Just amusing myself thinking about guest rocking up to the WI with her slow cooker greengage jam.
Jack Monroe #574 She's definitely lying about something
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I think that may be the chaos I was thinking of!
Penicillin central
THAT MAN now on this morning doing a phone in for any food issues. He’s actually coming across well - nice, humble and knowledgeable.
Can you IMAGINE guest honking her way through a phone in like this.
A lady has just phoned in as her 7 year old is fussy and not eating much variety.
guest: “when my SB was 7 I had the fridge unplugged and he wanted more bread and jam and couldn’t have it. Check your privilege”
ETA he’s now giving tips on celebrating the uniqueness of the different herbs…
I thought they were all interchangeable
Can you IMAGINE guest honking her way through a phone in like this.
A lady has just phoned in as her 7 year old is fussy and not eating much variety.
guest: “when my SB was 7 I had the fridge unplugged and he wanted more bread and jam and couldn’t have it. Check your privilege”
ETA he’s now giving tips on celebrating the uniqueness of the different herbs…
I thought they were all interchangeable
It's harder to hit someone if you shoot for the head, because it's a smaller and usually moving target. Torso shots are easier and just as catastrophic.
Me and @Witchfinder Sargeant exposing ourselves as the Canal psychos here...
Yes! They were successfully trialled some 140 yrs ago by a Mr Kelly from Down Under.
How successful? Well, it took shotgun pellets to the legs to capture him.
Lads, I may have triangled her new job.
I've just discovered a cafe in London totally dedicated to Princess Diana. As Lady Di/Die's biggest fan I'm sure it was a no brainer for Jack to start working there. Granted it's a big commute but totally worth it.
Seriously though, Google it, it is AMAZING and I'm still laughing.
I've just discovered a cafe in London totally dedicated to Princess Diana. As Lady Di/Die's biggest fan I'm sure it was a no brainer for Jack to start working there. Granted it's a big commute but totally worth it.
Seriously though, Google it, it is AMAZING and I'm still laughing.
<gets old Brownie Sash out of the loft>
<blows off dust and spiders>
Yes!
I knew I had a badge for something, somewhere!
Yeah, I know, but I’m a really good shot!
In other news, this is something else I don’t get.
Being active on Twitter and on the TV and campaigning and loud and busy and fighting the trolls are exhausting.
Being inactive and gentle and quiet and low profile and getting no attention are exhausting.
Jack, if you are reading - as we suspect - you might want to get yourself down the doctor’s, love. It sounds like you could have ME.
Don’t give her ideas for new maladies!
Don't start giving her ideas!
Tuppence means vajayjay here!Tuppence means vajayjay here! I never want her to give us as much as a peek of her “chubby lil thighs” thanks
That's inflation for you.
Used to be ha'penny in my day.
There was even a song about it ("Keep your hand on your ha'penny, Cover it well with your palm. Keep your hand on your ha'penny, and Molly will come to no harm"). They don't write them like that any more.
<nostalgic>
Yeah, I wish I could remember when it was as it was hilarious. She almost managed to unite the entire political divide into one agreed stance…. That she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.
Completed it, mate. When she was 24.
Fortunately for them, they didn’t have to kick her out for sullying their table sales with ghastly jam “recipes” and Bread and Jam crafts, for this was a year into THE TERRIBLE POVERTY. Within 6 weeks of writing this poor WI Jack was thrust into prostitution and stealing food to survive, so had no more time for table sale frippery, and instead bestowed her hideous jams and cross stitch on her “johns” at the imaginary brothel.
I have M.E and on behalf of the other medically EXHAUSTED people, we don’t want her.
QMLAN
There were a few
reactions to the post.I'm sorry for upsetting or offending anyone, xx
Don't worry, tenderstem, theQMLAN
There were a few
I'm sorry for upsetting or offending anyone, xx
reaction is aimed at Jack, not you.
Jack saying "it's nice to be called young" in 2012, when she was 24, is also deeply funny to me. Leaning into the crumbly, achey, wizened energy that early in life is such loser behaviour. Also doing it whilst chucking in an ageist comment about the WI more broadly 
"well of course compared to these coffin dodgers, I suppose I am just a wee sprite!"
Just want to add: I know there are lots of very young people afflicted by debilitating and limiting conditions that do make them feel achey. Jack isn't one of them. No offence intended to any fraus who have suffered from chronic and painful conditions from a young age.
"well of course compared to these coffin dodgers, I suppose I am just a wee sprite!"Just want to add: I know there are lots of very young people afflicted by debilitating and limiting conditions that do make them feel achey. Jack isn't one of them. No offence intended to any fraus who have suffered from chronic and painful conditions from a young age.
Contrary to what she said the Guardian and in the Diva
vid, Jack only LIED that she tried to seduce Leggy with sex pasta!
It wasn’t carbonaaaaraa, but a BIG BUTCH DINNER that most definitely put the Oh Mon Dieu, Non! in
BOLOGNON
Faced with a leftover hunk of beef last night to stretch between two grown women with fairly healthy appetites, I started making bolognese, changed my mind and wanted bourgignon, and changed it bac...
web.archive.org
This was right as they were getting together/immediately engaged/guest was moving in, so Leggy could have been awarded sex pasta, because guest was on a full on loveboming lobster tail and Madeira-filled cosplay complete lie about being a bon vivant gourmand and proper chef just like Legster.
In a nanosecond’s fit of wisdom amongst all the foolishness that saw her get engaged to and move Jack into her house within days of meeting her, fortunately for Allegra, she had the good sense to pretend she didn’t like white chocolate
HEADRUSH SPAGHETTI
Traditionally, on Valentines Days gone by, I would knock up a pan of tagliatelle with a slow-cooked chilli and tomato sauce, hand torn basil and parsley, a few finely chopped olives and two lobster...
web.archive.org
Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe
Oh such a high standard has already been set! Truly the most hilarious corner of the internet :D
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