she's whittled her chin down to the size of a toothpick, can't she see that this only makes her nose look even wider? At least keep your ❄-bloat jowls in the photo guest, they help to even out the hooter.
The most Noseybonkers version of that was when she went to the little Turkish barber where basically she facetuned herself into the benighted love child of these two from some sort of daemon dimension
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and got this
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I just listened to it. The quavering, terrified sounding, miserable sounding voice she has :( it's hard to imagine how she was ever considered suitable for live TV.
 
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We'll never know how she's coping and adjusting to her biggest addiction.
The shopping addiction.
She'll have to suffer that one in silence with no support, no newspaper article mining for sympathy and unable to mention it even to those who are close to her.
Her income has declined rapidly and even if she did manage to put some money away from the Sue Lee grift, her urge to spend it must be overwhelming.
Behind the scenes she's had a decade of splashing her ill gotten gains on anything she fancies when she's bored and now that she's been forced into obscurity she must be bored shitless.
So true. I didn’t think about that very real addiction. It all boils down to impulse control. I’d imagine spending causes a dopamine surge to complement all the other surges her neurochemistry is habituated to.
 
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No earrings and no expensive watch.
You can recognise the dish that she's prepared straight away.
It's brown, no texture and it's feckin' mushrooms.....again.
Here’s her disgusting slop. Weirdly, unlike Candice’s there doesn’t seem to be a shot of anyone sampling it.
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I just listened to it. The quavering, terrified sounding, miserable sounding voice she has :( it's hard to imagine how she was ever considered suitable for live TV.
She sounds completely unprepared too like she wasnt expecting to have to speak (like me in a teams meeting getting an unexpected techical question that I dont know the answer to).

"Umbrella organisation of organisations"
 
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So true. I didn’t think about that very real addiction. It all boils down to impulse control. I’d imagine spending causes a dopamine surge to complement all the other surges her neurochemistry is habituated to.
Maybe she can make a little card to put the responsibility for her buying stuff back on the seller. Like with her poor, imaginary, corner shop guy.
 
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She sounds completely unprepared too like she wasnt expecting to have to speak (like me in a teams meeting getting an unexpected techical question that I dont know the answer to).

"Umbrella organisation of organisations"
“WHERE ARE MY CUE CARDS?!”
 
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