Jack Monroe #575 The only poverty she's interested in alleviating is her own

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thread title by @MavisBeacon, nominated by @Lazarus. You each win a box of guest's macadamia blondies from 2012, probably the first and last vaguely tasty thing she has ever managed to produce.

Recap! Like Elmer Fudd, guest has been vewy vewy quiet this week as her name keeps being brought up in connection with Depher. However, she's been liking tweets and did pipe up to helpfully let us know that she's still around. Ever the queen of didn't-explicitly-say-that, she suggested she's working on an upcoming Fareshare campaign but as always left room to wiggle out of it. In her absence the canal discussed some of her past greatest hits including the matcha and macadamia blondies at the height of poverty; the time she made pasta with mushrooms from behind the radiator and a Milkybar; the many many times she's been EXHAUSTED; and a full 24 police investigations into the comments on her blog.

As you were ninnies! Wiki on the pink button.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Just saw Eva Green on Instagram and did not recognise her. Or maybe it was Jack.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

I've been mithering (pronounced "mithering") over the bath salts.

None of the recipes I've found include bog standard table salt, and nor do they use crushed up orange peel or eucalyptus leaves, they all use epsom salts, some use sea salt or the pink Himalayan salt as well, and essential oils. Anything like flower petals or leaves are strictly for decoration, to make it look pretty as a gift.

So, it looks like she's taken a perfectly functional recipe that is the recipe because it works, swapped out the ingredients for cheapo pov versions because she doesn't understand what she's doing, and created something that will block your drains. Much like her slops, really.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I've been mithering (pronounced "mithering") over the bath salts.

None of the recipes I've found include bog standard table salt, and nor do they use crushed up orange peel or eucalyptus leaves, they all use epsom salts, some use sea salt or the pink Himalayan salt as well, and essential oils. Anything like flower petals or leaves are strictly for decoration, to make it look pretty as a gift.

So, it looks like she's taken a perfectly functional recipe that is the recipe because it works, swapped out the ingredients for cheapo pov versions because she doesn't understand what she's doing, and created something that will block your drains. Much like her slops, really.

What Jack (and tbh others in her “niche”) consistently fail to understand is that not every recipe can be made accessible to everyone and that is perfectly fine.

It’s not discriminatory to have a recipe containing expensive ingredients that someone in poverty cannot afford. Not everything can be for everyone, sometimes “it’s an aubergine recipe Susan” and that’s that.

What is discriminatory is making a shite version of it you’ve never tried yourself and that won’t work so you can claim you’ve made it accessible to the povs and collect all the headpats. See the salts and her bleeping weird jubilee trifle.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Something, who knows quite what, is exhausting, according to a tweet by guest. But, she's still here ....and so are we.

 

[Carefree]

Wonder if she'll be awake in time to watch her great rivals lose to their neighbours again. Probably not but we can live in hope

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Harking back to @Valiofthedolls post (#1024, final page) of the last thread, highlighting some of "Star Letter Jack's" Southend Post Offerings, it occurs to me that there might be a market for a book along the lines of

Dr Dr* Jack Monroe: Collected Letters.
The Uncensored Outpourings of a Weird L'l Smol Pixie ADHD Crumbly-Boned Autistic Bi-Transexual 2nd
Generational Immigrant Mixed-Mediterranean Living-in-the-Pov Single-Parent Bungamansion Brain



*So good they "doctored" her twice.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Jack once she hears about Eammon "You're stressing me out mate" and Ruth getting a divorce:



"Hi Eammon, only me. ...Jack. No, not him, Monroe. ...The cook? Resemblance to Natalie Portman? Anyway, I know we haven't spoken since I slightly undercooked my Lingreenie and lost my slot on This Morning, but I just wondered if you wanted to catch up at The Groucho some time?"

*click*

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack once she hears about Eammon "You're stressing me out mate" and Ruth getting a divorce:

"Hi Eammon only me. ...Jack. No, not him, Monroe. ...The cook? Resemblance to Natalie Portman? Anyway, I know we haven't spoken since I slightly undercooked my Lingreenie and lost my slot on This Morning, but I just wondered if you wanted to catch up at The Groucho some time?"

*click*

Eamonn her Telly Dad?

Whose arm she ENTHUSIASTICALLY CONSENTED to have around her because he’s her Telly Dad (again).

