Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

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how very dare you, that potato is DISABLED. monkeys!

I thought it might be fun to revisit the dire potatoes so I took myself off to thread 404. but I got distracted by yorkshires. We all know the "cracking" hockey puck yorkshires

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and the hockey puck with embedded dog turd ones

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but I hadn't heard the hilaaaarious story of the ones that fail when she makes them for someone else's husband that she shouldn't be flirting with

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if the top one is a cracking one in her opinion then what the duck must the failures look like? post it notes? communion wafers? do they exist in only two dimensions?

also how can you fail at a Yorkshire? I mean literally it's possible as the above 2 pics prove, but I mean how can you be so bleeping stupid? you're a cook. they're incredibly simple and easy to make. you should understand how they work and if you don't there's 10 million free resources to tell you. I'd find it harder to make those weird pale pastry cases than a proper Yorkshire.

as for the idiotic comment about the kids dad: think maybe his are only as bad as hers ( how could they be worse) but she has cognitive dissonance and can't see it. she looks at hers and sees lovely puffy browned successes. she's beyond help

also this utter cringe was on theat thread

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chatting pony
bet yo ass I'm gonna

I am scarlet with secondhand embarrassment from two years ago. Oh my god
What is happening here 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 they look a bit like undercooked cookies
 

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What is happening here 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 they look a bit like undercooked cookies
They're disgusting! I can't believe anyone claiming to have the slightest interest or skill at cooking (cooked for Mary Portas! Worked in a professional kitchen!) would post those publicly with any kind of pride. She's either totally deluded or a narc troll.
 
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Apparently “10 fish that look like Jack Monroe” is off limits, what on earth will I do with my spare time now?
Turns out there’s a whole world of flora, fauna and um…ephemera
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out there that you can find in about 5 mins, so that someone else can pop in for 15-20 minutes to radiate superior intellectual disapproval at it.
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the cords pic. that has ended me. what was she thinking? where did she find a pastel disco light filter? why did she ask for such large lip fillers? is she still wearing the fake shiner makeup? what is that in her hair?
 
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Things when given momentum really went fast. I could have sworn the 7k breitling was over a year ago. Nope, last summer ? Seems far longer ago. Good riddance. You helped nobody but yourself.
 

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I think sb's dad was doing supervised visits for a while... and her being her was making it out to be more. I had a mate whos brother was bad with the drink and she had take her neice to visit him under court order. The way she talked about herself under the influence could make this plausibie, espcially if CPS as she likes to call them were involved.
 
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"First do no harm..."

Well, you've truly fucked that one there, guest 😒
 
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the cords pic. that has ended me. what was she thinking? where did she find a pastel disco light filter? why did she ask for such large lip fillers? is she still wearing the fake shiner makeup? what is that in her hair?
Literally. Literally. Literally Can’t believe she looked at that photo and went ‘yep that’s a striking pose, that’ll get old LJC running back to me’
De Lou Lou
And also twit
 
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the cords pic. that has ended me. what was she thinking? where did she find a pastel disco light filter? why did she ask for such large lip fillers? is she still wearing the fake shiner makeup? what is that in her hair?
In her hair is…her hair. It’s the Rambo hairband made out of the piece of her own hair. Adorned (as Nazi Shitrag Daily Mail likes to say) with what looks like that angry flower in your avi and a shell off the MOD beach, lovingly assembled by the light from the window, filtered through the many layers of voile. (while cowering in fear at knocks, soap, soup and death threats at the door)
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Guess you’re doubly fucked on that one this week, pal Rainbow Brite. What with you on MN and on here and all that…

ETA: ss @Peachy9 and @Pocahontas
 
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I almost start to feel sorry for her sometimes and then I remember she’s told so many lies, we’ve been able to keep this thread going even though she hasn’t been on Twitter in months. And it’s not like they were harmless ones either, she told a lot of them to get people to send her money.
 
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I almost start to feel sorry for her sometimes and then I remember she’s told so many lies, we’ve been able to keep this thread going even though she hasn’t been on Twitter in months. And it’s not like they were harmless ones either, she told a lot of them to get people to send her money.
Yeah, I don’t feel sorry for her at all. May 12, 2020 she posted this
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Chunks of the world have been pretty much locked down since mid-March, loads of us have no idea if/when we’ll ever see our loved ones again, people are dying in their tens of thousands, health workers the world over are busting their arses in truly horrendous circumstances, people are financially vulnerable/fucked, and she’s already taken enormous advantage of the barely two months old pandemic to

1. Downplay the fact she lives with the about-to be announced Channel 4 Head of News and Current Affairs to cry on the internet and grift thousands of pounds for lost work, and
2. Bully and cause a pile on to get her own series which she fucked up, not least through her own laziness

And there she is like the World’s least pleasant and most overgrown dipshit 13 year old with a MySpace page circa decades ago, thirst posting while telling sob stories about made up medical conditions to the entire internet cos she was dumped and her ego can’t handle it.