Telly Dad’s not the nicest man she’s met in her life, though. No. For that is none other than her son’s extremely supportive (and crucially to the grift extremely quiet) father), DEAD Grandad, Saint Chocco Daddy. Oops, none of the above, it is none other than son of the Queen stepson of the King and crucially, FAMOUS PERSON…

PS that tv appearance with Telly Dad wasn’t exactly a roaring success

Spoiler

It’s only about a min long and if you can face sitting through her slopping salmon paste, milk and bottled lemon around in a bowl, you get to enjoy Telly Dad with a mouthful of peach curry valiantly describing it as “quite exotic really”

Video: Jack Monroe makes three meals for a fiver on This Morning | Daily Mail Online

This Morning viewers have slammed British food writer Jack Monroe's three dishes for a fiver despite Ruth and Eamonn's compliments. The activist presented salmon, pea and lemon pasta, fruit and veg curry, and mustard chicken with winter veg.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Droosie123]

I see the whole “ I moved the blue screen so I could forensically watch the caesarean section” comment was revisited in the last thread. For the newer canal members I can say as an ex-midwife this would not be possible..

Shock horror…..she lied about this.

 

[Nonah]

I see the whole “ I moved the blue screen so I could forensically watch the caesarean section” comment was revisited in the last thread. For the newer canal members I can say as an ex-midwife this would not be possible..

Shock horror…..she lied about this.

As with all the lies I cannot understand why.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hey, kids! Here’s why you shouldn’t spend a decade lying incessantly, cosplaying and claiming to be something you’re most definitely not, and grifting hundreds of thousands of pounds from well-meaning people.

Spoiler: Just Say No

2013

2023

On the mic in 2013

And in 2023

Snorting a Matterhorn’s worth of gak you bought with other people’s money probably doesn’t help, either

 

[Nonah]

I always think she looks like Sid Owen in that bottom pic

 

[TrolleyParton]

I always think she looks like Sid Owen in that bottom pic

RICKKKAAYYYYY!!!

 

[hereforthechaos]

What Jack (and tbh others in her “niche”) consistently fail to understand is that not every recipe can be made accessible to everyone and that is perfectly fine.

It’s not discriminatory to have a recipe containing expensive ingredients that someone in poverty cannot afford. Not everything can be for everyone, sometimes “it’s an aubergine recipe Susan” and that’s that.

What is discriminatory is making a shite version of it you’ve never tried yourself and that won’t work so you can claim you’ve made it accessible to the povs and collect all the headpats. See the salts and her bleeping weird jubilee trifle.

A better approach would be to show how to use a few quality ingredients and make value of them or pick out things to scrimp on and things that it's worth spending a bit more on.
And not all rice is interchangeable

 

[StatusWoe]

View attachment 2956345Just saw Eva Green on Instagram and did not recognise her. Or maybe it was Jack.

If only we could see her arms, then we'd know for sure!

 

[kachoochoo]

we might get a congratulatory tweet for bff marcus if man utd keep up this inexplicable lead in the kickyball

 

[griftalo]

I always think she looks like Sid Owen in that bottom pic

Time to bring this back

---

 

[Carefree]

"Tom PB" () is a genuinely nice chap and uses the tube regularly. Guest could never.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Eamonn her Telly Dad?
View attachment 2956514

Whose arm she ENTHUSIASTICALLY CONSENTED to have around her because he’s her Telly Dad (again).
View attachment 2956516
Telly Dad’s not the nicest man she’s met in her life, though. No. For that is none other than her son’s extremely supportive (and crucially to the grift extremely quiet) father), DEAD Grandad, Saint Chocco Daddy. Oops, none of the above, it is none other than son of the Queen stepson of the King and crucially, FAMOUS PERSON…View attachment 2956535View attachment 2956536PS that tv appearance with Telly Dad wasn’t exactly a roaring success

Spoiler

View attachment 2956537View attachment 2956539View attachment 2956549
It’s only about a min long and if you can face sitting through her slopping salmon paste, milk and bottled lemon around in a bowl, you get to enjoy Telly Dad with a mouthful of peach curry valiantly describing it as “quite exotic really”

Video: Jack Monroe makes three meals for a fiver on This Morning | Daily Mail Online

This Morning viewers have slammed British food writer Jack Monroe's three dishes for a fiver despite Ruth and Eamonn's compliments. The activist presented salmon, pea and lemon pasta, fruit and veg curry, and mustard chicken with winter veg.

www.dailymail.co.uk

There's some interesting body language on display from Tom Parker-Bowles, isn't there? That death grip on the wine glass...