You can “be exactly who you are” in those and innumerable other circumstances, Jack. But if you publicly post exactly who you are and crucially, who and what you PRETEND to be (little Victorian match girl in the hovel of darkness with a decade of post-firefighter PTSD), you have to understand you’re going to be called out on your deplorable (and frankly ridiculous) behavior in public.
 
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Might have had an early midweek drink... Was not prepared for those pictures. Scary AF. What did she Google to achieve this, bad acid trip portrait mode?
 
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Another beauty that she's bizarrely kept in her Facebook photos
 
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I think things like the person defending Carrie are exactly why guest got away with so much for so long. I don’t deny that many women in the public eye are treated poorly but the flip side of that, is that people like guest will be frequently excused with "MISOGYNY, god forbid women enjoy things, you're just tearing down her confidence cuz she's a woman, how dare a working class mum be successful amirite"
 
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Things when given momentum really went fast. I could have sworn the 7k breitling was over a year ago. Nope, last summer ? Seems far longer ago. Good riddance. You helped nobody but yourself.
To be honest, I think her ''career'' was on the wane then. Her appearances weren't exactly a success, and attendance to her talks was really low iirc.

the cords pic. that has ended me. what was she thinking? where did she find a pastel disco light filter? why did she ask for such large lip fillers? is she still wearing the fake shiner makeup? what is that in her hair?
It's brilliant. Cracks me up every time. 😂 As Vali said, the thing in her hair is her hair. It's the same braid that featured in her equally perplexing 101 Dalmatians selfie.

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Jack-as-movie-titles - Fillers in the Mist
 
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Yeah, I don’t feel sorry for her at all. May 12, 2020 she posted thisView attachment 2866059View attachment 2866080Chunks of the world have been pretty much locked down since mid-March, loads of us have no idea if/when we’ll ever see our loved ones again, people are dying in their tens of thousands, health workers the world over are busting their arses in truly horrendous circumstances, people are financially vulnerable/fucked, and she’s already taken enormous advantage of the barely two months old pandemic to

1. Downplay the fact she lives with the about-to be announced Channel 4 Head of News and Current Affairs to cry on the internet and grift thousands of pounds for lost work, and
2. Bully and cause a pile on to get her own series which she fucked up, not least through her own laziness

And there she is like the World’s least pleasant and most overgrown dipshit 13 year old with a MySpace page circa decades ago, thirst posting while telling sob stories about made up medical conditions to the entire internet cos she was dumped and her ego can’t handle it.

You can “be exactly who you are” in those and innumerable other circumstances, Jack. But if you publicly post exactly who you are and crucially, who and what you PRETEND to be (little Victorian match girl in the hovel of darkness with a decade of post-firefighter PTSD), you have to understand you’re going to be called out on your deplorable (and frankly ridiculous) behavior in public.
I might be completely wrong here @Valiofthedolls but, in the interests of rigorous triangulation, were these corduroy pics not taken after SHE LEFT? She did that weird hair amputation and underwear on the sideboard shots when LJC fled the bungamansion in 2020.

So she couldn't have been living with LJC at this time, no?

Everything else you've said, dear one, stands.
 
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To be honest, I think her ''career'' was on the wane then. Her appearances weren't exactly a success, and attendance to her talks was really low iirc.



It's brilliant. Cracks me up every time. 😂 As Vali said, the thing in her hair is her hair. It's the same braid that featured in her equally perplexing 101 Dalmatians selfie.

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Jack-as-movie-titles - Fillers in the Mist
TOO SOON ALAS!
 
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To be honest, I think her ''career'' was on the wane then. Her appearances weren't exactly a success, and attendance to her talks was really low iirc.



It's brilliant. Cracks me up every time. 😂 As Vali said, the thing in her hair is her hair. It's the same braid that featured in her equally perplexing 101 Dalmatians selfie.

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Jack-as-movie-titles - Fillers in the Mist
Every time I see this pic, I think she’s wearing a cling film bonnet. I KNOW she’s not but it’s like one of those pictures which mess with your eyes. Like that photo of a cockerpoo running out of the woods which looks like a man with a backpack on running into them
 
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